Let Freedom Grow

A word which has shaped and defined this year is freedom.  I’m seeing it played out in so many ways throughout my every day.  For instance.  Today my skirt fell off.  Under many circumstances, this would have been categorized as one of my most embarrassing moments.  Thankfully, I was *only* outside in the front yard, having just walked out to our van to grab something and bring it inside.  The mailman wasn’t there.  No one was walking by.  The neighbors weren’t mowing their lawn.  I speedily pulled it together and ran inside.  This can be categorized as freedom, though not exactly what I had in mind on January 1st.  My box of wrap skirts have taken center stage in my wardrobe.  And I will not let a small setback, such as one falling off of me, deter me from wearing them.  My twenty-week-belly loves the wrap skirt idea.  2016-06-30 17.31.40This week the kids have been able to feel baby Chip move so much.  Their faces are priceless!  Jack sat there with his hand on my tummy for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden his hand shot back and he looked at me with his eyes and mouth about the same width.  It was great!  As I sit on the front porch this evening after a busy day of mommy-ing, attacking the weeds in my garden, and doing the regular mounds of laundry, I feel some kicking.  Baby Chip most certainly had a growth spurt this week, because all of a sudden I make a funny noise when I bend over, forgetting my front has expanded into my ribcage when in that position.  That, and I keep stubbing my toes when I walk upstairs.  I think it’s because I don’t lift my legs as high right before I take a step.  Pretty much on the dot, every night around 11pm the gymnastics starts, and I sit with my hand on my belly, in wonderment at another life bursting with joy inside of me.  Freedom.
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For the past six weeks, Elsie has had a cast on her right arm.  After about a day of figuring out how to do stuff with a perpetually bent arm, she quickly resumed life with a cast, almost as if she had none.  She literally lets nothing hold her back.  Even without the use of her thumb, she figured out how to tie her shoes, do monkey bars, climb, ride a bike and even play baseball!
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Monday was a big day for her, when she was liberated from its confines.  Freedom.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words:
IMG_8590[1]This week I had to say goodbye to a dear, sweet friend.  Our husbands met at a spin class about 8 years ago, which was definitely a God-ordained meeting, since I don’t think either of them have been to a spin class ever since.  Our kids are the same age, and we’ve watched and prayed eachother through some mutually serious health issues.  She is the friend who introduced Plexus to me, and after watching her journey to health and freedom, jumped in to join her.  She has been an incredible source of joy and encouragement and wisdom to me the past few years.  I love how in Heaven others will truly find out how much impact they’ve had on your life.  Thankfully Tennessee isn’t too far, but knowing I can’t just pop over makes me get a little teary.  Letting loved ones go and be and do what they’ve been called to is one of the hardest things on earth, I believe.  Yet, letting them go gives you more freedom to love stronger and deeper and further than before.
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Once a week Nadine has been getting back into the saddle.  It’s the highlight of her week.  She gets to ride with one of her best friends as well, which adds all sorts of amazingness to her week.  To me, it’s scary.  To her, it’s freedom.  She continues to be a huge source of help to me around the house and is growing in her babysitting abilities.  nrw
Today our not-so-bitty-Betty lost her first tooth!  She is growing up, embracing her big sister role already, and is somwhat of an old soul.  Sometimes I look at her and wonder on what wavelength she communicates to God.  He must tell her things I can’t quite fathom.  If you’ve ever had a conversation with her, you might understand what I’m having a hard time putting in to words.  Growing up requires a little bit of pain, which usually results in more freedom.
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Speaking of growing up.  There are these two characters who live in the attic, who often sound like a small herd of elephants when they come down the stairs.  But they are in actuality, boy-men.  Boys trapped in bodies which are swiftly becoming men.  Boys who dream of motorcycles and ammunition and muscles and big stuff like jobs.  Jobs that pay money so Elijah can get his pilot’s license and fly his friends wherever they want to go.  It’s fun to listen to their dreams and know that many of them will come true if we never plant seeds of doubt into their fertile minds.  Freedom.
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Apparently there is a “look back and compare an old picture of you and your spouse to now” thing going on over on facebook.  So, for fun I decided to do just that.  I practically died when I pulled out this doozy of a photo from nine years ago!  Matthew had been sick for about a year and a half, was on high doses of toxic meds, and I was barely surviving as a mom of three.  How incredibly blessed and grateful I am for the road we have traveled, and for the way the Lord has helped us navigate the stormy path.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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We don’t even know how many prayers have gone up for us on Matthew’s behalf.  So many.  There were times we literally felt like there was no way to go on.  We praise the Lord for the gift of health.  We know we are never guaranteed another breath.  But for every breath we are given, we praise Him!  Matthew is out running right now, his reflective vest on, heart pumping, lungs breathing, windpipe open.  Not something we would have thought about before.  It is the storm which has made our love so strong.  It is being in the pit which has made the air above so clean and worth savoring.  2016-06-28 23.14.09
We pray for open hands to receive both the sickness and the health.  The richer and the poorer.  Til death do us part.  In doing this, there is great freedom.

 

An Afternoon in Philly

A little while ago our family took a day trip into Philadelphia.  No agenda.  Just ourselves.  We had a meltdown from the 4-year-old, so I took just the tall crowd up the Art Museum steps for some fun pictures.

We saw five different weddings being shot around the Art Museum.  Couldn’t help sneaking this picture.

It wasn’t until I was shooting pictures of our kids when I saw how funny their outfits were.  About 99 percent of the time I let them choose their own clothes.  Sometimes I veto a certain ensemble when we are going someplace nice.  Usually I don’t.  They are who they are.  I love their confidence.

Shadows are such close friends.

Yes, Jack was carrying a gun in the city and brandishing it while he ran down the steps.  One gun was bright blue and the other was a marshmallow blaster made of PVC piping.  Always ready for battle.

The tears flowed for quite a while before finally subsiding.  I love these kids!

Not every day do you see a UFO on wheels!

At last, her sweet face came out for a smile.

Can you guess where this is?

If that was you behind us in your Ferrari, you made my boys’ day.

I love Philadelphia.  It’s my favorite city with so many memories made there.  I can always be persuaded to spend a day in Philly.

Purple and Camo: The Perfect Blend

This morning as we ate crepes there was much drawing going on around the table.  Robots, cats, and flaming arrows (which I innocently thought were flowers).  Elijah asked Elsie how to spell her name.  She began to clearly spell it out for him in a teacher-like voice.  Then she proceeded to tell him, “Elijah, you didn’t do it correct.  Here, let me do it for you.”  He is the type to be able to chuckle to himself at her bossiness, and we exchanged smiles about it.

This weekend there was a father-daughter dance at church.  The girls were decked out in their “wedding dresses” (dresses they wore to Matt’s brother’s wedding) all afternoon.  Yes, Elsie wore a yellow head-band.  One would never know the drama that went on with that decision.  When they came home that night Elsie told me that, “I was only dancing with my feet one time.”  The rest of the time Daddy held her while they danced.  We both realize this will not always be so, so we treasure the small beautiful girl with the high-pitched voice that we sometimes just want to be quiet.  Even though some days the tears seem to come in the quantity to fill a small ocean, we love our precious Elsie Rose who knows how to spell her name and loves everything pink.  And purple.

Then we have our oldest, who didn’t need to be held to meet Daddy’s eyes while they danced.  Her beauty is swiftly unfolding, and it’s frightening and exciting all at once to see her growing up.  When we were driving to church the other day she dramatically yelled from the back seat, “Don’t open the windows!  My earrings are dangly!”  Elijah agreed that they just might fly out.  It was pretty funny.

While the two oldest girls were away, the boys, Betty, and I stayed home.  At the moment I was taking this picture, I was not exactly happy with the mess going on here.  They made strawberry-watermelon juice with every kitchen tool imaginable and I was stepping on sticky juice all night.  Matt left me with a smile that said, “Enjoy them, they’re just being boys.”  After this picture, they hopped in the tub, Betty went to bed, and I made pizza.  Then I introduced the boys to one of my favorite shows as a kid: Knight Rider, and we ate homemade pizza and oohed and aaahed over the coolness of Kit, and there was nothing girly until the purple clad girls came home donning balloons and memories of dancing with Daddy.

Our house is full of the mixture of flowers and flounce, camo and guns.  Gaudy necklaces and hair ties that don’t match, bicycles that make loud noises and robot drawings.  Pretty tea parties and scary bike ramps.  Perfume and stinky feet.  Hello Kitty bandaids covering a scratch and bruised and bloody knees that deflect the stick of  a bandaid.  Once in awhile these two worlds collide, and I catch moments of gentle love between them.  True gentlemen can put aside their macho muscles to gently hug their sisters and tell them how pretty they look.  Strong women can hang on to their femininity while scaling daunting heights and playing in the mud.  When boys and girls live together there are clashes, yes, but there is also a perfect blending of beauty and brawn, sweet and salty, tenderness and toughness.  Sometimes I don’t always appreciate their differences and honestly I sometimes define different as wrong.  Don’t we all?  But having five little personalities surrounding me every day all day long, I realize and must embrace their differences and not try to compare them with others or change them.  They each fill a void that would otherwise be in this world, and together they are the perfect blend.

>Who would have thought one dollar could stretch so far? Last week each of the kids got a dollar from Grandma, so Matt took them to the dollar store for a treat. Nadine picked a jumprope and the boys each picked a gun. Those guns have already been taped together, but they’re still going strong! Right now they are marching around the house in the hands of two warriors. They sleep on top of the refrigerator when things get out of control, but for the most part they are in active duty.

Swords have also been a constant love for my warrior boys. I found a really cool book at the library about swords and this morning Jack was on his tummy, knees tucked under him, bottom in the air, looking intently at the pictures. So cute! Last night I went into the boys’ room to look at them while they were sleeping. Jack was all curled up with a big smile on his face and he said in his sleep, “Hi, Levi!” I guess he was dreaming about his friend! =) So cute! Today he and Nadine have been inseparable and Nadine told me that it’s a “me and Jack day all day!” as they danced around in a circle. Then Jack told her, “Let’s get married, deen! Let’s get married!” So they danced again. The other day Jack decided to jump out of his bunkbed. He landed on the trundle bed below, that happened to be pulled out, so he didn’t hit the floor at least. I heard a loud thud then a loud cry. I thought for sure there was a broken bone in my future, but amazingly he only bumped his ankle on the side of the trundle bed and it made a bruise. He learned that trundle beds are not trampolines and that you can’t jump that high unless you have a parachute.

Elijah is persistent in things he wants to do. Like figuring out how to fix things or find things. His prayers are so cute. One day they were pretending to be puppies ALL day. He prayed, “Thank you SO much for helping us to be puppies. Thank you so much for making me a Christian and help us to have a GREAT day for Mommy.” Yesterday he and Jack found a HUGE puddle and went jumping, swimming, dunking and dancing in it. They shed their shirts and every care in the world while dousing themselves in brown muddy water. It’s hard to dampen that kind of joy when a mere washing machine cycle and warm bath will wash everything dirty away. The memories will stay with them forever, though.

Everyone has been into horses afresh after getting to ride them on Sunday. After church we had a huge fall fest complete with hayrides, face-painting, candy, horse-riding, and sunshine! Nadine was thrilled beyond words to ride a horse for the first time! She was all smiles and loved every minute of it, riding her “dreamer”, as she calls any horse that is brown with a black mane and a white spot on its nose. She was looking at pictures of them and said that the way to tell the difference between a girl and a boy horse is to look at their nose to see if they have any white on there or not! Cute! =) I love seeing their dreams being fulfilled! I love how their dreams can be so big, yet not impossible. I love how they are persistent about fulfilling their dreams and have such faith, that hasn’t been tainted yet by other people’s doubts and unbelief.

Elsie is repeating everything we say. She LOVES to sing “This little light of mine” and holds her finger up so we’ll start to sing it. She starts to giggle and smile. She also gets pumped up singing, “the B-I-B-L-E” and shouts, “BIBLE!” at the end. She is a precious darling, especially today as she wandered around in her rainboots and pink fairy-wings.

Besides all of the regular “dailies”, life continues. We are thrilled as we work with the new college/young adult group at our church. It’s been a real joy and we’re excited to see God growing us all up in Him. Our house is still for sale and we continue to trust the Lord that He knows the best timing for every single detail of our lives. We know that as we do the “little” things in front of us and obey His whispers, He will shed light on our next steps at just the right time.