We had no idea when we ripped out our bathroom how long the process from start to finish would be.  I’m not pregnant, but it’s been a pregnancy.  We’ve had hospital visits, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 8 birthdays, 1 dog, and an entire schoolyear in the span of time we haven’t had a shower.  We joked the entire school year about how we would look back on this as the “year without a shower”, never anticipating how true that would be.  Yet, here we are.  Harry no longer fits in the kitchen sink as he did when we first began.  We joined the YMCA and shower over there ninety-five percent of the time.  The other five percent of the time we are blessed by our neighbor and my parents letting us use their shower.  We’ve adapted, as anyone does during challenging circumstances.  Hard things are just that, and they always hold the opportunity for growth if we let them. Speaking of challenging, last month Matthew completed a dream he’s had for a long time.  It’s not a new dream or the first time he’s accomplished it.  But it is the first time since his windpipe surgeries which held a lot of significance for us both.  He completed a 50-mile ultramarathon trail run over his 37th birthday.  It was beautiful and excruciatingly painful and exhilarating all at the same time.  At mile 48 it was two o’clock in the morning, 37 degrees outside, pitch black, and he warmed up in my sleeping bag for an hour or so.  I woke him up and told him he had to go finish. Even though we both wanted to find a hot shower and call it done, when you’ve come this far you don’t do it just to say you almost finished.  He completed the last grueling miles and the next morning we slept in the van until we found a café which was open.  It’s experiences like this which teach us a lot about ourselves.  Again, don’t run away from difficulties.

Matthew’s business has grown during these months as well, and we continue to pound out debt like the very unwelcome guest it has been.  Our bathroom renovation has been running parallel to our pace of cashflow and debt payoff.  Envisioning us screaming: “We’re debt free!!!!!!” keeps me from pouting about the lack of a shower.  This has been a character-refining year for us all.  Don’t shy from the hard stuff.

Nadine just got a job working at our favorite coffee shop.  It’s so cute to see her sweet curly head behind the counter.  She babysits a lot, does horseback riding and interns at a veterinary clinic once a week.  What an incredible experience it’s all been for her!  She isn’t driving yet with a license, but has been practicing with her permit.  This stage of letting go is both exhilarating and terrifying.

Elijah is into 3D designing and printing.  He also has taken off quite literally since he enrolled in flight school.  A few times a month he hits the skies in a Cessna while his mama cranes her neck to watch him make 45 degree bank turns and squeal when he lands on the ground again.  I usually drive to the end of the runway and stand across the street as he comes in for a landing.

Jack officially made our teenager count now half and half.  He wrestles twice a week and is a ninja warrior on the down days.  The other day he took a picture of a leaf.  Matthew was holding his phone looking at the photo of Jack holding the leaf and told me to take a look.  Never have I seen two identical thumbs quite like theirs:This is basically how each day keeps marching along: I’m rocking them in their bassinet at night and in the morning their hands are bigger than mine.  Jack’s tulips always make me smile and signal the new season of spring.  Matthew’s mom gifted them to me when he was a baby and I dug them out of our garden in our old house in November, guessing as to their whereabouts and transplanting the bulbs.  Now they bloom on his birthday week every year and make me smile.  He loves orange and being home.

Wherever Elsie goes, music is close at hand.  She writes songs and knows every song she’s ever listened to.  She started her own cleaning channel.  There is constant unending opportunity to practice her love of cleaning in our house.  She brings so much order to our home.  Last week we had the chance to sneak out of the house together and get her some much-needed new outfits, because the phenomenon of growing up isn’t escaping any of our kids.  I love these outings to listen to their dreams and concerns and spend time laughing together and drinking coffee.  She’s a blessing!

Betty dreamed of ballet for so many years, and to watch her dream coming true is so special.  She brings an incredible gift of wit and fire to every situation.  When you’re in doubt what the next best thing is to do, Betty will tell you.  When you’re unsure if you should stay home or go work out at the gym, she will get your butt in gear and outrun you at the gym.  She loves to dance, and teaching Matthew some of her moves is probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time.

Harry- it’s best when you say his name three times in a row.  Harry, Harry, Harry.  Every night it is as if a tornado has settled and my whole body relaxes a bit easier.  So much imagination, activity, disaster and mess all rolled into the cutest blue eyes and perpetually dirty face.  We have a hole in our kitchen floor right now where the heating vent used to be.  It is covered by a piece of wood, which he figured out how to move.  On the daily, we are missing various things from kitchen utensils to Moe’s water bowl.  The haul we’ve retrieved from the vent and the basement floor is impressive.  From shoes and trucks to dry shampoo and oranges.  Harry.  He loves dinosaurs and specific shirts.  He has thoughts about everything and loves to drive in the van.  Often if it’s a quick errand, dropping Nadine off at work or running to the post office, when we get home he starts to cry and wants to GO somewhere.  He’s a doer and a worker and appreciates flowers.

I resisted the idea of having a dog for so long.  Now I’m not quite sure how we managed without him.  He is basically my shadow.  If I go to the bathroom, he sits outside the door.  If I go to my room, he’s there.  If I cook, he lies on the kitchen floor at my feet.  If I’m on the couch, he snuggles next to me.  If I get home from somewhere and he didn’t come with me, he will run out to the van and sit in the front seat next to me, ready to go.  Moe made me a dog person, and it’s a wild thing when your heart expands just a little more.  Turns out the space was there all along.

I spent the entire month of April plagued with poison ivy.  I’ll spare you the pictures, but it was not fun.  Despite the craziness, we managed to finish school this week.  The kids have grown so much in their character