Nothing But Good Things

This week Matthew turned 32, meaning I have known him for exactly half of his life.  This week there have also been three incredible blessings as far as his health is concerned.  About a week ago he called me in tears, because he could actually hear me over the phone with his bad ear.  We’ve been experimenting with rubbing essential oil behind his ears, and will continue to do so.  Last weekend, he was able to see all 3 (out of 4) ENT’s at Jefferson hospital in Philly.  The ear guy is pretty sure his constant infection will clear once his sinuses get under control.  The nose guy agreed, as long as the throat guy thought putting him under was no longer risky.  After scoping him, the throat guy saw improvement from last time in his subglottic region and agreed to doing surgery.  So, on the 28th he is scheduled for a thorough cleaning out of his sinuses, and another balloon dilation of his stenotic area.  Today, he saw his rheumatologist who oversees his blood-work results and is in charge of his treatment.  He told Matthew he saw “Nothing but good things”, for which my heart is leaping with joy!  After surgery, he will begin weaning himself off of prednisone.  This all-too-familiar road is marked with many promises of God’s presence and goodness along the way.  We praise Him for today and the ability to live and breath and have each other!  This was the best birthday present ever!

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This week the crocuses started to show their happy faces in the garden!  When we were outside, unbeknownst to me, Betty picked all of them into a purple bouquet.  She came running over to me with a HUGE grin on her face.  I was very tempted to scold her for picking the ONLY flowers in our garden.  God spoke to me in that moment, through her joy and smile, and told me I would crush her spirit if I corrected her in impatience or anger.  So I knelt down and met her joyous face with my own smile.  Gratitude for her love gift made it even sweeter.
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Amidst the sweet, there is also the crazy.  If a video had been rolling  of our dinner the other night it would have looked a little bit like this:

Jack was karate-chopping carrots intermittently with a knife and then his hand.  Next to him, sat Elsie, singing “Let it Go” at the top of her lungs.  I looked across at Nadine, making crazy faces while Elijah went on and on about how her hair looks in the morning.  In addition to his narration, he continued to blather nonsense about gaseous terrain on the planet Venus.  Not to be undone, Betty stood in the middle of it all, crying with her stuffed animal in hand, because she didn’t like what was being served for dinner.  Matthew and I looked at each other.

Sometimes this is how life rolls.  It’s rough, it’s silly, it’s beautiful.  Full of good things.

Three-Four, Open The Door

March has a tendency to speed right along, almost as if it’s anticipating spring as much as the rest of us are.  It’s been a super fun-filled month so far.  Exactly three weeks until race day, the trail has seen a lot of my old sneakers.  Between miles there has been much chocolate, a medieval feast with friends (we are studying that period of history together), an Ikea trip with my sister and nieces, furniture painting, cute kids, field trips and birthday celebrations with friends.  There is much between the lines, many memories and blessings.  Lots of words are flying about in my  brain, unsettled as of yet; waiting for the unseen breeze to stop their spinning.  
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But right now, today, thirty-four is shaping up to be fabulous.  

Life At Three

Sometimes when I say our house needs cleaning, what I really mean is that I think we should move some gigantic pieces of furniture.  I look at our home like an ever-changing puzzle, the pieces of which fit in different places at different times.  This week, a harmless conversation about the little girls’ room staying clean, turned into a gargantuan project.  A job requiring paint, a drill, and hours of Matthew’s already full days.  I painted over the pink, and he cheerfully took apart bunk-beds, unscrewed shelves and heaved heavy mattresses from one room to the next.  The finished product: the girls switched rooms!  Nadine now has the slightly larger of the two, with a closet, and the little girls have the smaller one which limits how it can be arranged, but which suits their needs perfectly.  In addition, for Betty’s birthday we were able to acquire a fabulous Craigslist deal and get the girls a wooden play kitchen complete with fun wooden food.  All week there have been restaurant, pizza shop, and birthday party games going on for hours on end.

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Since Betty is now three, we told her she was too big for the pack n’ play.  Now she sleeps on the bottom bunk.  She also has kept her panties dry at night for almost two weeks!  We quit diapers at night, cold turkey, and she rose to the challenge.  It is so fabulous not having any diapers in our house, except the few her baby dolls wear.  I do believe it’s the first time in eleven years.  So far, being three years old is pretty awesome!

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Yesterday I had the joy of watching a baby boy come into the world.  I drove home as the sun rose, and was once again awed and amazed by the beauty of new life.
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Neigh-deen The Horse Whisperer

My horse girl had her dream-come-true birthday when she participated in her first horse show.  It’s been a little late in coming, but here are the pictures of our beautiful 11-year-old girl doing what she loves best!

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Those chocolate eyes do a much better job of melting than intimidating.

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The boys found a friend who shares Elijah’s birthday.  They had fun playing together and watched Nadine occasionally.

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Nadine won seven ribbons, including 2nd place for jumping!  She is so graceful on a horse!

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As her brother likes to say, You and Daddy named her neeeeigh-deen because she loves horses!  Well, that is not actually the reason, but it’s a fun play on words!  Way to go, baby girl!

 

Veggie Ice-Cream

Some days what is true just doesn’t match up with what I’m feeling.  For instance: I am so in love with my children, and think they are the best.  However, sometimes circumstances cause something inside me to go “snap!”  Like when a voice goes above a certain decibel, or when someone decides to shoot a nerf bullet at someone else’s eye right at bedtime.  I don’t feel the love when someone leaves the freezer just slightly open right before we head out the door, and I find out a few hours later.  My feelings are pretty much the opposite of warm and fuzzy when puddles of special ice-cream have melted into the peas and corn.  My feelings are a simmering pot of hot water when the dairy/veggie mush leads to an entire deep cleaning of the refrigerator and freezer.  I am thankful I can go grocery shopping.  But sometimes dragging five kids in the rain to my least favorite store makes my blood start a slow and steady boil.  I have never had to do this before, but when one of my unnamed children decided to throw their flip-flop as high as they could in the middle of aisle seven, this mama had to climb the shelves like a ladder and pull it out from between the bags of flour on the top shelf.  Excuse me if I step on your groceries.

I love being a mom, but there are times I don’t feel it.

The truth is, I am so incredibly thankful for our home.  Yet sometimes my emotions start dictating thoughts of discontent over the color of my walls or the state of my sofa.  Right now, our laundry room is being refinished.  The floor is gorgeous.  Soon the rest will be as well.
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Until it is finished, I am living out the book, “It Could Always Be Worse”.  If I thought my kitchen felt tight or crowded, a good solution is to bring the washer, dryer, linens, and a dresser in to join the chaos.  Now I am cooking and canning while maneuvering around a dresser.  I plop the kids wherever there is a clean corner of the table, which juts out into the middle of the kitchen.  I have to crawl under the table to fetch the parchment paper or griddle.  The laundry is quickly piling up, because when there is an average of ten dirty outfits a day (factoring in boys), going on a week without a washer, works out to be about seventy outfits needing to be laundered.  It could always be worse.
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So since the kitchen is a mess, we celebrated Nadine’s birthday at Hibachi.  Their faces say it all:
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I am so thankful truth is not based on feelings.  I’m also thankful for rescued flip-flops, clean freezers, and laundry-free days.

Life Unedited

Today as I went to make our bed, I turned down the sheets to discover a small baby doll with lots of purple corn chips scattered around her.  She lay quietly in the sheets and I could tell she didn’t want anyone to know about the chips.  I had to choose a smile over a bubbling up annoyance.  I wonder what was going through that little mind while they ate chips in Daddy & Mommy’s bed.  I also wonder what my reaction would have been had I climbed into bed tonight in the dark and felt those things crunch beneath me.  I’d say their pain level upon contact with skin is akin to legos.

Elsie learned how to ride a two-wheeler all by herself this weekend.  One push, and she was off.  Someone generously gave her their old hand-me-down which fits her perfectly, and now she is cruising around the block like she’s always known how.  In a dress, no less.
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She also has her first loose tooth.  She is full of her typical, inquisitive conversation.  Today she chattered with me the entire time I buried 78 bricks around our side garden.  Or it might have been 104.  Or 42.  The number kept changing as she kept count.  I didn’t keep track of her questions and observations because my hands were covered in dirt and couldn’t write anything down, but I know I chuckled a lot.
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Spaghetti and Daddy rhyme when they come out of Betty’s mouth.  Both bring excitement.  Other things make her excited too.  Playing hide-and-seek… which by the way happens in her world whenever she sees anyone.  She will almost always yell, Got you! whenever someone walks into a room.  She is learning the fine art of not always getting what she wants.  I think we all deal with disappointment each day, but Betty likes to show it in full: crocodile tears and all.  Either that, or The Slanted Eyes Look.  Actually, as I type this paragraph (this afternoon) the world is crumbling at the fact she can. not. have. a. banana. right. now.
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Our egg carton seedlings are growing well, and we’ve been making all sorts of fun things outside in the garden.  Once things start to grow, I’ll put some before and after photos!  Stay tuned for June and July garden pictures!   Right now the tulips are blooming.  Some unedited shots of those beauties:
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One of our many garden projects includes vertical gardens!  Matthew created some fabulous palette garden beds and they’re in the midst of getting filled with dirt and seeds.  Soon we’ll be making some honeymoon salad: lettuce alone.
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Speaking of being alone, that doesn’t happen very often around here.  I even caught myself yelling from the shower today, You don’t need me!  If there isn’t blood, you don’t need me!  Talk to me after I get out of the shower!  No joke, the aforementioned caller hadn’t needed me for the previous hour.  It was only the moment the warm water hit my aching head that the urgency struck them like a bad bladder.  Nope.  Didn’t need me.  I have actual footage I took of Betty sliding things under the bathroom door, saying, Mommy… Mommy… Mommy… while I tried to get five minutes peace.

Matthew also chopped down three trees that were overtaking the electrical wires, and he will be building a shed to house the bikes and mower and outside toys.  The same day our trampoline ripped from side to side.  Twenty-four hours later, our Heavenly Father, who knows just how much our kids live and breathe on our trampoline, replaced it for free tonight!  It’s even bigger and nicer than our old one.  He’s a wonderful Dad, who knows our desires and loves to give us good gifts.
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When the boys were playing hockey last week I ran out on the rink to take pictures.  Elijah said, There’s a fan on the court… She’s a big fan of Matthew Weldon.  You got that right, buddy!  The other night we ate our supper after the kids went to bed, outside in front of the fire-pit.  I am a really big fan of him.
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On Sunday, Jack turned seven!  What a hunk of love.
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He built the Eiffel Tower all by himself.  All day today he had the perfect tuft of bed head going on, making me smile.  He is a conscientious little guy who likes to pack his own bag, make things straight, and color inside the lines.  He loves hard and deeply.  His heart aches for those who are sick.  He is loyal, seeks justice, and loves gifts.  His metabolism is always burning full steam ahead and he eats more apples and carrots in one day than most people do in one week.  He longs for Heaven.  We love you, Jack!
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I Ate A Carrot Once

 

 

Well, I finally found the Happy in my Birthday banner.  Our sweet Elsie Rose is five years old.  She writes, she nibbles off parts of her ABC crackers to spell her name correctly, she is full of hilarity.  Today while she and Betty were driving with my mom to Bible school, my mom pointed out that there was a lot of traffic and she could see a long line of cars behind them.  After turning around, she asked my mom, Why are so many cars following us?  Then tonight at dinner, we were discussing carrots.  Elsie is not a fond eater of veggies, although we sneak them into her diet many tricky ways.  While discussing carrots, mainly the one-foot-long carrot Jack was eating, Elsie put her chin in her hand and noted:  I ate a carrot once.  Just once.  That was enough.  Probably never again.  We’ll see about that.

This week I was pretty sick.  I’ve been hanging onto a cough for a few weeks and my kindly brother-in-law doctor gave my lungs a listen and put me on some meds.  Tonight I feel the best I’ve felt for awhile, so praying I’m truly on the mend.  I won’t put pictures on here of how the house looked at its worst.  Let’s just say: Mom’s Can’t Get Sick!  Highlights would be the erector-set flower Elijah made for me, Matt’s sister coming for a day to teach the kids Science, hand-holding, robe-sleeping children, creative minds, eclectic outfits, my mommy making me dinner, homemade Indian food with friends,  flurries along with crocuses, a clean bathroom, hot tea with friends, and a taste of spring!

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The older three kids even got to tour The Master’s Baker, owned by some awesome relatives of ours.  It was such a treat!

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Well, my tea is cold, my rice-bag is warm, and my bed is calling.  Good night.

Where Is The Happy?

Yesterday, as we celebrated Elsie’s 5th birthday, it marked the end of my birthday week.  I actually thought her birthday was today.  As she went to bed on Sunday night she told me in her sweet little voice, I’m not going to be grumpy anymore!  When I asked why, she told me, Because the day after tomorrow is my birthday!  I was pretty tired and took her word for it.  Not until I woke up yesterday and saw some special birthday emails for her, did I realize that yes, indeed, it was her birthday.  Please tell me something like that has happened to another mom out there.  So, I scrounged in my secret trunk trying to find and hang up the Happy Birthday banner I made for such occasions.  All I came up with was BIRTHDAY.  Where is the HAPPY?!  I kept asking myself.  Before I go into more of her surprise (for me) birthday, let me back up a week and divulge all the fun that was had the past week.

It all started on my birthday, when the three older kids came with Matthew & I on a road trip to NJ.  We drove 3 hours there and 3 hours back, with about 45 mins in NJ total.  It was work-related, so nothing too exciting.  The highlight was hitting the beach for fifteen minutes.

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I had some wonderful friends over that night for tea and snacks and a whole lot of fun.  The next day I was served breakfast in bed by my oldest.  She loves to do this.  The rest of the week was full of dentist appointments, Betty learning to put the car windows down with her bare little toes streeetching across her carseat, sweet sleeping children, lincoln log creations, school, tea, and much more.

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Then came Friday.  After dropping off the kids, Matthew and I spent the weekend away.  What a wonderful time.  Becoming disconnected happens so quickly!  As it should be, we have both changed and grown, and sometimes we miss that happening and we look at the other as if they are a stranger we should know, but don’t. It was a treat and a blessing to have this time.

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From the beautiful inns where we stayed, to the memories made, it was a weekend to remember!

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The week was completed with an impromptu meeting with dear, old friends.

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There’s the Happy.

 

 

My Perfect Normal

 

Tonight as I sit and sip my Bavarian Wild Berry hot tea, I am plunging into the memories of the past week.  A wonderful weekend with my sisters and sister-friends.  These girls knew me way back when… I never wore shoes, lived in mango trees, and seldom took a shower.

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Can you tell which ones are blood-sisters, and which are sister-friends?

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As I was thrown back into “normal”, I’m starting to swim again.  Before, I was gulping for air, unsure of where to put my feet, and had forgotten how to tread water.  Pennsylvania is vastly different from Haiti.  There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully put into words.  My heart has a hallowed pondering ground, where thoughts between me and the Lord reside.  I’ve been asking Him to give me the ability to come back and 100% accept and take on the responsibilities given to me today, here, and now.  It’s not worth my breath to compare myself, my life, or my experiences with any other person.   I am realizing how perfect my crazy, messy, full, busy, joyful, loud, spontaneous, and beautiful life is. It is just as it should be, and is custom-made for me by our Creative God.

This week was full of perfect examples.   An empty box, full of clementine peels, stashed in the living room.   Betty sitting on the kitchen floor, pink jammies covering her sweet piggies, reading out loud with a tiny pile of pretzels beside her.  Being called into the living room, in the flurry hour of supper-making and evening rowdies, to see the amazing sight of all five kids on top of Matthew’s back.  Are we heavy, Daddy?  Schoolwork, flips on the trampoline, haircuts, beautiful shows by the sun while I’m driving, painted nails, a lost tooth, oats in the hair, on the face, on the floor, spills, fights, apologies, notes, special deliveries, and more punctuated my normal week.

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Today Elsie was crying about a sore tooth.  After calling the dentist, I was able to come in right away.  It turns out my mad scheduling skills forgot about her and Jack’s  check-ups for over a year.  Thankfully, found out there was nothing wrong with her teeth except super sensitivity, was able to schedule Jack for tomorrow, and earned a pair of silly glasses as a reward.  Ironically, yet another child has an already-scheduled appointment the next day.  I think that’s a record for us. Three kids, three days in a row to the dentist.

Since this happens to be my birthday week, so far the icing on the proverbial birthday cake was my Ikea date yesterday with Mom & Heidi.  Mom brought mugs and teabags, I ordered chocolate cake and other yummies, and we sipped hot tea at the cafe, then enjoyed ourselves at Ikea for the afternoon!  Tomorrow I will be three times the age I was when I was one year older than Nadine is now.  Yep.

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Terrifical Twos

Click.  The dreadful sound of Betty locking herself in the bathroom.  Again.  It is futile to describe to her how to turn the old-fashioned lock on the other side.  One inch away, yet so very far.  So I don my imaginary cape and slip out Nadine’s bedroom window onto the steeper-than-I-remembered roof.  Again.  I’m sweating profusely in the January air.  I really hope I don’t start to slide.  Carefully, I crawl to the bathroom window, praying it’s not locked.  It’s difficult to open, but not impossible.  There she stands, in her baggy pink panties, yelling at her siblings through the door, oblivious to my presence behind her, climbing very awkwardly through the window.  I think if I had a real cape on, it would have looked more impressive.  I show her (again) how to turn the lock other other way, and we’re out in the hallway again!

Not a bad way to remember her 2nd birthday.  Little miss has been strutting around in panties too big for her, held up by a giant safety-pin.  She wants to sit on the potty all the time, but nothing comes out.  Every few minutes: Mommy!  Potty!  Then nothing.  Finally, about the fifty-third try: success!  That chocolate chip never tasted sweeter.  She loves to talk.  She, like her two siblings preceding her, loves oats.  Opes with bananas!   She loves to help unload the dishwasher with Nadine.  After they’re all finished, they bump the door closed with their bottoms.  She laughs every time.  We just love our Betty Ann.  Happy birthday, darling Betty!

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I’ve never liked the “terrible twos” title.  I think it boxes them in to being a certain way.  She has certainly found her voice and exerts her will, but are those terrible things to learn?  I can’t allow a stereotypical label dictate how I perceive or train her.  She is not trying to frustrate me, and I need to respond to her challenges with love and firmness.  It’s an hourly, sometimes moment-by-moment work.  It’s sweaty, tiring, and sometimes takes me away from my personal to-do’s.

We recently switched bedrooms around, and she is now sharing her little pink room with Elsie.  They are both thrilled with the arrangement.  Now the boys share the attic and Nadine has her own room.  She has been craving her own space, and feeling the age gap between her little sisters very keenly.  Other arrangements throughout the house have been an improvement on our space: switching the dining room table with the kitchen table, adding a shelf here or there, throwing more things away, doing a little tidying every day throughout the day.  Sometimes I feel like I’m growing up.

Maybe one day I’ll get that cape.