mommyhood

It’s A Colorful One

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

When trampolines come back into daily play, and the fridge once again empties without notice, it is a sure sign everyone is well again.  I am so thankful! DSC_8433-001

DSC_8441-001
I’m not sure everyone else is glad to be back into full-time schoolwork again, but they’ve been doing well.  It’s fun to catch them having fun while doing school. DSC_8640-001
Last Sunday we spent the day with Matt’s family.  The kids were well-entertained (maybe a bit too much so) with ginormous lollipops from a friend’s wedding.  After much licking, Elsie stuck out her tongue and said, Dad, look at my tongue!  It’s a colorful one, isn’t it?
 April 2013 DSC_8746-001
Tucked inside my week are always many excitements, unplanned occurrences, etc.  One such event involved smelling smoke from upstairs.  My internal Mommy smoke-detector went off and I ran downstairs to investigate.  An unnamed culprit had burned some papers inside the recycling bin.  Rightly scared, they took it outside to extinguish it better without further smokeage.  Fortunately no harm was done.  Unfortunately for them, Mom’s nose never lies.

We have hit the “When-it-gets-quiet-you’d-better-go-check” stage again.  This time it is with little Betty.  Powder all over her room.  Markers all over her body.  Oats all over the floor.  Scissors in hand.  It’s all or nothing, baby.  She wears her little pink flip flops backwards.  She works hard in the garden.  In addition to the messes and disasters throughout each day, another thing is for certain: at night, all is at rest, they are still, and we relish the gift of sleep.  The only thing they’re chasing are their dreams.

March 20135
The roller skates have come out in full force along with the crocuses and tulips.
DSC_8768-001
It’s hard to believe this little guy will be seven years old in three days!
DSC_8789-001

DSC_8805-001

DSC_8846-001

 

Sometimes when the snot is running, the tempers are ranting, the fridge is emptying, and the feet are stomping, I forget to breath.  Yet when those little arms squeeze my neck and those eyes look up at me with a grin, the snot and mess fades away.  In the really challenging moments, they need love.  Sometimes love is jumping on the trampoline until your hair stands on end.  Sometimes it looks like pancakes made from scratch.  Sometimes it means lying next to them way past their bedtime and reading one more book.  Sometimes it’s a sticky lollipop… a really big colorful one.

DSC_8939-001

Four Days in Ward 408

/ amylynw / 1 Comment

The fact that I’ve warmed up my tea six times in the past four hours is not a good sign.  Neither are the blankets, pillows and bowls scattered over the living room floor.  Since Monday at 1AM we’ve had three to five kids sick: blazing both ends, fevers and weakness.  Right now the count is at five.  I’ve never experienced this in my ten years of mommy-hood.  Usually one or two at a time, but never all at once and in such an acute, long drawn out fashion.  I have been keeping it together pretty well.  Until around 10:45, when I realized it is Thursday.  Thursday over here means I better not forget to move the van to the other side of the street, or else our city gets an extra Andrew Jackson in their bank account.  Ugh.  When I ran outside and saw the unhappy yellow slip on my windshield, I burst into tears, sobbing into the steering wheel.  Don’t they know I have sick kids and can’t think straight??!!  I yelled.  Nope.  No, they don’t.  But my wonderful Heavenly Father does.

He is right here.
But I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  Psalm 73:23

He loves them more than I do.  If I was living when Jesus was on this earth, I would have been one of those parents who brought their babies to Him, hoping He would touch them.  Luke 18:15-17

He is the Healer.
The Lord supports him on his sickbed; you completely heal him from his illness.  Psalm 41:3

He is my strength when I can’t do it anymore.
Assure me with these words: “I am your deliverer!”  Psalm 35:3
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you— yes, I help you— yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand!  Isaiah 41:10

So, one step at a time, we get through this trial.  There have been so many At Least moments this week.  At least I can be home and am not sick and can take care of them.  At least we have a working washing machine and beautiful sunny days to hang up wash on the clothes line.  At least we have water.  At least we are usually healthy!  God IS good, even when circumstances are horrible.  Just because we’re sick and tired doesn’t mean He took a vacation.  Just because I feel worn out, doesn’t mean He is.  He actually says that is when His strength is made perfect.  Not when everything is hunky dory and the sun is shining.  Nope.  His strength is perfect when we’re at our weakest, darkest, most vulnerable points in life.  That’s when His grace, strength, and glory really shine.

You know, this girl right here can’t handle another day in the hospital ward of my living room.  But because I have to, I’m forced to abandon my own strength and say it’s ALL Christ and NONE of me.   Hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.  Philippians 4:13

Time for a fresh cup of tea.

DSC_8317-002

At Least

/ amylynw / 1 Comment

I recently read an article which mentioned how saying At Least, when you’re about to blow up about something, can really help keep perspective.  See, keeping my cool doesn’t come naturally.  When several things bombard me each day to test my resolve, it’s not easy to keep the decibels low and the attitude right.  I’m finding at least has helped me tremendously not to dive-bomb into discouragement, anger and defeat.

Discovering my keys were locked in the van yesterday morning… again, I was upset.  At least I didn’t have to be anywhere, and many things were accomplished by being home all day.  In addition, someone else was able to find joy in helping me out of my predicament.  At least I have policemen for my friends!

Then last night I was moving the plastic slide from one spot in the yard to another.  The orange part came unattached and slammed down on my wrist.  It is still throbbing.  At least I can still move my arm.  At least my body knows how to heal.

Betty and the boys have been hanging out almost all week together while the older girls have had some time with Grandma Weldon.  Currently, they are practicing knife-throwing at a wooden target outside.  It was one of those moments where I almost told them they couldn’t do it.  Then I thought, at least they’re not playing video games and at least they’re outside and learning a skill.  I love that the target they drew is the Alley Cat.  The dreaded feline that poops in our garden and makes mommy mad.  Don’t worry, they won’t really kill it, all you cat-lovers out there.

IMG_0370

When I told them to get dressed, they reappeared from downstairs wearing the exact same clothes they wore yesterday.  The outfits that were just stuffed into the laundry basket after their bath last night.  When confronted with this information, I was answered in typical boyish fashion: But this is my favorite shirt!  I thought, why not?  What is the big deal, anyway?  At least there are two less outfits I need to wash this week.

Earlier in the week, we enjoyed a trip to the Franklin Institute with cousin Brian.  Betty stayed with Grandma Watt and we had a fabulous all-boys day, complete with Five Guys for the three guys.

March 20134

Betty is growing into her two-year-old-self very comfortably.  She’s learned how to utilize the faucet mechanism of her tear ducts and can turn them on and off quite quickly if she so desires.  Along with her strength of will and determination to communicate, she is growing in other areas too.  Going potty, getting herself dressed as much as she can, and sitting at the table more and more are just some of the ways she’s growing up.  When she cleans up, she does it 100 percent.  I will need this girl to keep me in line when I’m old and grey.

DSC_7863-002

On the flip side, when she makes messes, she does so 100 percent.  Take the tube of toothpaste all over the chair as one instance.

IMG_0371

She loves to eat wockles… or waffles.

DSC_7957-001

Elsie has been enjoying her pink robe.  She falls asleep in the funniest positions.  She is also full of the funniest things to say.  Look mom!  I can move my eyeballs!  She told me the other day, while she raised her eyebrows up and down.  Putting her hand over her heart, she told me, Mommy, my heart is beeping.

DSC_7933-001

Nadine is either exactly as tall as me, or a little taller.  She is good at taking her little sisters under her wing, though loves having her own space as well.  She loves a good s’more.  It is crazy to think how we’ve experienced a snowstorm, gardening, and roasting marshmallows, all in one week.  Yes, s’mores was our supper that night.

DSC_7966-002 DSC_7925-001 DSC_7914-001 DSC_7918-001 DSC_7910-001

As the clouds roll over the sun today, I’m reminded of a Friday no one thought was good, two-thousand years ago.  Day turned into night as God the Father left Jesus to suffer alone.  Our sin was too great for Him to see.  Then, darkness, sorrow, death.  Everything we experience without Jesus.

Then, the greatest AT LEAST in history.  At least it wasn’t the end.  God’s plan was finished, yes, but it was not the end.  At least after Friday, there comes Resurrection Sunday!  Jesus Rose From The Dead Day, as my brother-in-law has so fitly renamed it.  It’s not about eggs or jelly beans or hollow chocolate bunnies.  When Jesus rose from the dead, He did something no other god has done.  Because He didn’t stay dead, He gives us real victory over sin, real freedom from what trips us up, and real life from death.  At least it didn’t end on Friday.  Praise God!

DSC_7892-001

My Perfect Normal

/ amylynw / 2 Comments

 

Tonight as I sit and sip my Bavarian Wild Berry hot tea, I am plunging into the memories of the past week.  A wonderful weekend with my sisters and sister-friends.  These girls knew me way back when… I never wore shoes, lived in mango trees, and seldom took a shower.

DSC_6854-001

DSC_6870-001

Can you tell which ones are blood-sisters, and which are sister-friends?

DSC_6945-001

As I was thrown back into “normal”, I’m starting to swim again.  Before, I was gulping for air, unsure of where to put my feet, and had forgotten how to tread water.  Pennsylvania is vastly different from Haiti.  There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully put into words.  My heart has a hallowed pondering ground, where thoughts between me and the Lord reside.  I’ve been asking Him to give me the ability to come back and 100% accept and take on the responsibilities given to me today, here, and now.  It’s not worth my breath to compare myself, my life, or my experiences with any other person.   I am realizing how perfect my crazy, messy, full, busy, joyful, loud, spontaneous, and beautiful life is. It is just as it should be, and is custom-made for me by our Creative God.

This week was full of perfect examples.   An empty box, full of clementine peels, stashed in the living room.   Betty sitting on the kitchen floor, pink jammies covering her sweet piggies, reading out loud with a tiny pile of pretzels beside her.  Being called into the living room, in the flurry hour of supper-making and evening rowdies, to see the amazing sight of all five kids on top of Matthew’s back.  Are we heavy, Daddy?  Schoolwork, flips on the trampoline, haircuts, beautiful shows by the sun while I’m driving, painted nails, a lost tooth, oats in the hair, on the face, on the floor, spills, fights, apologies, notes, special deliveries, and more punctuated my normal week.

March 2013

Today Elsie was crying about a sore tooth.  After calling the dentist, I was able to come in right away.  It turns out my mad scheduling skills forgot about her and Jack’s  check-ups for over a year.  Thankfully, found out there was nothing wrong with her teeth except super sensitivity, was able to schedule Jack for tomorrow, and earned a pair of silly glasses as a reward.  Ironically, yet another child has an already-scheduled appointment the next day.  I think that’s a record for us. Three kids, three days in a row to the dentist.

Since this happens to be my birthday week, so far the icing on the proverbial birthday cake was my Ikea date yesterday with Mom & Heidi.  Mom brought mugs and teabags, I ordered chocolate cake and other yummies, and we sipped hot tea at the cafe, then enjoyed ourselves at Ikea for the afternoon!  Tomorrow I will be three times the age I was when I was one year older than Nadine is now.  Yep.

photo (1)-002

 

Empty Suitcases

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

Recently my prayer has been to change, to grow.  So He challenges me.  He pulls out all the stops until I’m left with nothing but His grace alone.  I’ve come face-to-face with the hard reality that our enemy isn’t after Christians who have everything to lose.  He’s after those who have nothing left to lose because they’ve given it all up for Christ.  Jesus is after total surrender.  I assumed that because we’re traveling to another country this week, God would keep us from sickness.  He is more concerned at honing my trust in Him than He is about keeping me comfortable.   As I washed sheets covered in vomit at dinnertime, then bathed another child reeking in their waste at midnight, I had to praise Him for the strength to do these things.  The water to wash.  The clean sheets to replace.  The comfort I could give.  As my tummy gurgles uncomfortably tonight I have to praise Him.  The other choice isn’t an option, because it will just keep me where I am, and I want to grow and change.

The suitcases sit empty, and I anticipate their filling soon.  As they are filled, I pray I would be emptied of myself so I have nothing but Christ to offer those He puts in my path.suitcase

The Snow Angels Declare

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

All week  I’ve been watching my little geranium about to bloom on the kitchen window sill.  This morning it was fully open.  It’s simply breathtaking to see a burst of living color in the dead of winter.  My eyes look at it, feeling starved.  I can’t stop drinking in its color and life!

DSC_3531

Now the snow is falling.  Of course the boys went right outside to play in it.  I happened to look out of the laundry room window to see them smiling at a pair of snow angels they just made.  I gave them a thumbs up and they grinned even bigger.  A few minutes later I heard their voices at the front door asking me to come and see something.  My first thought was, No thank you, I’d rather not risk being bitten by the snow.  However, an excitement in their voices drew me past even my annoyance of the cold.

Mom!  We made snow angels down the WHOLE sidewalk!  Sure enough, they did.

DSC_3544

When I turned to come back inside, Elijah said, Now everyone can see how great the glory of God is!

I am speechless.  What a way to look at everything we do.  All for the glory of God, so everyone can see how great and awesome He is!

Doing the Beautiful

/ amylynw / 2 Comments

Between the lines… what really happens?  More than I can write about.  I want these writings to be something my children can look back on and see… love… laugh… learn… remember.  This month has been full to the brim with adventures, excitement, ordinary happenings and trying ordeals.  Some days have felt full.  Others have felt more like everything has broken all around me and what was once beautiful is being spilled onto the floor and wasted.  But more on that later.

DSC_2946-001

Sometimes I feel like I’m looking in a mirror when I glance up at this girl.  She’s eye-level with me now.  When did this happen?

DSC_2105

Sometimes I am looking in the mirror.  Yes, I was rather grossed out to see there was enough dried-on toothpaste flung onto our bathroom mirror for someone to play tic-tac-toe on it.  Yes, I took a picture.  Because I know this aberration will not be seen when these kids have flown the coop and I have all day long to polish my bathroom mirrors.  That is what I’ll be doing, right?

DSC_2134-001

This guy’s blue eyes fill a special place in my heart.  They are the first to open in the morning.  They are tender with tears when he misses his little sister visiting Grandma.

DSC_2145-001

Way back on January 5th, we were woken up with rustling feet and excited voices.  Big sister pulled everyone’s signatures and proudly presented this card to us.  Then littlest sister proceeded to eat the breakfast I was served in bed.  It was a special morning, marking eleven years married to the love of my life.

DSC_2158-001

Before the leg was hurt, everyone enjoyed watching Daddy crank out some moves on his blades.

DSC_2178-001

Don’t be fooled by the princess helmet, polka-dot pants and Mary Jane shoes underneath those plastic fisher price wheels.

DSC_2179-001

This girl can bust out some moves of her own!

DSC_2830-001

Sometimes I have helpers in the kitchen.  Sometimes an egg beater covered in vanilla pudding is the trick to stopping the evening-blues that tend to hit sweet two-year-old girls.

DSC_2837-001

DSC_2850-001

Often there are hand stands, flips, break-dances, and other movements thumping the floor.

January 2013

After our December journeys, our van really did look that bad.  Not a speck of shine.  Since we had exactly enough money for a car-wash, we treated our van to a little pampering.  I’m not sure who was more excited: the kids or I.  Betty was in awe and when we exited the wash and kept saying, Again!  Again!

January 20131

Five days a week, there is school.  I relish the one-on-one times.  Jack is like an airplane who has stopped its taxi only to get faster until its airborne.  He is flying over obstacles, and getting better and better at sticking to a hard task until it’s finished.  The new camouflage overalls given to him recently have been a huge hit.

DSC_2811-001

Other spaces in my day find more messes.  More brokenness.  More being spilled out.  Sometimes I react like Jesus’ disciples did to the woman who broke a very expensive jar of perfume with which to anoint Jesus’ head:  Why this waste, Lord?  The time spent cleaning up, making beautiful, or saving for something special.  Then, disaster, messiness, shattered glass.  What’s the point?

DSC_2143-001

I hear Jesus speak in return to my disgust, my wondering, my anger.  You have done a good work for me…  You have done what you could.

Jesus never wastes trials.  Our perspective is so temporal.  It sees the shards.  He sees the end.

The ultimate brokenness was for you and for me.  He hung, perfect and sinless, bleeding and broken on a wooden cross.  More pain than shattered glass or ruined hopes.  In His brokenness, He crushed through the worst barrier separating us from God: sin.  While his mother wept and wondered at this loss, this waste of a perfect life… God saw the end.  He saw what we get to see now!  Resurrection power poured out on all who believe.  Forgiveness of sins.  Eternal life.  All because of brokenness.

Nothing we are going through is a waste.  He redeems, sweeps up broken pieces, restores, heals, forgives, and makes beautiful that which we thought was defective.  He turns what we think is worthless into something of unimaginable value.

So I will keep on doing what is before me.  What I can do.  I will give Him my best, my cracked, empty self.  Jesus says when we do this, we have done a beautiful thing for Him. (Mark 14:6)

Terrifical Twos

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

Click.  The dreadful sound of Betty locking herself in the bathroom.  Again.  It is futile to describe to her how to turn the old-fashioned lock on the other side.  One inch away, yet so very far.  So I don my imaginary cape and slip out Nadine’s bedroom window onto the steeper-than-I-remembered roof.  Again.  I’m sweating profusely in the January air.  I really hope I don’t start to slide.  Carefully, I crawl to the bathroom window, praying it’s not locked.  It’s difficult to open, but not impossible.  There she stands, in her baggy pink panties, yelling at her siblings through the door, oblivious to my presence behind her, climbing very awkwardly through the window.  I think if I had a real cape on, it would have looked more impressive.  I show her (again) how to turn the lock other other way, and we’re out in the hallway again!

Not a bad way to remember her 2nd birthday.  Little miss has been strutting around in panties too big for her, held up by a giant safety-pin.  She wants to sit on the potty all the time, but nothing comes out.  Every few minutes: Mommy!  Potty!  Then nothing.  Finally, about the fifty-third try: success!  That chocolate chip never tasted sweeter.  She loves to talk.  She, like her two siblings preceding her, loves oats.  Opes with bananas!   She loves to help unload the dishwasher with Nadine.  After they’re all finished, they bump the door closed with their bottoms.  She laughs every time.  We just love our Betty Ann.  Happy birthday, darling Betty!

DSC_2632-001
I’ve never liked the “terrible twos” title.  I think it boxes them in to being a certain way.  She has certainly found her voice and exerts her will, but are those terrible things to learn?  I can’t allow a stereotypical label dictate how I perceive or train her.  She is not trying to frustrate me, and I need to respond to her challenges with love and firmness.  It’s an hourly, sometimes moment-by-moment work.  It’s sweaty, tiring, and sometimes takes me away from my personal to-do’s.

We recently switched bedrooms around, and she is now sharing her little pink room with Elsie.  They are both thrilled with the arrangement.  Now the boys share the attic and Nadine has her own room.  She has been craving her own space, and feeling the age gap between her little sisters very keenly.  Other arrangements throughout the house have been an improvement on our space: switching the dining room table with the kitchen table, adding a shelf here or there, throwing more things away, doing a little tidying every day throughout the day.  Sometimes I feel like I’m growing up.

Maybe one day I’ll get that cape.