Neigh-deen The Horse Whisperer

My horse girl had her dream-come-true birthday when she participated in her first horse show.  It’s been a little late in coming, but here are the pictures of our beautiful 11-year-old girl doing what she loves best!

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Those chocolate eyes do a much better job of melting than intimidating.

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The boys found a friend who shares Elijah’s birthday.  They had fun playing together and watched Nadine occasionally.

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Nadine won seven ribbons, including 2nd place for jumping!  She is so graceful on a horse!

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As her brother likes to say, You and Daddy named her neeeeigh-deen because she loves horses!  Well, that is not actually the reason, but it’s a fun play on words!  Way to go, baby girl!

 

Veggie Ice-Cream

Some days what is true just doesn’t match up with what I’m feeling.  For instance: I am so in love with my children, and think they are the best.  However, sometimes circumstances cause something inside me to go “snap!”  Like when a voice goes above a certain decibel, or when someone decides to shoot a nerf bullet at someone else’s eye right at bedtime.  I don’t feel the love when someone leaves the freezer just slightly open right before we head out the door, and I find out a few hours later.  My feelings are pretty much the opposite of warm and fuzzy when puddles of special ice-cream have melted into the peas and corn.  My feelings are a simmering pot of hot water when the dairy/veggie mush leads to an entire deep cleaning of the refrigerator and freezer.  I am thankful I can go grocery shopping.  But sometimes dragging five kids in the rain to my least favorite store makes my blood start a slow and steady boil.  I have never had to do this before, but when one of my unnamed children decided to throw their flip-flop as high as they could in the middle of aisle seven, this mama had to climb the shelves like a ladder and pull it out from between the bags of flour on the top shelf.  Excuse me if I step on your groceries.

I love being a mom, but there are times I don’t feel it.

The truth is, I am so incredibly thankful for our home.  Yet sometimes my emotions start dictating thoughts of discontent over the color of my walls or the state of my sofa.  Right now, our laundry room is being refinished.  The floor is gorgeous.  Soon the rest will be as well.
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Until it is finished, I am living out the book, “It Could Always Be Worse”.  If I thought my kitchen felt tight or crowded, a good solution is to bring the washer, dryer, linens, and a dresser in to join the chaos.  Now I am cooking and canning while maneuvering around a dresser.  I plop the kids wherever there is a clean corner of the table, which juts out into the middle of the kitchen.  I have to crawl under the table to fetch the parchment paper or griddle.  The laundry is quickly piling up, because when there is an average of ten dirty outfits a day (factoring in boys), going on a week without a washer, works out to be about seventy outfits needing to be laundered.  It could always be worse.
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So since the kitchen is a mess, we celebrated Nadine’s birthday at Hibachi.  Their faces say it all:
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I am so thankful truth is not based on feelings.  I’m also thankful for rescued flip-flops, clean freezers, and laundry-free days.

Eleven Years Ago, I Thought I’d Never Sleep Again

Eleven years ago today, was my “due date” for our first baby.  I often joke about what my Facebook status would have been if it had been invented “back then”.  I can hardly believe I have things to write about which even qualify for the statement of “back then”.  It would probably have said something like: “Walked five miles to the Weldon’s with Matthew today to try to get this baby to come”.  Or, “Mowed the grass on the riding mower at my parents today to try to get this baby to come.”  Or, “Jumped on the trampoline today to try to get this baby to come.”  You get the picture.  I have a pretty hard time remembering what life was like with just Matthew and I in our little Philadelphia apartment.  I have bits and pieces of memories, like how I vacuumed both of its 10-ft square rooms at least twice a day.  Or how I excitedly pored over cookbooks and managed to cook for an army when it was just the two of us (a trait inherited from my mother).  Or how I took walks to counteract all the snickers bars I ate during my pregnancy, which began exactly day one of our marriage.  I remember trying to garden in our one-foot by three-foot sliver of hard, rocky soil, then calling it quits that summer.  I remember the nasty black and yellow bathroom which reminded me of a bumble bee, and I still wonder why I registered for towels to match THAT bathroom, even though I really actually preferred the color green for my towels.  I remember painstakingly dolling up the closet in the living room and transforming it into an itty bitty bassinet-sized nursery.  I remember folding little girl clothes and wondering how it was possible that the kicking inside my belly was real and I wasn’t playing dolls anymore.  I remember thinking babyhood would never end and I would never sleep again.

Then this weekend I pulled a 40-hr shift as mama/birth doula.  It was an unbelievable experience, as always.  Moms never cease to amaze me with their tenacity and determination to bring their babies into this world.  When, after hours upon hours of exhausting work, she looked at her husband and with renewed strength said, I can do this, I got shivers up and down my spine.  She was doing exactly what she was created to do, and as worn out as she was, the love in her eyes for her baby girl yet unseen was unmistakable.  God’s divine hand is in that moment in such a palpable way.  He extends His strength to the mother when there is none left of her own, and then breathes breath into a newborn’s lungs.  When you get to stand in the presence of a miracle, you are always changed.

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I drove home, chatting with Matthew to stay awake and somewhere during our conversation realized I was driving the opposite direction I should be.  If you know me,  you know I never get lost, I have an internal compass inside my head (inherited from my dad), and have driven the roads of Chester County for at least fourteen years.  To be driving East when I should be driving West was absolutely hilarious and bizarre and so I pulled into a store for some juice.  I got home, melted into the arms of my love for a big, strong hug, showered, and collapsed into bed, asleep in about one minute.

Eleven years ago I thought I’d never sleep again.  This morning, around ten, a few curious children wandered into my room to make sure mommy was actually here.  That little girl who decided to wait five more days to enter this world, walked gracefully into our room.  Her curls go past her shoulders now.  Her height reaches my own, if not slightly surpasses it.  She was wearing a shirt with a horse on it, which describes her pretty well.  She informed me how everyone had either read something for school or done their math, told me what she wrote on the chalkboard, and asked if she could get me anything.  I never thought I’d sleep again, but now I get served breakfast in bed.

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I am so excited to celebrate this girl’s eleventh birthday on Saturday.  She is something special, and I am privileged to have a daughter like her.

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Eyes Open To Beautiful

Things I’ve been loving about our children:

When Jack wraps his arms around me just because.  When he tells stories, his voice gets deeper and he sounds like a little man weaving a tale of seriousness.  I love that he is brave enough and has the imagination wide enough to wear a cowboy hat for an entire day all throughout the city of Philadelphia.  2013-09-27 16.42.01

I love how his trusty sidekick wears a pink cast and also a swell hat.  I also love that by the time we got home, he had transformed into “Bill” and talked in a cowboy accent and enjoyed his “cowboy soup” for supper.
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I love how they make celebrities out of ordinary people.  Like the other day when Jack and Elsie took their mini white erase boards to our next-door neighbor and asked him to please sign his name.  They got so excited when he did so, and didn’t erase their boards for the rest of the day.

Betty is so verbal and polite.  On Friday we went with some friends on the train to the Franklin Institute.  When we got off the train, she said, Thank you for the train, Mommy!  After walking through the giant heart, she ran up to me and said, That was amazing!  My heart is amazing!  Unbelievable.DSC_4693-001

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Jack discovering how polymers work… relieved when the cup of water did NOT dump onto his head!2013-09-26
Nadine did a great job blowing up a balloon!

At the end of the extremely fun day, things melted down on the train ride home.  My friend got this great picture of how things REALLY looked those last few minutes.  Tired mommies, tired kiddos.
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The next morning Betty’s sweet thankful heart was back again after a good night’s rest and she told me:  Thank you for the eggs and bacon, Mommy.  I’m going to wash my hands.  I’m going to do it myself.    And proceeded to do so.  She is somewhat of a self-acclaimed vegetarian, but she loves bacon!

A couple of weeks of school have finished and I’m thrilled they are still smiling!  We even have ninjas who sometimes attend.  Elsie wrote everything on her board all by herself.  The last line is my favorite, translated: I love God as well.
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My fifth student helped me chop a ton of peppers to freeze for the winter.  Sometimes she can be very serious about her work, but she is always a really cute and helpful chef!
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There are always things I am learning and loving about our children.  I always want my eyes to be wide open to the beautiful, amongst the mess and flurry that is life.  

Leaning on Gossamer

This little guy freaked me out a bit, but I was brave and got close enough to shoot his picture anyway.  He has woven an amazing web on our front porch which took hours of his time.  Yet, in one swipe, it can all be destroyed.

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What they trust in is fragile;
    what they rely on is a spider’s web.  Job 8:14
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Too often we put our hope in things which can get swept away in an instant.  Our money, our leaders, our friends, our spouse, our kids, our schools… ourselves.  There is only one person on Whom our hope will stand firm, and that is Jesus Christ.

When our focus strays, we’re on shaky ground.  We’re grasping onto no more than gossamer: fragile, insubstantial nothingness.  It may look beautiful.  It may even have taken hours upon hours to perfect.  Then comes trouble to test where our hope stands.  Whatever our hope is in quickly becomes apparent by whether we fall flat on our faces or are left standing strong in God’s power.  When our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus… when we lean wholly on Jesus’ Name, then we have solid ground beneath our feet.

Tonight our city has hit the map, in not so good of a way.  I am reminded of these verses which never grow old:

Don’t worry about the wicked
or envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away.
Like spring flowers, they soon wither.
Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.
Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.
For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.

(Psalm 37:1-9)

Gossamer will never hold us.  Only Jesus can.

Mangoes, Heartbeats, & IV’s

School is always in session, even when it’s not.  Take for instance last night when Elsie looked at me while drinking from a little milk container, straw stuck in her mouth while she talked:  Mom?  Am I drinking a cow’s pee?  I then had to explain the anatomy of a cow.  Fun stuff, really.

We almost managed to avoid visiting any doctors for an entire week.  My wrist has been acting up (has a lot in the past) and I thought it was finally time to get an x-ray.  At the urgent care, I was told it was nothing but a ganglion cyst.  Ganglion is one of those words I really don’t like saying.  I don’t mind the word “gang”, it’s kind of cool-sounding, really.  A lion is so strong and majestic.  Put them together, and ganglion is just plain awful.  It feels dreadful too.  Thankfully I didn’t need an x-ray, but Elsie is bummed we won’t have matching casts.  I’m amazed at how she has had zero complaints about her pink cast.  She rides her bike, jumps on the trampoline, plays on the playground, and has a personal assault weapon on her at all times.  2013-09-23 16.13.46
We had a fun time with Matthew’s family last night.  Jack learned how to use chopsticks.  He loves China, including its food.  Notice the concentration:
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This week, Matthew was able to bring Elijah to work with him one day.  He had an excellent report from the boss, and was a big help!
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Besides being good with the drill, he is also a handy taste-tester.  What’s an African girl to do when she has a few mangoes on her hands?  Make mango sauce, of course!  That, right there, is a small taste of my childhood in a bowl.  I’m always happy when I can share a piece of Africa with my kids on this side of the planet.
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Nadine’s  love tank is always full whenever she can hold a heartbeat with fur on it.
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She has also been incredibly helpful watching Betty each day for slots of time so I can write, cook, and do school with the short crowd.
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Today marks the second and last Rituxan treatment for Matthew.  Since I couldn’t be with him, I bugged him for pictures.   I know he wouldn’t post them himself… but… I would, because I love him so very much!  His voice is still weak, and sometimes he still is a bit tight, but he “feels” good.  We continue to pray for strength and healing!  I am so incredibly thankful for a man who never sits around (except if there’s an IV pumping through him!) and is never lazy.  He simply follows Jesus in his attitude, actions, and mindset.  I’m not married to a perfect man by any means, but he is a real man.  There is nothing remotely fantasy-related in his life.  He is all real-life and hard-core.  Grow old with me, my love!
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Saucy Afternoon

 

When a thoughtful friend takes my three older children with her own children for a day of fun, and my youngest child naps all afternoon… I make applesauce!  The experiment of using the entire apple… worked!  Prep was about the length of one song, boiling them was effortless on my part, and pureeing them was about the length of two more songs.  The result is pure deliciousness, zero waste, and no sugar added.  Yum!

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And in case you did the math, that means child number four was my assistant.

Not Giving In To Wimpy

Elijah is my resident chef.  He likes to help me cook and can make pizza dough all by himself now.  Yesterday he made banana bread while I oversaw.  Once it was in the oven I reminded him that he also had to clean everything up from cooking.  He likes to “experiment” and had left a lot of egg shells and such in various places on the counter and table.  Then there was the butter, the dishes and the measuring utensils to wash.  As I directed him, in the background there were a few arguments that needed refereeing, a bottom that needed wiped, and the usual questions that needed answered.  It was an hour and a half after everyone else had eaten lunch before I finally sat down to my peanut butter and banana toast.  He must have noticed my weariness because he looked at me and said, You know, I guess that card is right: motherhood is not for wimps!  You see, a few weeks ago a friend sent me a marvelous card with that saying on it.  I didn’t even know he had read it, but Elijah pays attention to details when I least expect it.  I just laughed.  He always knows how to make me laugh.

There are plenty of days I want to give in to wimpy.  I don’t like to be strong and hold it together all the time.  Yet once I give in to those feelings, my life unwinds like a ball of yarn and tangles me up so.  Like last week, when the oh-too-familiar “I really got hurt this time” cry met my ears from the front porch.  Elsie held on to her arm and refused to let it go.  An hour later, I dropped the other four kids off at my wonderful parents’ house and drove to the ER.  Again.  Elsie and I are becoming ER buddies.  Turns out she has a buckle fracture in her wrist.  After getting it splinted at the hospital she said, Everyone will be amazed!   The next day we went to the orthopedic doctor where we discovered she needs a cute pink cast on it for four weeks.  She described it as being: Cozy and comfortable but it hurts too.  That’s how it feels.  Elijah said, Elsie really looks good in a cast!  You know, it really suits her!

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On Sunday, Matthew and I were blessed to have an out-of-hospital date in the city!  We ate at an incredible restaurant with some delightful friends.  The view of Philadelphia was unbelievable.  It almost felt like we were in an airplane.  Even the elevator ride was fun!

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Sprinkled throughout our week have been unintended haircuts, library trips, doctor visits, school, funny finds, purple peppers in the garden, and crock pot dinners.
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The latest compilation of hilarious sleeping positions:

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Last night was a hard one for Matthew.  His throat has been stable, but was pretty tight again.  This makes for little sleep for us both, and leaves a lot of room for trust.  The water is rocky, but our Jesus is in the boat and He’s not going anywhere.  Soon we will be able to rest.   For now, there is no room for being wimpy.

 

 

Our One Room Schoolhouse

Our first week of school flew by at top speed.  I have barely had time to sleep, and my head is spinning with Ancient Rome history and what sound “A” makes.  We are steadily getting into a routine, and for that I am grateful.

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Here is a tour of our school room!  My mother-in-law rescued the chalk board from the school where she works, and it fits perfectly on my Life is Beautiful wall.  We use it all the time!  The desks are made from two Ikea table tops, which Matthew reinforced underneath with metal plates.  The top is screwed into the four filing cabinets.  The four oldest kids each have their own set of six drawers.  We are still getting used to having so much extra space, and we’re trying to keep one subject per drawer, then filing papers straight into our portfolios at the end of each week.  Along the window wall is an old Ikea coffee table (again, which my mother-in-law rescued).  I wondered if maybe we sawed it in half, if it would make a better window seat.  Voila!  My live-in-carpenter/handsome hubby did just that!  Betty’s puzzles, little toys, blocks, train set, etc. go in the baskets for easy access.  On the far left corner, under the red “W” is our reading corner.  You can not see the wooden library box which I keep heavily stocked with both books of their choice and along the same lines as what we’re studying in Science and History.

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The red lockers contain my school supplies (top 3 cubbies), shared school supplies (next 3 cubbies), kids’ personal lockers for their own projects or collections (next 6 cubbies) and finally the last 3 cubbies are math manipulatives and Betty’s shapes and stacker-type toys.

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We have our first morning board calendar, which everyone loves getting a turn at doing.  None of these ideas are my own original.  What a blessing the internet is sometimes!

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Finally, each child has their own school and chore chart, held together with a jump ring.  I got this idea from Homeschool Creations.  Certain children LOVE their lists, others are more forgetful.  We’re all still learning!  If it works as it is intended, each person has the ability to earn sixty cents a day.  However, if I end up having to do their chores because of ceaseless reminding or bad attitudes, they pay me.  Each day there are six (easy) chores required because they are a part of our family, and three (slightly harder) chores for which they can earn money.

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Further on in their charts are the school days, with velcro tabs in each of the sixteen boxes.  I printed out many many possible school and life things to do.  These get stuck in the order which I would like them done.

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Once completed, that child can remove the square and put it in their top drawer.

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Here you see Nadine has four things done, and a few more yet to do.  We are flexible here, and constantly tweaking, but it gives them a good idea of what is expected of them.  It takes me about five minutes the night before to set it up for the next day.

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So, there is a brief show and tell of our first week of school!  I hope you have enjoyed it!  There are a lot more things going on behind the scenes.  The bright pink cast on Elsie’s arm and the very short bangs are only a slight indication of the excitement which goes on outside the doors of school.  But that is for another day.  Right now this teacher must hit the hay… which rhymes with… yay.

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Third Annual Kids’ Day

It was a beautiful sight when the kids got home from being at Grandma’s after Matthew was released from the hospital.  It was impossible to fully capture the joy, hugs and squeals.August 20136
Two days later, we declared it to be our third annual kids day!  This is something we started three years ago, and each August we celebrate our fabulous kids with surprises and fun!  Jack and Matthew went to the store early in the morning and bought little gifts for everyone.  Next, we had waffles and ice-cream for breakfast before setting off on a bowling expedition.  The kids had never been bowling before.  It was a nice excuse to use the bumpers for us older folks who haven’t bowled since my belly looked like a bowling ball ten years ago!
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The second place we went was the dollar movie theatre, which turned out to be a great memory as well!  We ended our day with a pop-in at some friends’ and then a visit at Grandma’s to see my brother and his family.  Kids’ day was a success, and we are so thankful for our amazing children who bring us so much joy.  They challenge and inspire us and constantly keep us seeking God.

Yesterday, Elsie was wearing ALL yellow, and Betty was wearing much pink.  Elsie looked at Betty and commented: She’s so cute!  She’s so pink!  I’m so yellow!
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When I went to pick up Jack from a friend’s house, it was just about dark as we got ready to drive away.  He remembered he left his jackknife in the grass.  He ran up the driveway and started to kick the ground around a large area of grass.  Five seconds later, he ran back to the car, knife in hand.  I looked at him in awe.  This is the kid who claims he is not a good “looker” and can’t seem to find something in a well-lit room, let alone a huge lawn in the dark.  I asked him how he found it so quickly.  His reply?  My feet know where everything is.  Of course!  Next time I will ask his feet to do the finding.

On our drive home we got talking about heaven.  He thought for a bit and then said, When everyone on earth is in heaven, this world is going to be left in sadness.  Wow.

Elsie, in mother-like fashion was trying to help out an older sibling who was having a bit of rivalry with another sibling.  Her advice astounded me and reminded me that I guess they really are listening! This is what she said:
Well, maybe you should work it out.  Nope, that wasn’t an option.
Well, maybe you should apologize.  Not trying that either.
Well, maybe you should just walk away. Good girl!

I do love overhearing different conversations in the car between the back-seat dwellers.  Jack and Elijah were discussing broken bones.  He asked Elijah: Have I broken anything? 
No, Elijah said.
How do you know?
I’ve been here all your life.  Enough said.

Today they were having a “gentleman tea party”, complete with lego “newspapers”.  Elijah thinks the raw sugar we use is “camping sugar” and Jack commented about the whole experience: We’re like men.  I LOVE that my boys think drinking tea is manly.  One conversation during this gentlemanly time went like this:
Elijah:  Jack, I was thinking.  If the age of driving was about the age of seven, there would be a lot of dead people in the world…  No offense.

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Nadine was able to start horseback riding lessons again this week.  There is a very real hole in her heart that gets filled when she’s around horses.  She even jokes that her name is perfect: They call me neighhhhh-deen because I love horses!
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Betty is a little walky-talky, except for when she’s sitting in her special little chair… which she brings everywhere.  Yesterday while we were driving, she saw some geese.  She matter-of-factly said, I love birds.  Elsie loves birds.  Mommy loves birds.  When Jack got home from his friend’s house, she ran up to him, gave him a huge hug and exclaimed: I LOVE you, Jack!  She knows how much I love to hear her say, Yes ma’am, so she says it a lot.  It sounds a lot like, Yes, man.

Tomorrow, we officially start school.  Our school room is ready to go, and teacher is a bit trembling in her gut, but excited.  I’m excited to see if our new approach will work smoother than last year, and I’m pumped to share how we do things, after we have settled in a bit.  Speaking of, I need to get back to planning!