lessons

Broken Tulip and a Road Trip

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This tulip was accidently smooshed the other day.  I thought it really had died, but with a little love it now sits happily in a vase on my kitchen table.  I’m thankful it got broken, because now I can enjoy its beauty whenever I walk into the kitchen!  It’s brokenness forced me to embrace its loveliness and not miss out on it while it grew in the garden where I looked maybe once a day.  So much like our own lives.  Sometimes we have to be broken in order for the beauty of Christ to shine brighter.   Sometimes we are moved to the kitchen table to bring more blessing and joy to others than if we had remained where we were more comfortable.  Now that it’s in a vase of water, it is actually growing more, because tulips never stop growing, even after they’re picked.  Brokenness leads to growth.

Easter was a special day with family.  Betty was in on the action this year.

Cousins always add an element of delight to any day!

I’m not sure what Betty was doing.  It seemed like she didn’t want to touch the grass with her knees.  Nope, she’s still not walking.  Just doing yoga.

This weekend I’m super duper excited to drive away to Syracuse with my sister and enjoy a weekend away!  We will be relishing time with my other sister and 3 friends we grew up with in Africa… I can already feel my stomach hurting from the laughter, my eyes stinging from the tears, and my heart filling up with once-a-year-maybe-more kind of memories.  What amazing husbands we have to happily let us go and enjoy time with our sisters!  It’s going to be grand.  Happy Friday!  May it be beautiful.

A Growth-full Week

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It’s been the inevitable low after the high.  A great weekend, followed by some real-life hard times.  What better way to break up the monotony than taking a field trip to a local farm/veterinary clinic?  So, yesterday we headed out to some friends’ farm for some animal fun.

Nadine was in her glory, feeding the baby goats and petting the horses.  Betty wasn’t as sure about the goats at first, but soon warmed up to them.  She also got licked many time by one of the dogs until she giggled.  It was so adorable.

 

 

Jack was super brave to ride the horse bare-back in his crocs.  He’s brave in other ways too.  The other day I was watching him from the bathroom window.  He was outside, tying a karate belt to a tree branch.  Next, he climbed the tree and tied the other end to a higher branch.  Then he jumped down and grabbed hold of the loop he just made.  After a quick tug to make sure it was tight, he confidently hoisted himself about four off the ground and started to pull himself up by the rope.  All of a sudden, one end came untied and he fell flat on his back with a thud.  I expected tears, but he lay there for a second before brushing himself off and standing up.  I came outside to make sure he was okay, and before I could ask him, he said, “Mom!  Guess what?  I just made a trap and it works!”  Pause.  “I tested it.”  Oh, my.

I know the Lord has great plans for that boy.  When he’s not being tough, he is super sweet.  He’s been diligently working on his letters and numbers.  I found that counting to a hundred while pulling out a measuring tape is right up his alley.

Betty has been changing so much this month!  She still gives us “the look” with wrinkled nose, furrowed eyebrows and a loud squawking sound to accompany it.  We are working on our manners and today she learned how to give high fives.  Her favorite thing outside is to collect rocks, put them into something and give a high five after each rock.  She’s sporting seven teeth, with more popping through very soon.  She loves to talk with her hands and tell stories with much inflection.  Perhaps a linguist?

There is something satisfying about watching boys whack things with sticks.  Their language isn’t with words, but rather with loud noises and a mutual understanding of sounds and war-like cries.

They are very different than girls.


Girls are pretty and sweet.  Even with a drooly mouth, this one still looks beautiful.

So, even though I’ve been challenged to my core this week on wife-hood and mother-hood, I’m so thankful for the rewards each day.  Hugs, forgiveness, love, smiles, and little glimpses of growth in hearts and minds.

The Open Book Test

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“If I give you all the answers, then you’ll never learn!”  I said in a more exasperated voice than I meant to towards my daughter.  The statement turned around, looked me in the face and seemed to echo back to my ears: say what?

I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  Sometimes things pop out of my mouth, then backfire in a way that make me a little uncomfortable.  I feel a bit silly.  Those oh-so-wise-sounding words are like boomerangs sailing from my mouth back to my heart.  Trust me.  Be nice.  Be patient.  Oh, and stop yelling, for crying out loud!  Oops.


Artwork by Jack.  Sometimes I feel like the one on the left.  Or the right.

Honestly, I’m going through a ton of learning right now.  No answers are  being shelled out to me.  Real life questions, like how & why, are prevalent in my every day.  They are like English lesson 53 is to my daughter.  She cries out for answers, yet to give in to her  pleads would be to rob her of really mastering that bit of education put before her.  In the same way,  I cry out for the answers.  His voice answers in a very familiar way, telling me that I’ll never learn if He just tells me all the answers.  Trust is imperative to obedience.  The how’s, why’s and when’s will work themselves out as we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts.

I was reading in James last week, and on Sunday heard a sermon on James chapter 1.  The similarities to what I have been thinking about and going through were so striking.  The tests God gives us are to see if we have learned anything.  He knows us so deeply, and He deems us ready to take the very test we are experiencing.  Sometimes He tests us because He wants to hear from us.  I know that is something I need to improve upon: my communication with Him.

There is a ton of learning yet to be done.  I hope that I can guide my children towards the truth without giving them all the answers.  I pray that they will use God’s word to seek out all of the answers to life’s questions.  It’s an Open-Book test every single day.  How thankful I am that He gently leads those with young… because I have five young, and I need leading.

Snap-O

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Today, after a wonderful morning with my kids, unexpectedly meeting delightful friends in a parking lot, and filling our fridge with much-needed food… something went snap.  Was it the thirtieth time of stepping over that puzzle on the dining room floor?  Maybe the crunch under my feet of the seventh goldfish meeting it’s demise.  Perhaps it was the picking of the the lock in the front door with a jack knife.  No, I bet it was that last time someone said they were hungry, even though they just ate eleven minutes ago.  Whatever the case, this mama went “SNAP-O!”  Snap-O.  Sounds like a fun game!  It’s not.  It’s dreadful, really.  It’s when your mouth opens and things rather loudly come out that aren’t nice.  It often leads to tears.  It must be followed up by apologies, or snap-o becomes contagious.

A wonderful admonition came when I was talking on the phone to Matthew and he reminded me (again) that they are children.  I thought maybe I got that by now.  Sometimes I forget, though.  Sometimes I expect so much out of them or myself and before I know it, “SNAP-O” comes flying at me like a deck of cards being released and I stand there blinking and confused.  I get tired of picking up the cards again, but thankfully forgiveness deals me another turn.  God is so gracious.

Then there was rollerblading through the kitchen,  a crying baby who wanted to be held, and multiple requests for food.  Relief came when Matthew walked in the door and offered to take the kids to the park so I could finish making supper.  I didn’t realize how much I needed that break until it came.  Peace reigned supreme as he called from the front door, “I have all of them!”  Even Betty?  Even Betty.  Twenty minutes later they came back with rosy cheeks and Betty was all smiles.  She knows she’s hot stuff doing big girl things like playing at the park with her brothers and sisters.  Her grin couldn’t be erased.

This weekend was fun and relaxing at the Weldon’s.  We enjoyed a walk, good food, and being together.Outside, the sidewalk chalk scrawled out just one request: snow, please.
The snowman lights echoed the request.

Cozy warmth beckoned me back inside, where the sound of Adele filled the kitchen and the sight of busy little chefs were hard at work.Elsewhere, the boys found things which their hearts enjoy.


Family is so incredibly special to me.  I have to focus in on these amazing moments of love…especially when I feel the Snap about to fly.

What on Earth???

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The other day Elsie said something so funny, yet so profound.  Matthew was working on something and instead of asking him, “What on earth are you doing?” she asked, “What are you doing on the earth!”  It is a valid question, you know.  One that we all should answer.  What am I doing?  Besides the obvious course of survival mode we all habitually travel to remain alive?  There have been definite days in my life where I barely survive.  Days with little feeling of hope, excitement, or feelings of fulfillment.  What am I doing on this earth?  Is my purpose far-reaching, even eternal?  Was I merely put on this earth to wipe babies’ bottoms and cook one-thousand-and-ninety-five meals a year?  Or is there a deeper purpose for my existence?

Yesterday was one of those days when it was pretty hard not to feel the breath of heaven wash over my soul.  I know that sixty-two degrees in January, in Pennsylvania, is not normal or to be expected.  I also know it is fleeting.  My entire being craved the sunshine and warm air so intensely that I feel like it was a gift from my Father sent to bless me personally.  I also know it blessed many other people as well!  I had the privilege of sharing the afternoon with some friends from church, and we took a nature walk through a near-by park.  The outdoors called our names and we just hollered right back, “Coming!”  And we went.


Betty was so cute with her little friend, Will.  She is one month older and liked trying to hold his hand.  They were so sweet together!


We explored the water and soaked in our fill of Vitamin D.

This is one reason I’m on this earth: to love these amazing kids who love life and the God who made them.

Oh to see more clearly that when I love them… what I am doing on this earth is making a difference in eternity.

I am so thankful for every moment on this earth.  There are glimpses of glory and heaven when the sunshine kisses my skin.  Then there are glimpses of how temporary our time on this earth is.  On our way home from the park we were almost hit head-on by someone speeding around the corner of a tight turn.  A flash of how fleeting and wonderful each moment we are given flew through my mind in an instant.


This morning when I got up, the kids had been awake for a little while and told me they had a surprise that I would really like.  Yesterday they had made me breakfast, so I was pretty curious what they had up their pajama sleeves this morning.  I shuffled downstairs to my chipper children who had finished two subjects of school already.  Neatly and correctly.  This has never happened before!  It touches my heart when they think of these kinds of things on their own.  It gives me hope to counter attack the doubt that sneaks into my thoughts sometimes.  My kids are messy, loud, and don’t always make the right choices.  Guess what?  Neither do I.  But they are also growing, learning, and come up with the most brilliant ideas!  I learn from them every day, and even though I love them so much, I need to tell them so better.  Hug them often.  Say, “You’re so smart!” more.  I can’t take it for granted that they’re alive!  I believe God created them to do unique and awesome things while they’re here.  Somehow He entrusted me with this crazy huge job called Mothering.

So, what are you doing on earth?

>Mr. Limpy

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>So on Saturday morning Matthew ran 10 miles… well, later on his leg started to hurt, and it’s gotten steadily worse.  He took Monday off work hoping it would heal.  Now today it’s still really painful, so Dr. Beck told him he should rest it for the remainder of the week.  That’s almost like telling a fish to stop swimming.  It will be fun to have a few daddy days, but unfortunately not for the best reason!  Sometimes God tells us to rest and He will take care of the REST.  Those things we think we need ourselves in order to accomplish.  Maybe He just wants us to really depend on Him.  Isn’t that every day?  So, I’m thankful for an opportunity to be cast upon an unexpected moment to trust Him for provision, strength, and faith.

>You’re Moving??

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>Yep.  It’s been a bittersweet story for us.  So much blessing, but a lot of mistakes as well.  In November we will have lived here 5 years… the longest place we’ve lived at one time, married!  In short, we really couldn’t afford our house from the beginning and made it work by putting other necessities (and non-necessities) on credit, so we could pay our mortgage.

The day we moved here, Matt bought a really nice truck… with payments attached.  Yes, he needed a truck for work, but as we found out a year later, God can provide with no strings attached!  He was gracious and when we knew we had to sell his truck to get rid of those horrible monthly payments, he was able to sell it for the exact price he bought it for the previous year.  Matthew paid cash for his current Toyota truck, no extended cab, complete with rusty spots and a constant ticking sound and really loud muffler.  It’s been going strong for three years now, almost at 200K miles.  Well, maybe strong isn’t the best word… but last week when it needed to be jumped numerous times in order to start, we were thankful that it only cost about $3 to fix it.  Oh, I could write a few chapters of funny stories about that truck…  let’s just say, it’s been going! =)

Anyway, back to the story.  It was about this time in our financial down-slide that we discovered a small group in our area doing a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class.  We hooked up with them, which led to us going to Gateway Church in Parkesburg.  This alone was worth everything we experienced, as it has been nothing but a blessing for our family: spiritually, emotionally, and financially!

Since taking this class, we have paid off close to $40,000 in consumer debt.  We can almost count on one hand now, how many more thousands to go, and are really really excited to be completely debt free.

One of the ways we kept sinking lower, was to put 50% of our take-home pay towards our mortgage.  This had to stop and we spent the last couple of years tweaking, but not successfully lowering our budget to fit the other 50%.  We worked with our mortgage company to see if we could refinance or do anything to help make it possible to keep the house.  The best they were able to do was make it so it was about 45% of our take-home pay.  This wouldn’t work either and we worked on actually paying our bills with cash and starting to chunk out our debt.  We tried to sell our house but it just didn’t sell.  Eventually, our mortgage went into default and we are now facing foreclosure if our house doesn’t sell.  Are we proud of this?  No.  It’s rather embarrassing, actually.  There’s nothing like making a bad choice which leads to awful consequences that everyone can see.  We’ve all done it.  It wasn’t easy for Matt to trade in his dream truck for something that is about as far from manly as you can get.  It isn’t easy to live like you can afford something until reality comes marching at your door and shows you otherwise.  We’re not proud of the decisions we made which got us to where we are.  But we are thankful for the chance to grow in wisdom and in closer dependence upon God.

The plain and simple reality is, we have so much to be thankful for.  We’ve gone through one of the top five things that cause divorce, and yet our love is even stronger for each other.  We’ve been humbled and forced to learn that contentment matters to God, not possessions.  I could go on and on about the lessons we’ve learned.  I could also go on and on about how God has provided for us.  While we’ve messed up, He’s forgiven and strengthened us for the task ahead.

While praying and seeking God’s will about where He wants us to move, I got really really discouraged.  I searched Craig’s list and came up with horrible dumps that fit our price range, or nice doable houses that fell way out of our price range.  Matthew has a favorite thing that he likes to tell me, “God hasn’t provided it yet, because it’s not needed yet.”  Time and again we are tested on that.  Well, school is starting up again and the Sheriff’s sale is quickly approaching.  Through friends at church we heard of a house in Coatesville for rent, so we checked it out.  After we looked through it I thought how perfect it would be.  I was expecting something out of our price range, and when the landlord told us how much I had a hard time not hugging him.  It was as if God was saying, “Go ahead and take it!  I saved this just for you.”

So, August 28th is our hopeful move-in date if everything gets finished that we need to do.  We are excited to move on to another chapter in our lives.  I will give more details of our move a little closer to the date.  But I’ve written enough and I have boxes to pack!