Month: April 2013

Up-Cycling My Day

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I took a big girl pill yesterday and cleaned. my. room.  When I say clean, what I also mean is… you guessed is… rearrange!  As I was working in the kitchen last night I grinned when Matthew yelled down the stairs to me, You’re crazy!  Elijah, always overhearing things said,  Mom?  Did Dad just say you’re crazy?  Yes, son, he did.  That is how I clean.  I must move things.  I even got brave and threw away half of my old cassette tapes.  What are those, you ask?  Take a look see:

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When I was just a bit older than my daughter, I used to record Odyssey episodes from the radio onto cassettes.  Then I labeled them, lined them up in order and made a spread sheet of my collection.  Hand-written, of course.  See, there is a bit of organization deep within me somewhere that hasn’t been zapped by five child-births and the accumulation of clothing, food, and dishes we now produce each day.  I’m always on a quest for better organization, more purging, and up-cycling whatever has lived out its original purpose.

I went to bed on a sort of cleaning high.  Then, this morning started off with crying and fighting and pee on the floor.  My clean room was quickly forgotten and I stormed around like an angry elephant.  My tea was warmed up too many times.  I got INTERRUPTED while I tried to read my Bible.  Imagine.  Then before you know it, the mayhem began again at lunchtime.  But tucked in these harrowed time slots are moments of joy and beauty within the mess.  Jack read me an entire book.  This is huge.  So proud of him!

While someone annoyed someone else, I kept my voice down, sat the culprit on the step, then we calmly discussed how the situation could have been handled better.  This too is huge.  Inside I’m a door-slammer and a foot-stomper, so when the outside stays calm, this is a huge victory that I praise God for strengthening me to do!

Betty, though potty-trained for a few months now, had been pooping in her pants a lot.  The past few days it’s gone into the potty, not the panties, and she chatters about the treat she will get after she’s done.  Two chocolate chips were never better earned!  Saving wipes and mommy’s sanity is indeed something to celebrate!

So, though every moment is to be celebrated because we’re alive to breathe it, we often don’t.  I think about Boston, and how a few runners were just about to the finish line, on the biggest high of their day, when everything erupted into chaos and horror.  Life does that to us.  We don’t know what our next moment will bring.  We can not act surprised, though when things get dirty and horrible and messed up.  In this life, you will have trouble.  But take heart, I have overcome the world!  (John 16:33)  This means that trouble is guaranteed.  But something else is for certain as well: Jesus has overcome the world by His death on the cross!  He has… it’s already done.  Since it’s a finished work, we don’t have to wallow in the darkness, sorrow, and disappointment that comes our way.  He is there to calm our voices, steady our minds, and lighten our hearts.

When a day is all wrong and we want a new one, we have to remember we’re only given today.  Through Christ, we can have courage and victory, because He already has.

Life Unedited

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Today as I went to make our bed, I turned down the sheets to discover a small baby doll with lots of purple corn chips scattered around her.  She lay quietly in the sheets and I could tell she didn’t want anyone to know about the chips.  I had to choose a smile over a bubbling up annoyance.  I wonder what was going through that little mind while they ate chips in Daddy & Mommy’s bed.  I also wonder what my reaction would have been had I climbed into bed tonight in the dark and felt those things crunch beneath me.  I’d say their pain level upon contact with skin is akin to legos.

Elsie learned how to ride a two-wheeler all by herself this weekend.  One push, and she was off.  Someone generously gave her their old hand-me-down which fits her perfectly, and now she is cruising around the block like she’s always known how.  In a dress, no less.
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She also has her first loose tooth.  She is full of her typical, inquisitive conversation.  Today she chattered with me the entire time I buried 78 bricks around our side garden.  Or it might have been 104.  Or 42.  The number kept changing as she kept count.  I didn’t keep track of her questions and observations because my hands were covered in dirt and couldn’t write anything down, but I know I chuckled a lot.
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Spaghetti and Daddy rhyme when they come out of Betty’s mouth.  Both bring excitement.  Other things make her excited too.  Playing hide-and-seek… which by the way happens in her world whenever she sees anyone.  She will almost always yell, Got you! whenever someone walks into a room.  She is learning the fine art of not always getting what she wants.  I think we all deal with disappointment each day, but Betty likes to show it in full: crocodile tears and all.  Either that, or The Slanted Eyes Look.  Actually, as I type this paragraph (this afternoon) the world is crumbling at the fact she can. not. have. a. banana. right. now.
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Our egg carton seedlings are growing well, and we’ve been making all sorts of fun things outside in the garden.  Once things start to grow, I’ll put some before and after photos!  Stay tuned for June and July garden pictures!   Right now the tulips are blooming.  Some unedited shots of those beauties:
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One of our many garden projects includes vertical gardens!  Matthew created some fabulous palette garden beds and they’re in the midst of getting filled with dirt and seeds.  Soon we’ll be making some honeymoon salad: lettuce alone.
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Speaking of being alone, that doesn’t happen very often around here.  I even caught myself yelling from the shower today, You don’t need me!  If there isn’t blood, you don’t need me!  Talk to me after I get out of the shower!  No joke, the aforementioned caller hadn’t needed me for the previous hour.  It was only the moment the warm water hit my aching head that the urgency struck them like a bad bladder.  Nope.  Didn’t need me.  I have actual footage I took of Betty sliding things under the bathroom door, saying, Mommy… Mommy… Mommy… while I tried to get five minutes peace.

Matthew also chopped down three trees that were overtaking the electrical wires, and he will be building a shed to house the bikes and mower and outside toys.  The same day our trampoline ripped from side to side.  Twenty-four hours later, our Heavenly Father, who knows just how much our kids live and breathe on our trampoline, replaced it for free tonight!  It’s even bigger and nicer than our old one.  He’s a wonderful Dad, who knows our desires and loves to give us good gifts.
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When the boys were playing hockey last week I ran out on the rink to take pictures.  Elijah said, There’s a fan on the court… She’s a big fan of Matthew Weldon.  You got that right, buddy!  The other night we ate our supper after the kids went to bed, outside in front of the fire-pit.  I am a really big fan of him.
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On Sunday, Jack turned seven!  What a hunk of love.
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He built the Eiffel Tower all by himself.  All day today he had the perfect tuft of bed head going on, making me smile.  He is a conscientious little guy who likes to pack his own bag, make things straight, and color inside the lines.  He loves hard and deeply.  His heart aches for those who are sick.  He is loyal, seeks justice, and loves gifts.  His metabolism is always burning full steam ahead and he eats more apples and carrots in one day than most people do in one week.  He longs for Heaven.  We love you, Jack!
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It’s A Colorful One

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When trampolines come back into daily play, and the fridge once again empties without notice, it is a sure sign everyone is well again.  I am so thankful! DSC_8433-001

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I’m not sure everyone else is glad to be back into full-time schoolwork again, but they’ve been doing well.  It’s fun to catch them having fun while doing school. DSC_8640-001
Last Sunday we spent the day with Matt’s family.  The kids were well-entertained (maybe a bit too much so) with ginormous lollipops from a friend’s wedding.  After much licking, Elsie stuck out her tongue and said, Dad, look at my tongue!  It’s a colorful one, isn’t it?
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Tucked inside my week are always many excitements, unplanned occurrences, etc.  One such event involved smelling smoke from upstairs.  My internal Mommy smoke-detector went off and I ran downstairs to investigate.  An unnamed culprit had burned some papers inside the recycling bin.  Rightly scared, they took it outside to extinguish it better without further smokeage.  Fortunately no harm was done.  Unfortunately for them, Mom’s nose never lies.

We have hit the “When-it-gets-quiet-you’d-better-go-check” stage again.  This time it is with little Betty.  Powder all over her room.  Markers all over her body.  Oats all over the floor.  Scissors in hand.  It’s all or nothing, baby.  She wears her little pink flip flops backwards.  She works hard in the garden.  In addition to the messes and disasters throughout each day, another thing is for certain: at night, all is at rest, they are still, and we relish the gift of sleep.  The only thing they’re chasing are their dreams.

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The roller skates have come out in full force along with the crocuses and tulips.
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It’s hard to believe this little guy will be seven years old in three days!
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Sometimes when the snot is running, the tempers are ranting, the fridge is emptying, and the feet are stomping, I forget to breath.  Yet when those little arms squeeze my neck and those eyes look up at me with a grin, the snot and mess fades away.  In the really challenging moments, they need love.  Sometimes love is jumping on the trampoline until your hair stands on end.  Sometimes it looks like pancakes made from scratch.  Sometimes it means lying next to them way past their bedtime and reading one more book.  Sometimes it’s a sticky lollipop… a really big colorful one.

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The Dog Days Are Over

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Too bad those days are over,  Jack remarked to me, after remembering how Betty used to crawl.One thing is for certain: it is not too bad the sick days are coming to a close.  This week, all I felt like I did was put straws of liquid into my children’s mouths and wash soiled laundry.  But that meant no one died of dehydration (which happens every day around the world) and no one had to sleep in their own waste (which also happens every day around the world).  What a privilege to give my children that gift.

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Some of the first ones to get well.

Now, unfortunately, Matthew is plagued by the B-U-G and has had seventeen hours of sleep today so far.

Even though I experienced only 5 days of quarantine, I got a real taste of separation.  Away from society, fun, and spontaneity, I felt really cut off from life.

It reminded me of a story.  Every day, we sing a little song with Betty called “Ten Men”.  It tells the story of  ten lepers whom Jesus healed.  They all got excited, and they all ran away!  [we dance our hands around and then hide them behind our back]  Except for one man… [we hold up our pointer finger]  HE came back and said, “Thank you, thank you, Jesus.”  I felt a teeny tiny bit like those lepers may have felt.  Blocked from society, unclean, everyone keeping their distance.  It’s rough!  I can’t imagine what it must have been like for years and years to be in such isolated loneliness.

It’s so interesting that Jesus heals all ten, even though only one was grateful to Him about it.  I would guess they felt grateful, but they didn’t glorify God or even thank Him for healing them.  We’re like that a lot.  The percentage of things we thank God for probably equals the ten percent of lepers that thanked Him for their healing.  Every day He does miracles and wonders without any thanks from us to Him.

We might not suffer from leprosy of the skin, but we all suffer from what God calls leprosy of the heart.  Another word for it is sin.  It’s incurable without His touch.  It separates us from God’s love, God’s forgiveness, and His abundant life.  It’s lonely business being sick.  Yet we’re fooled into thinking that the loneliness we feel deep inside our gut is a lack of something we can do to fill.  A lie is whispered into every heart that beats: This [fill in the blank] will satisfy your loneliness.  But we don’t realize the very One we’re separated from, is the One for whom we’re longing.  We’re bombarded with noise and temporary satisfaction every single day.  It’s so loud, we can’t hear the feet of Jesus walking past us, waiting for us to cry out to Him.  See, He made Himself available to those men…  He came and preached peace to you who were far off.  They were distant, knew their condition, and cried out for mercy.  But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

It wasn’t anything they did.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.  When the one leper turned around, he fell on his face before Jesus and thanked Him.

That’s all it takes to go from being a leper to being whole.  From loneliness to complete satisfaction.  From sinner to saint.  From eternal death to eternal life.  One thing is for certain: when we finally see Jesus face to face, we will never say about our time here on earth: Too bad those days are over.

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[Bible excerpts are found in Ephesians chapter 2]

Four Days in Ward 408

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The fact that I’ve warmed up my tea six times in the past four hours is not a good sign.  Neither are the blankets, pillows and bowls scattered over the living room floor.  Since Monday at 1AM we’ve had three to five kids sick: blazing both ends, fevers and weakness.  Right now the count is at five.  I’ve never experienced this in my ten years of mommy-hood.  Usually one or two at a time, but never all at once and in such an acute, long drawn out fashion.  I have been keeping it together pretty well.  Until around 10:45, when I realized it is Thursday.  Thursday over here means I better not forget to move the van to the other side of the street, or else our city gets an extra Andrew Jackson in their bank account.  Ugh.  When I ran outside and saw the unhappy yellow slip on my windshield, I burst into tears, sobbing into the steering wheel.  Don’t they know I have sick kids and can’t think straight??!!  I yelled.  Nope.  No, they don’t.  But my wonderful Heavenly Father does.

He is right here.
But I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  Psalm 73:23

He loves them more than I do.  If I was living when Jesus was on this earth, I would have been one of those parents who brought their babies to Him, hoping He would touch them.  Luke 18:15-17

He is the Healer.
The Lord supports him on his sickbed; you completely heal him from his illness.  Psalm 41:3

He is my strength when I can’t do it anymore.
Assure me with these words: “I am your deliverer!”  Psalm 35:3
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you— yes, I help you— yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand!  Isaiah 41:10

So, one step at a time, we get through this trial.  There have been so many At Least moments this week.  At least I can be home and am not sick and can take care of them.  At least we have a working washing machine and beautiful sunny days to hang up wash on the clothes line.  At least we have water.  At least we are usually healthy!  God IS good, even when circumstances are horrible.  Just because we’re sick and tired doesn’t mean He took a vacation.  Just because I feel worn out, doesn’t mean He is.  He actually says that is when His strength is made perfect.  Not when everything is hunky dory and the sun is shining.  Nope.  His strength is perfect when we’re at our weakest, darkest, most vulnerable points in life.  That’s when His grace, strength, and glory really shine.

You know, this girl right here can’t handle another day in the hospital ward of my living room.  But because I have to, I’m forced to abandon my own strength and say it’s ALL Christ and NONE of me.   Hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.  Philippians 4:13

Time for a fresh cup of tea.

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