elsie

What on Earth???

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The other day Elsie said something so funny, yet so profound.  Matthew was working on something and instead of asking him, “What on earth are you doing?” she asked, “What are you doing on the earth!”  It is a valid question, you know.  One that we all should answer.  What am I doing?  Besides the obvious course of survival mode we all habitually travel to remain alive?  There have been definite days in my life where I barely survive.  Days with little feeling of hope, excitement, or feelings of fulfillment.  What am I doing on this earth?  Is my purpose far-reaching, even eternal?  Was I merely put on this earth to wipe babies’ bottoms and cook one-thousand-and-ninety-five meals a year?  Or is there a deeper purpose for my existence?

Yesterday was one of those days when it was pretty hard not to feel the breath of heaven wash over my soul.  I know that sixty-two degrees in January, in Pennsylvania, is not normal or to be expected.  I also know it is fleeting.  My entire being craved the sunshine and warm air so intensely that I feel like it was a gift from my Father sent to bless me personally.  I also know it blessed many other people as well!  I had the privilege of sharing the afternoon with some friends from church, and we took a nature walk through a near-by park.  The outdoors called our names and we just hollered right back, “Coming!”  And we went.


Betty was so cute with her little friend, Will.  She is one month older and liked trying to hold his hand.  They were so sweet together!


We explored the water and soaked in our fill of Vitamin D.

This is one reason I’m on this earth: to love these amazing kids who love life and the God who made them.

Oh to see more clearly that when I love them… what I am doing on this earth is making a difference in eternity.

I am so thankful for every moment on this earth.  There are glimpses of glory and heaven when the sunshine kisses my skin.  Then there are glimpses of how temporary our time on this earth is.  On our way home from the park we were almost hit head-on by someone speeding around the corner of a tight turn.  A flash of how fleeting and wonderful each moment we are given flew through my mind in an instant.


This morning when I got up, the kids had been awake for a little while and told me they had a surprise that I would really like.  Yesterday they had made me breakfast, so I was pretty curious what they had up their pajama sleeves this morning.  I shuffled downstairs to my chipper children who had finished two subjects of school already.  Neatly and correctly.  This has never happened before!  It touches my heart when they think of these kinds of things on their own.  It gives me hope to counter attack the doubt that sneaks into my thoughts sometimes.  My kids are messy, loud, and don’t always make the right choices.  Guess what?  Neither do I.  But they are also growing, learning, and come up with the most brilliant ideas!  I learn from them every day, and even though I love them so much, I need to tell them so better.  Hug them often.  Say, “You’re so smart!” more.  I can’t take it for granted that they’re alive!  I believe God created them to do unique and awesome things while they’re here.  Somehow He entrusted me with this crazy huge job called Mothering.

So, what are you doing on earth?

Monday Crunchies

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Monday.  The day when it feels like every cracker crumb is stuck to the bottom of my slippers as I crunch across my kitchen floor.  The day when school sneaks up and says, “Boo!”and scares me every time.  The day when the contents of my fridge force my creativity to expand to un-natural proportions just to think of something with which to feed my tribe.  The day when an extra cup of tea is in tall order.  I honestly don’t dislike Mondays, mostly because there is nothing too drastically different about them than every other day in the week.  I still cook, clean, change diapers, do laundry, make three meals, sweep dust bunnies, wipe mysterious stickies off the floor, play referee, and plop into bed exhausted.  True, Monday follows our one and only guaranteed family day, which is always a bit of a letdown.  I guess that is why my kitchen floor feels more crunchy than usual and school seems a bit harder than other days.  Today Betty also seemed to turn a corner in her tiny growing-up life.  She has a snotty nose and a sore throat, but there was more to her wee little crying fits than just all that.  They definitely left me swirling a little bit.  I’m bracing myself for a new year, new Betty.


Is there anything cuter than a heart on the bum?  Perhaps, maybe, that heart sneaking away up the stairs in a flash…

I had a lot of girl time this weekend while Matthew took the boys rock-climbing among other things.  It is rare that I catch all three playing so sweetly together.  Nadine was pushing the littles in the clothes basket, which was just as exciting as any boardwalk ride, let me tell you!

 

Betty weighed in a whopping eighteen pounds at  her one-year check-up.  She loves to walk, assisted.   Some of her new tricks include blowing kisses and giving away real-life, sloppy wet smooches on your cheeks.  She climbs the stairs in a jiffy and then lays on her belly at the top and squawks for help to get back down again.


On Saturday when she was starting to get feverish, Nadine rocked her right to sleep while humming “Silent Night”.  It was precious.


Speaking of sleep, this is my favorite part of Monday and every day. Sneaking into the kids’ bedrooms and watching the way sleep transforms their darling faces.  Betty snores and is always in a different position.  Sometimes on her tummy, sometimes her back, sometimes with her feet straight up in  the air on the side of her pack n’ play.  Elijah generally is sprawled out across his bed and can’t be woken up for anything.  Just like his daddy.  Jack is usually curled up into a tight ball, sometimes his entire body underneath the covers.  Just like his mama.  Nadine is almost never asleep before I go to bed, but when the rarity occurs, she is on her back, straight and tall, or half way under her covers and half-way on top of them.  She’s somewhat haphazard when she sleeps.  There is frequently something funny about how Elsie has fallen asleep.  She doesn’t have any one special thing which she likes to sleep with every night.  She almost always is asleep on her back, like a statue, sometimes hands folded across her chest.  The other night, unbeknownst to me, she fell asleep holding a balloon she had received that day.  It is pretty tricky taking pictures in a dark bedroom, but the flash didn’t even make her flinch.


This Monday Matthew got his third out of four infusions.  He’s feeling so much better than three weeks ago, and next week we’ll see where he is in a bit more detail.  When he got home from work, I was sitting on the dirty kitchen floor with Betty on my lap, banging spoons onto a metal bowl.  He knew about my challenges of Monday.  Then he handed me pure gold:  my favoritest tea ever and German chocolate.  Now there is a sweet way to end a Monday.

Happy Winter

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I don’t think I’ve ever put those two words together at the same time.  African blood runs too thick in my veins to really think that winter can be happy.  But I’m embracing it, because it’s part of life, part of where we are, part of God’s creativity.  There have been some special things that have happened this week that have eased me into this somewhat dreary time for me.  A secret bag of treats left on our front porch one night while I was in the basement exercising.  Popcorn, Christmas socks, and other treats warmed our hearts.  Then, a special  package from a friend.  The love that came pouring out of that package was tangible. It was  full of creatively wrapped Christmas presents.  One of those delights was this amazing costume Sarah made.  Folks, a pink super-hero has joined the ranks.   Elsie calls the mask her “goggles” and she kicks grumpies out the door with her cuteness.  Grouchiness (at least in me) runs far far away at the sight of her pink polka-dot cape.  Stress is relieved by the smiles this super-cute-hero produces.  I highly recommend adding a super- hero into your Christmas mix.

My favorite color is red.  I love pops of red all over my house and bursts of red on me and my kids.  So when I saw these shoes at the thrift store yesterday for $2, it was a no-brainer.  I would love to sport shiny red shoes.  I in fact have red heels that make my feet hurt so badly, but I wear them once a year because they make my heart beat faster.  This girl makes me smile so much, and these red shoes… they make my heart glow!  Thanksgiving meets Christmas here.

This week Matthew is working in Philadelphia on the 30th floor of some condos!  To save gas, he is taking the train back and forth from his parents’ house, so we miss him around these parts!  It makes anticipating this weekend even sweeter.  Tonight is date night with Nadine, and thanks to a wonderful friend offering a sleepover for Elsie, and a wonderful Grandma to watch the other three, we will have a blast.  I have a super-fun secret tucked up my sleeve, and I can hardly wait to share what it is!  I’m plenty busy preparing for being the host of this year’s celebration!  Our home will be bursting at the seams, which is just how I like it.

 There is always room for super-heros and red shoes, though!  

Happy Winter!

Special Twenty-One

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Yesterday was the 21st, which means “date day” in our house!

It was Elsie’s turn to go out with me.  I was so excited to take her to the bookstore, drink hot chocolate, and do puzzles.


The first thing she told me when we got out of the car was, “This is a beautiful date!”  Her chatter didn’t really stop from there on out, unless her mouth was full of hot chocolate.  “Look at that big boy!  He’s eating a cookie!”  “Look at that big man, he has cake!”  We stuck to our hot chocolate and coffee.


Her favorite thing were the train tracks.  She probably was thrilled to have each and every train to herself.  We had fun pretending to get lost in the tunnels and run out of gas… or whatever trains use to fuel themselves.


This girl has an uncanny ability towards puzzles.  She has done and re-done her two puzzles countless times now.  We found this block puzzle that was pretty fun.  Not as fun as “regular” puzzles, though!  After reading a few books it was back to the train set!

I loved our date.  It touched a part of our hearts that doesn’t always get touched when there are four other kids, messes that need cleaned up, and the daily grind getting in the way.  Elsie is really funny.  I’m learning this more and more.  She loves it when she says something that makes me chuckle… which is often.  She loves to help.  She loves pink.  She loves to wear as many different patterns at once that is humanly possible.  I am so thankful to have had some special time together.  It was a beautiful date!

The Three-Minute Tour

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It took me a year to walk to this place.  That is, it has taken me a year to actually do it.  It really only takes about three minutes to get there.  So, today, for the third time in one week, we headed over to the baseball field that is on the next block.  This time we pulled the wagon.  Yes, it is as dirty as it looks.  The girls obviously didn’t mind!  Betty was chomping at the bit with her two little teeth.


After discovering this place which has fences to scale and a big field in which to run, the kids beg every day to go to “the park”.  About one minute after we got there, Jack discovered his hidden (or not so hidden) Ninja self.  After all, it is what he wants to be when he grows up.


Not to be outdone by her big brother, Elsie scaled right up the fence.  She was so proud of herself when she succeeded in going up AND down without any help.
 Here is another face of accomplishment.  Jack hopped on Elijah’s big bike and took off with a grin.  He zoomed around the field like he’s been riding big bikes his whole life, promptly pushed it up to the top of the highest hill he could find and raced down without a flinch.


Then he discovered that riding with one hand is pretty cool too.


I think I see his manhood seeping out of this picture.  He so proudly showed me the hair on his legs the other day, and thought they looked like a man’s.  He’s still a little boy, though.  I don’t know too many men who would walk around with used bubble wands attached to their belt-loops like it’s the coolest thing in the world.


Elsie is a little runner.  She runs back and forth tirelessly, with just her shadow to spur her on towards faster speeds. 
That and her fancy shoes:


Then there’s my not-so-little girl who is wearing my shoes now and borrows my jacket because the ones from last year go up a few inches from her wrist.  


Elijah and Nadine love to play kickball, soccer, or whatever they think of at the moment.


Elsie is so close to mastering the two-wheeler.  She had me in fits of laughter with all her giggling and accidental slamming on of her brakes.  It is a really good workout to push a three-year old on a teeny bike that requires a constant squat while running.

Then there’s this little munchkin who just goes with the flow.  If the flow happens to hit the decrepit swings for a few minutes, then she’s all smiles.  She doesn’t care how nasty the chains look, or even if they hold her up.  She is consumed with smiles and the new feeling of her tummy tickling inside her as the air whooshes by her face like a big breath.  
 
Every single day the kids remind me to make time for fun.  Hold all calls until the book is finished.  Turn up the music and dance.  They don’t care if they have matching shoes, matching clothes, or a beat-up soccer ball.  They do care about feeling loved.  They want us to notice how cool they are with their imaginations.  Like when playgrounds become castles and bubble wands become keys.  They want us to see them in action, laugh at their silliness, and cheer their accomplishments.  So leave the clothes pile stacked high and grab the dirty wagon.  Don’t wait a day, a month, a year… remember, it might only take three minutes to get there.

That’s Why God Made the Moon

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Tonight we were driving home when Elsie spotted the full moon.  “Look!  I see it!  It’s a new moon!”  She wanted her window down so she could see it even better.  “I’ve never seen that one before!”  All the way home, she just kept exclaiming over it.  I thought how God must be smiling.  Perhaps a lot of us went all evening without regarding God’s amazing creation.  But there was a little girl who worshiped and praised the God who made the moon.  We often make worship out to be something more fancy than it is.  I’m just learning that it doesn’t land at a certain time or place or have to be done a certain way.  I’m thankful for a God who accepts our worship from a pure heart.  Jesus said in John 4-:23-24

“But the time is coming—it has, in fact, come—when what you’re called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter.  It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

I love that Jesus spoke those words.  He only wants our true selves, adoring Him.  It may be with a guitar in hand.  It may be with our hands in a dirty pile of dinner dishes.  It may be with a pen and paper.  It may be with our feet hitting the ground as we run.  It may be with our faces bowed low to the ground, or it may be with our faces looking upwards in the night sky at the moon.

Top of the Mornin’

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When this little girl comes downstairs, there is usually a mess of curls, a sleepy look, a funny outfit, and a big appetite attached.  Elsie is the queen of funny outfits.  Yesterday I held back a burst of laughter when she walked into the room holding a dirty nerf sword and wearing a gorgeous pink lacy dress, purple crocs, a small black motorcycle helmet, and a backpack.  She looked like she was on some sort of fabulous mission.  Princess biker chic with a little ninja action.  She is always my splash of pink in the middle of  a muddy day.  And we have had a LOT of mud lately!


Last night Jack told me that he really wanted to be a police officer when he grows up.  “Really, mom.  They have cool handcuffs, carry a gun, and eat donuts.  They really do eat donuts!”


At least I can help him fulfill part of that dream and get that boy some donuts!

Brothers that Sparkle

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Today the quiet upstairs while I did school with the older two kiddos translated into two words: blue glitter.  One new rule we’ve been impletmenting this school year is “room check”.  Done right before lunch, before they’re allowed to eat lunch, their beds must be made and the floor picked up to “decent” status.  Thorough cleanings are done on the weekends.  This has worked well for oh, four days.  Today I forgot to check their rooms before lunch.  I did have this passing thought during the morning: Why does Elsie have so much blue glitter in her hair?  But it literally didn’t get any farther than that.  Around lunchtime, as I went upstairs to fetch Betty from her bed,  my eyes caught sight of an ocean of blue glitter flooding the boys’ bedroom floor.  That explains the sparkly hair… and the quiet, I thought.  Let’s just say that the boys’ room got its thorough cleaning a day early!  Elsie also experienced getting her hair vacuumed, which she thought was a riot, and which actually worked to remove the glitter.

Oh, life.  Life with boys and life with littles is always an adventure.  Sometimes it invovles glitter.  Sometimes mud.  Sometimes putting on every pair of pajamas to become ninjas.

Elsie asked me the other day, “Mom, why do we have brothers?”

Well, if we didn’t, then… there would be a LOT less laundry, a lot less messiness, a lot less feats of bravery, a lot less, um, glitter to vacuum up… maybe.

Tonight I climbed into Jack’s top bunk and asked him to tell me about his “collection”.  He has a whole shelf, neatly organized with things special to him.  He’s got his robot guy, his box made out of legos, containing his stopwatch, jackknife, flashlight and one of 3 purses.  He has  a glass jar for “broken stuff”, a plastic jar full of water with a rock in it and a lid on top, a special car, his wicker basket for “extra special shiny things”, and his sword neatly tucked away behind it all.  I’m sure I forgot a few things.  It was funny, because after he went through everything, he looked at me, giggled, and said, “You’re in my bed, Mommy!”  He gets so tickled when I climb up there.

Tonight we rearranged some of the downstairs rooms to make them more functional for school.  I still have a whole lot of organizing to do before it’s done.  When I’m finished, I will take pictures.  Hey, at least I have one less container of blue glitter to worry about!

August Don’t Rush

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Something about it being August makes me want to soak up every last ounce of summer fun. We’ve had plenty of slow-moving mornings and late night adventures.  We’ve had blueberry picking adventures and ice-cream suppers.

The other night after I finished reading the creation story to Elsie I asked her, “What did you learn today? What did God make?” After thinking a few seconds she replied heartily, “Waffles!” Then, to go on and show you what a conversation with her is like, she proceeded to say, “God made my legs!” Then, pointing to her knees she said, “There’s something in my legs.” “What?” “Stars!” I said, “No, silly. Bones!” She proceeded to go on, “I don’t like to eat bones. Bones are for dogs. I like white dogs. I don’t like big dogs. Big dogs lick me on my foots and my hand.” Then, she is reminded to look at her hands. “I need to get my nails off. Mom, can I go to Heidi’s house to get my nails off?” You see, Aunt Heidi always paints her nails. That, my friends, is just a smidgen of what a conversation with Elsie is like.

As we were driving last week Nadine very confidently said, “I have a GPS in my head and it’s telling me that it might rain today.” Elijah, just as confidently said, “That’s a thermometer.”

  

 Summer is full of hoses and swimming pools and ice-cold cokes.  It’s the sweat on your body and the drippy wet circle left under your cup after it’s been sitting on the table for one minute.  It’s the smell of tomato vines and basil leaves and the sound of children splashing.
 
 For me, this summer begins the start of running minimalist-style.  My shoe-maker styled my old sneaks the way he styled his, and it’s training me to run on my fore-foot, not my heel.  Fun!  So far my foot injury has been non-existent and I can feel other muscles that have never been used in running before, getting a good work-out.  I’m up to two miles without stopping, but haven’t reached the “I love running” stage yet.  
 Oh, August, please don’t rush past me like the rest of your summer friends have.