Today is my mom’s birthday. I am so grateful I got to text her this morning and receive a text back from her- crazy how a week doesn’t go as expected and you can be left reeling in the muddle of “what if”. She had been feeling a bit sick, her energy low, weird low grade fever off and on, but after delaying their anticipated trip to NY to see my sister, they decided to go. As the week progressed, so did her weakness and health. A trip to the ER ended up with her being admitted where they found out she has Lyme disease and Babesia. Her particular case was severe, and has affected her lungs and heart. We all prayed as we watched her walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It’s not an easy place to be. You want to run into the sunshine and tear your eyes away from the darkness and feelings of separation.

Praise God- He is not finished with her yet! She is growing stronger every day. Her bloodwork is looking fine. She is responding well to treatment. I am “behind” in my Bible reading (whatever that means… it’s not a competition!) and yet I was exactly where I needed to be, in Psalm 41:

Blessed is the one who considers the poor!
    In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him;
² the Lord protects him and keeps him alive;
    he is called blessed in the land;
    you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.
³ The Lord sustains him on his sickbed;
    in his illness you restore him to full health.

I celebrate her today! The hours she has spent caring for her children, her grandchildren, and many many more. She has a way of loving and noticing and knowing just what to say. I rise up and call her blessed. Happy birthday, Marmee!

For almost three years I’ve chosen to put this off. There’s too much to write, I think. So I don’t. There’s so much that’s happened. So I push it off another day. Even the fact that I ended my last post with a part one, begs for a part two, which has kept me frozen in time for these three years. Instead of stressing about filling in the gaps of the last three years, I’ve decided to keep those memories on my camera phone, my one-line-a-day diary, and my brain’s very own hard drive. The main reason I need to get back to writing is the very fact that it is a way in which I feel God smile. Someone told me just this week how God looks forward and loves to meet me in the place where I sit down and put words on a page. And another friend asked me if I ever thought about writing a book. That makes more people than I can count who have asked me this. No, this isn’t a book, but it’s like a warm-up session to a workout, or a training run for an even longer run. You’re welcome to peek into the words, but it’s more like an exercise of dislodging the writer’s cobwebs which seem to be thickly spread throughout my procrastination-familiar brain.

For the sake of continuity, I would like to wrap up the last three years in as concise a way as possible.

We recently sold our big van, Silver Belle. It was emotional as we had so many amazing memories with her. We bought a different, smaller, Mercedes R Class 350. It’s weird to have out-shrunk something instead of outgrown it, for the first time ever.

Harry has grown into a kindergartner with such a sweet darling personality. He loves to trace, eat oats with blueberries, pretend he’s a police-officer, record himself talking on an old-fashioned tape deck and take rides in the car. I love introducing him to my old childhood favorites like Psalty the Singing Songbook or Patch the Pirate, and we listen while we drive. He still like dinosaurs, but also loves cars, bugs, creatures of all kinds, and is slowly getting braver in the swimming pool!

Betty is just about my height, now. I actually changed size quite a bit over the last three years, and thankfully I saved all of my old clothes, because she fits into everything just perfectly. She is completely into crafts and has an entrepreneur-driven brain. Her current obsession are these beautiful hand-made earrings. She loves to listen to Adventures in Odyssey and is almost always doing that while crafting. We gave her a cat named Timmy for her birthday this year, and he’s totally loved. She recently had an epic trip to a camp in Tennessee, and I was able to fly there to bring her home. She’s also relishing another week she had at a local camp and two more weeks coming up later this month!

Elsie is a beautiful young woman with such an artistic flair. She is brave and hilarious. She double-pierced her own ears a few weeks ago and is super nonchalant about such things. She cleans houses on the side and “fluffing” a space to make it beautiful seems to come quite naturally to her. Ukulele, guitar and singing are still a part of her life. She’s currently on week 2 of four weeks of camp!

Jack is about Matt’s height, and got his driving permit this spring. He’s an excellent driver and saving up for his own car. He still wrestles, but also had the opportunity to run his first 50K with Matt in Kentucky last month. His favorite summer activity is biking and fixing up his go-kart to go 40mph. He will bike for miles and miles, and I’m always amazed by his new-found skills and tricks he teaches himself just by using youtube. He often works for Matt a couple days a week, and is a huge help. He is currently at soccer camp.

Elijah graduated highschool last year, went straight to tech school, and graduated last week from UTI as an automotive technician. He’s been working at a shop all year, and today was his first day on the job, full time, not as a student, but as a full-fledged technician. Of course, he will always be a student because learning never stops, but there is the major perk of no more tuition! We had a celebration this weekend with the family, and surprised him big time with something he’s been dreaming about for a long time: a motorcycle. He’s already had a safety lesson from his granddaddy, who also rides. Less gas, more prayers!

Nadine also graduated from highschool last year. She has spent the last year working at a barn, a coffee shop, and cleaning houses. She experienced moving into her own place for most of the year, but various things have led her to move back home as she shifts career directions. Being in the “in-between” is exciting, daunting, overwhelming and full of possibility! She continues to be amazing with animals, especially dogs and horses. It truly is a gift!

Matthew continues to work his own business. It has grown and God has blessed him! He has one major renovation job and a few smaller things on the side. One of those being our house. Since part one (which pictures I can hardly believe!) our house has changed so much I barely recognize our old photos. This month he installed all new windows, finished the downstairs trim, and put us at about 95 percent finished from our “bathroom renovation”. Hahahaha. We all have a good laugh at that one! We do not recommend living in a renovation. Matthew also went to and graduated from something called the “Man of War Crucible”. I will link it here, instead of explain it. You can take a look and see what kind of experience this was. We talk about it here, as well, after the fact. (Language warning… not from our interview, though, which starts around minute 19). He is now a coach for the program and is an amazing mentor to many other men, as well as being mentored. He also continues to run ultra marathons and feels really good. There will always be the collateral damage from years of surgeries and such, but we continue to ask questions and learn how to better support our bodies, and be convinced that they are designed to heal themselves.

Major changes for me? The most difficult challenges began as two positive pregnancy tests. One in December of 2019, and one in August of 2021. They both ended as a miscarriage, and my body went through a real mixed up time of excitement, grief, joy and grief like I’ve never experienced before. The highlight of the last three years was when Matthew surprised me on my fortieth birthday with my very own “Amazing Race” experience, complete with clues, which culminated with a trip to Thailand twelve hours later! What a gift, and what divine timing, as we arrived home March 13, 2020. Enough said.

Other changes include the fact that after seven years, I am no longer working my Plexus business. This was not an easy or quick decision, but one which came with a lot of peace. God taught me so very much during those years, and gave me such beautiful friendships which I still have, even though I’m no longer with them in business. So what do I do now? You’re reading it. =)

Matthew and I also started a podcast! So far we are only fourteen episodes in, but it’s been a lot of fun to learn and do. We are praying for continued ideas, growth, and clarity as we expand this area of ministry. It’s called the Ride of a Lifetime, and you can listen here!

Obviously there is MUCH more in between each of these lines, but the first layer of cobwebs has been swooshed away, and I’m committed. Thanks for reading this far, and stay tuned for more!

I didn’t cry for the entire month of June.  Every mile we drove across the United States was exactly what my mind and body needed.  Our home renovation went from bad to worse before it started getting better.

We literally worked straight for two days before we left, moving furniture, ripping out the stairs, and I honestly don’t even remember what else.  Matthew took off his toolbelt, laid it on the ground and we walked out of the house.  Dust covered, unsure if we forgot something important, or if we did, where that thing even was in our house.  Every single item had been packed up, moved around, thrown out or disappeared into the place where half of all my favorite earrings go.

We slept a few hours at Matthew’s parents’ house before hitting the road before dawn the next day. Moe came along and loved every second of it (except the few times we had to leave him alone in the van or house for a few minutes).  He was a fabulous traveler.

Already a couple days later than we had wanted to leave, we wanted to make it to Ohio to see our dear friends.  So grateful we arrived before supper and were able to enjoy a meal together and play in one of Columbus’s many fantastic parks.  After a delicious breakfast the next day we headed out for one of the longest stretches of our journey: Ohio to Arkansas.

We arrived in Arkansas in the middle of the night, and to what we thought was Shelly & Phil’s driveway.  Silver Belle barely made it without a popped tire or dislocated wheels as we maneuvered down the most rocky driveway I had ever experienced.  Because of the hour, it wasn’t past imagining if we were indeed at the wrong house, how a shotgun would remind us.  After turning around, we discovered we were a mere few yards from their driveway when we turned down the wrong one.  We not-so-quietly unloaded into the sweet camper guesthouse they had set up for us, and crashed into one of the best sleeps ever.

The next day we were introduced to Arkansas beauty.  Walking near the Buffalo River and discovering an Indian rock house, which was basically a gigantic cave, was an incredible highlight for us all.  Swimming in water holes, eating BBQ, and relaxing with another cup of tea overlooking the Ozark mountains… it was all so breathtaking.

From Arkansas we drove to Texas.  The big sky swept us away with its stunning colors as the sun was setting when we arrived at our campsite.  We ate at a fun Texan restaurant with cowhide tablecloths, and all the girls found cowgirl hats.  We couldn’t explore as much as we wanted to as we had to set off for our next stop right away the next morning.

From Texas we set out for Arizona.  We arrived at our KOA campsite and it turned out to be a wild and windy evening for an hour or two.  Once it settled down, Matthew and I found a grocery store and brought back some supper and breakfast items and we had our first true cookout with our handy little solo stove. One night there and the call of the Grand Canyon beckoned us to keep driving West.

We had no idea when we ripped out our bathroom how long the process from start to finish would be.  I’m not pregnant, but it’s been a pregnancy.  We’ve had hospital visits, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 8 birthdays, 1 dog, and an entire schoolyear in the span of time we haven’t had a shower.  We joked the entire school year about how we would look back on this as the “year without a shower”, never anticipating how true that would be.  Yet, here we are.  Harry no longer fits in the kitchen sink as he did when we first began.  We joined the YMCA and shower over there ninety-five percent of the time.  The other five percent of the time we are blessed by our neighbor and my parents letting us use their shower.  We’ve adapted, as anyone does during challenging circumstances.  Hard things are just that, and they always hold the opportunity for growth if we let them. Speaking of challenging, last month Matthew completed a dream he’s had for a long time.  It’s not a new dream or the first time he’s accomplished it.  But it is the first time since his windpipe surgeries which held a lot of significance for us both.  He completed a 50-mile ultramarathon trail run over his 37th birthday.  It was beautiful and excruciatingly painful and exhilarating all at the same time.  At mile 48 it was two o’clock in the morning, 37 degrees outside, pitch black, and he warmed up in my sleeping bag for an hour or so.  I woke him up and told him he had to go finish. Even though we both wanted to find a hot shower and call it done, when you’ve come this far you don’t do it just to say you almost finished.  He completed the last grueling miles and the next morning we slept in the van until we found a café which was open.  It’s experiences like this which teach us a lot about ourselves.  Again, don’t run away from difficulties.

Matthew’s business has grown during these months as well, and we continue to pound out debt like the very unwelcome guest it has been.  Our bathroom renovation has been running parallel to our pace of cashflow and debt payoff.  Envisioning us screaming: “We’re debt free!!!!!!” keeps me from pouting about the lack of a shower.  This has been a character-refining year for us all.  Don’t shy from the hard stuff.

Nadine just got a job working at our favorite coffee shop.  It’s so cute to see her sweet curly head behind the counter.  She babysits a lot, does horseback riding and interns at a veterinary clinic once a week.  What an incredible experience it’s all been for her!  She isn’t driving yet with a license, but has been practicing with her permit.  This stage of letting go is both exhilarating and terrifying.

Elijah is into 3D designing and printing.  He also has taken off quite literally since he enrolled in flight school.  A few times a month he hits the skies in a Cessna while his mama cranes her neck to watch him make 45 degree bank turns and squeal when he lands on the ground again.  I usually drive to the end of the runway and stand across the street as he comes in for a landing.

Jack officially made our teenager count now half and half.  He wrestles twice a week and is a ninja warrior on the down days.  The other day he took a picture of a leaf.  Matthew was holding his phone looking at the photo of Jack holding the leaf and told me to take a look.  Never have I seen two identical thumbs quite like theirs:This is basically how each day keeps marching along: I’m rocking them in their bassinet at night and in the morning their hands are bigger than mine.  Jack’s tulips always make me smile and signal the new season of spring.  Matthew’s mom gifted them to me when he was a baby and I dug them out of our garden in our old house in November, guessing as to their whereabouts and transplanting the bulbs.  Now they bloom on his birthday week every year and make me smile.  He loves orange and being home.

Wherever Elsie goes, music is close at hand.  She writes songs and knows every song she’s ever listened to.  She started her own cleaning channel.  There is constant unending opportunity to practice her love of cleaning in our house.  She brings so much order to our home.  Last week we had the chance to sneak out of the house together and get her some much-needed new outfits, because the phenomenon of growing up isn’t escaping any of our kids.  I love these outings to listen to their dreams and concerns and spend time laughing together and drinking coffee.  She’s a blessing!

Betty dreamed of ballet for so many years, and to watch her dream coming true is so special.  She brings an incredible gift of wit and fire to every situation.  When you’re in doubt what the next best thing is to do, Betty will tell you.  When you’re unsure if you should stay home or go work out at the gym, she will get your butt in gear and outrun you at the gym.  She loves to dance, and teaching Matthew some of her moves is probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time.

Harry- it’s best when you say his name three times in a row.  Harry, Harry, Harry.  Every night it is as if a tornado has settled and my whole body relaxes a bit easier.  So much imagination, activity, disaster and mess all rolled into the cutest blue eyes and perpetually dirty face.  We have a hole in our kitchen floor right now where the heating vent used to be.  It is covered by a piece of wood, which he figured out how to move.  On the daily, we are missing various things from kitchen utensils to Moe’s water bowl.  The haul we’ve retrieved from the vent and the basement floor is impressive.  From shoes and trucks to dry shampoo and oranges.  Harry.  He loves dinosaurs and specific shirts.  He has thoughts about everything and loves to drive in the van.  Often if it’s a quick errand, dropping Nadine off at work or running to the post office, when we get home he starts to cry and wants to GO somewhere.  He’s a doer and a worker and appreciates flowers.

I resisted the idea of having a dog for so long.  Now I’m not quite sure how we managed without him.  He is basically my shadow.  If I go to the bathroom, he sits outside the door.  If I go to my room, he’s there.  If I cook, he lies on the kitchen floor at my feet.  If I’m on the couch, he snuggles next to me.  If I get home from somewhere and he didn’t come with me, he will run out to the van and sit in the front seat next to me, ready to go.  Moe made me a dog person, and it’s a wild thing when your heart expands just a little more.  Turns out the space was there all along.

I spent the entire month of April plagued with poison ivy.  I’ll spare you the pictures, but it was not fun.  Despite the craziness, we managed to finish school this week.  The kids have grown so much in their character

Consistency compounds.  This statement has been playing around in my mind all year.  One step.  One choice.  One bite.  One workout.  One thought.  One action.  Over and over and over.  Depending on what they are, progress is made in some direction- either positive or negative.  Whatever you’re willing to put up with will determine those decisions.  Are you willing to feel out of shape?  Are you willing to be broke?  Are you willing to stay stuck?  Are you willing to be lazy?  Are you willing to be distant from your spouse?  Are you willing to hate your job?  Are you willing to put up with the negative self-talk you’re speaking over yourself?  These are all questions I’ve asked myself this year alone.  Well, everything but the hating my job one, because I absolutely love my job.  The answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO.  But the answer isn’t the secret sauce.  Action is.

Instead of change everything all at once, which always always leads to burnout and quitting for me, I decided to focus on one thing this month.  I want to eat clean every day, workout every day, have a clean house, be a fun mom, a spicy wife, a savvy business woman and cook yummy dinners every night for my family.  What I NEEDED to do was quiet my soul and be still.  Being a 7 on the enneagram makes this one of the hardest things for me to do.  Yet also one of the most needful things.  As is picking ONE thing and committing to it.  This is so healthy for someone like me, who can flit and float seamlessly from one fun intention to another, leaving idea number one dying a slow death while I embark on idea number one-thousand-and-two.

So I made a commitment this month to do ONE thing which involved being still and quiet.  Interestingly, some of the other choices I want to make are naturally starting falling into place because of this one step.  I joined a 5am’ers group and am choosing to set my alarm for 4:40 every morning, Monday through Friday, and not to hit the snooze button.

The first couple of days were awful.  I wasn’t waking up early to do anything fun, like catch a flight to another country or drive four hours to land on someone’s doorstep for breakfast.  Nope.  Just shuffle downstairs, get a cup of tea, and be quiet.

Sometimes fantastic ideas come to me during this time, and sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes I’ve been able to exercise during this time, and sometimes I haven’t.  Sometimes I’ll begin cooking a yummy dinner for that night, and sometimes not.  Consistency compounds.  So far this month, I’ve gained thirty hours of quiet, just by doing this exercise.  I know it’s setting me up for success in other areas, because now I won’t be waking up early to exercise, I’ll just be adding exercise to my already-formed habit of waking up early!

Remember, whatever you’re willing to put up with will determine the future of your life.

I just want to see the beautiful.  Almost five months ago we ripped out our bathroom.  Mold was everywhere, our sink was crooked, water puddled into the corners, there was a two-inch gap between the sink and the wall which welcomed every dust bunny and their friends, plus every toothbrush, with no intention of us ever finding them again.  We would scrub it only to feel like it was just as dirty.

So, during the hot summer months, out it came.

It was supposed to be finished by now, but we ran into a few snags in the demolition when we discovered saggy beams in the floor.  Saggy beams are a non-negotiable repair,  so that bumped our entire project out even further.  It also turned into a half kitchen demolition in order to get to the beams which happened to be above the kitchen.

This led to ripping out the wall between our dining room and kitchen, because we had to get to the ceiling.

It felt like a domino demolition.  One thing leading to another, until it seemed like maybe the entire house would fall down.  No fear of that happening, although the remaining kitchen cabinets are falling off the walls now.

So, our two-month bathroom renovation has turned into a much larger kitchen/dining room/bathroom demolition and renovation.  We hit an all-time low this week in the emotions when we came home to the Sahara desert.  The masons had to grind away all the old mortar between the bricks and repoint them.  We weren’t expecting that much dust to cover our house.  We drew faces on the counter tops with our fingers and spent a good six hours cleaning every marker, every pencil, every book, every pot and every pan which were all layered with different degrees of red brick dust.  The bathroom was finished first, then downstairs the next day.  Here is the upstairs before they repointed it.
Downstairs, much beauty has come after much dust.  You can see where there will be cabinets on the kitchen wall, where it isn’t repointed.  That will be our coffee/tea bar and probably one of the things I’m most excited about in our new kitchen!  The brick is gorgeous, and there is much hope for what is to come!

Upstairs, the brick is finished, radiant heat is under the floor, the waterproofing is in the shower and the floor tile is going down today. I’m super proud of the kids for putting up with a lot of craziness, mess, chaos, and more during this entire process.

They say joy is in the journey, not just the destination.  So as much as I am busting to see the end, I’m also determined to see the beauty through the in-between.

Do you know what it’s like to live with a fairy?  Let me tell you, it’s amazing.  Elsie is in to videoing the process of cleaning up a room or space.  Which, of course, requires a mess to tidy.  Which, thankfully, our family of eight can provide in abundance.  I have come home from errands to a vacuumed bedroom, a made bed, fluffed cushions, a wiped down kitchen, a picked up laundry room.  The only stuff she leaves behind is fairy dust, which I can deal with just fine.
Betty is currently into sewing.  There are currently 6 very large pillow-looking objects wrapped under the tree.  She requested a LOT of stuffing from the store and the sewing machine has been whirring.  The other night she was mending Jack’s sweat pants.  Whenever anyone breathes any words remotely close to: “There’s a hole in this…” or “My shirt ripped…” a quiet hand literally snags the object in mourning and brings it back with a fresh mending job.

Harry is talking.  Two to four word sentences that make me laugh and swell with awe all at the same time.  He adores oats and frozen blueberries for breakfast every day.  We have what we call the “toddler bowl of apples” when it’s left at Harry height: each apple has one or two bites out of it.  It’s the perfect snack!  He loves to help me do laundry by going inside the washer or dryer after the clothes are removed and then play hide-and-seek inside the huge pile of clean clothes.  He doesn’t like it when I sing, but adores getting horsey rides from Nadine or being tossed in the air by Elijah.  He loves “The Umbrella” book and calls it “Hola”, because the tree frog says “Hola” at the beginning of the book.  He adores being outside and taking car rides.  Sometimes when I get home after a short errand he will say, “Mama!  GO!” because he wants to keep driving!  That’s my boy!

Jack is back to wrestling full time.  He is tough and getting stronger every year.  His coach is pretty cool too.  In fact, I have a HUGE thing for his coach.  Yep, Matthew is the official head coach of the Coatesville middle school.  It’s something he loves to do.  Jack also has done a terrific job with his tutoring this year.  He is more confident reading and spelling, and now Nadine is doing it with him as well!

Nadine had a rough start to the school year.  She was diagnosed with Mono, and after a few weeks of exhaustion and sickness, she is doing so much better!  A little piece of paper has made her very excited left her parents blinking, wondering how it’s scientifically possible for sixteen years to go so quickly.  Who knew permits could cause grey hair?  She also had to have a CT scan done of her sinuses which revealed a very large polyp on the one side.  She is having surgery for that at the end of January.  Despite the many trials she has endured, she is always smiling and such an encouragement!

Elijah is an incredible young man.  He is almost as tall as Matthew, which has led to some funny laundry mishaps between the two of them.  We might have to start labeling their clothes like you do for camp, so Matthew’s jeans don’t keep disappearing.  He learned how to fix cracked iPhone and iPad screens, which is a very handy skill these days.  He is my go-to chef when I’m running around late and supper still has to be made.  It is an incredible phase of life to have older kids who love to pump gas, can make yummy dinners and manage the house!

We had a very challenging week this month after a routine surgery for Matthew.  He had the same procedure done in January, which was to open his airway even more and remove some scar tissue from the subglottic region of his throat.  The surgery went very well.  He was awake for it, which is just as awkward and awful as it sounds.  But he did well and felt great that day and the next. 
The third day, however, he woke up and tried to cough, but nothing happened.  He was unable to get very much air when he tried to breath.  The noise he made when he tried to cough made me jump up from where I was serenely reading in the living room.  He was standing in the hallway and barely could talk, but the words, “Call an ambulance,” made my hands start to shake.  I had my phone in my pocket and quickly dialed 911.  Six minutes later the EMT’s arrived and got him into the ambulance.  Thankfully, the little girls had spent the night at grandma’s so they weren’t home.  Harry was happily watching Peppa Pig and barely noticed the slew of strange people come in and out of the house.  Nadine woke up when she heard me on the phone with the dispatcher, and both her and Elijah were incredibly strong through the whole ordeal.  Jack woke up after we left.

I went along for the ride, in my pajamas, with supper stains down the front of my sweatshirt.  It’s crazy how those things don’t matter when life feels tottering.  Nadine sent me a picture of the sign I had made the night before: All your hopes and fears are met in Him tonight.

About ten minutes after Matthew received a cool mist nebulizer treatment, he began to perk up and was able to talk and cough again.  After a lot of tests and scans, nothing showed up abnormal.  As best as we can figure, since we forgot to run our humidifier, the dry air caused the scabbing from the surgery to crust over in such a way which blocked his airway just enough to make it very scary.  We both have had a few emotional days in the last two weeks since it happened.  So grateful his attempts to “stumble into heaven” as he put it, were not successful.  God has more for him to do here yet!

I’m so grateful for the opportunity we had to take a cruise in the Caribbean in October.  It was incredible to earn it through the company I work for, and bless Matthew in this way!  I’ve always dreamed of being the one to treat him to something special like this, and was so enriching for our marriage!  The Caribbean will always hold a special place in our hearts.

The peaches tasted like candy, and that was the best part of my day.

It’s ten o’clock at night.  My intention of spending an hour or two at my desk writing went out the window as soon as I scooped Harry up this morning.  Burning hot, he was never more than a few inches from my arms.  I definitely feel the drain of nursing fevers for two days in a row.  I took out some of my frustration on the weeds which threaten to topple over our fence.  Frustration at sickness.  At fights.  At more dirty dishes than I thought were possible even for a family of eight.  How many cups does one need in one day, anyway?  Frustrated at the fortieth millioneth towel on the floor.  I seriously just washed, dried, folded AND put away every single one of them three days ago.  And not everyone even showered!  How is that mathematically possible?

During Harry’s nap time I took a little drive to pick up a grill for Matthew’s father’s day present.  Ironically, I drove right past the place where I met Matthew for the very first time.  He was only fifteen.  The following summer was when I truly noticed him and fell in love forever.  This literal drive down memory lane soothed my ruffled feelings from the day.

When I got home, Harry was awake and still fevered.  He had a cooling bath and more frozen blueberries.  He kept drinking and peeing, so I knew he was going to be okay.  As the afternoon wore on, he perked up a little bit.  This is when I started to pull weeds.  I paused from weeding to start the hamburgers and light the new-to-us grill.  Not long after that is when Harry started to melt down from exhaustion.  After another cool bath and some snuggles, he went straight to bed.  I got back to the hamburgers and chicken grilling and had plates all made when the boys got home from riding bikes with their friends all afternoon.  It was obvious their friends were staying.  I had made exactly enough for all of us and lunch for tomorrow.  So I was feeling a bit stingy.  Nadine, in her generous and gracious spirit asked if she could make a plate of food for them.  “I can cut them some peaches, Mom!”  We had both had a taste of their delectable goodness.  There was a part of my heart which rebelled at sharing them.  There is a deep-rooted scarcity mindset which God is gently pulling out of my heart.  I think it’s gone, but then it pops up again.  The thought of, “this is my last peach,” or, “this is the last piece of chicken,” causes me to hoard and save it until sometimes it’s too late and rots in the fridge.  My children and husband are so kind to remind me to enjoy things now.  Share.  Give.  Enjoy.

She cut the peach into small slices and spread them beautifully onto a plate.  She set it in front of the boys and they looked at the slices.  “Is that an apple?”  We told them it was a peach.  “A peach!” he exclaimed excitedly.  “I’ve never had a peach before!”  And I could have wept.  All this fuss in my heart and mind almost stole away a beautiful moment.  A gift.  The gift of watching someone, ten years old, enjoy the taste of their first peach.