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Finishing With A Smile

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

The weekend has come and gone.  Hours of preparation, driven into the pavement, mile by mile.  The weather this year was amazing.  I even had to wear a jacket through the night to ward off feeling chilly.

On Friday evening, we delivered the three youngest to my in-laws and picked up Matthew’s race packet.  He got checked out by the race doctors, and then we went home to rest.  I barely slept, full of excitement and wonder for the following two days.  On Saturday morning I drove to Philly to drop him off at the start line, with his cooler of food and drinks, and said good-bye.  Then I drove with a friend to drop Nadine off at girl’s camp for the week!    Elijah went with my mom where he then was driven to soccer camp on Sunday.  What a crazy, emotional day of saying goodbye!

By the time I finished dropping her off and made my way back to Philly, it was about 7:30 pm.  I drove the race loop where Matthew was running, in hopes of seeing him.  I found him around mile 3 of 8.  He was with his buddy from high-school.  What a blessing, since the previous few hours he had been struggling with some major stomach discomfort.  When he made it back to the start/finish line, he lay down on the ground and said he felt like throwing up.  His stomach was not happy.  At this point in time, a slew of friends and family had arrived, and we chatting around him, some praying, some just talking.  We waited it out for an hour or so before he finally sat up and ate something that agreed with him.

The next two loops were run with different friends.  I was able to pray and see the lights of Philadelphia in the middle of the night.   Then two girl friends of mine came to sit with me through the night.  I never felt alone, which had been one of my anxieties.  I didn’t realize how much this had been weighing on me until I sat there with them.  It was pretty special.  How important it is to be there for one another!

Once 4 am rolled around, my half-marathon buddy, Gail, and I fast-walked with Matthew through the dawn.  It was incredible starting off at night and ending in day.  We met a fellow lone ranger on the path who was pretty discouraged, and he started to keep pace with Matthew.  Once we finished that loop, it was already 6 am, and so Matthew started out for his 10th loop and then some, alone.  The total mileage he logged was 88.5.  His goals were to finish at 10am, have fun, finish with a smile, and be able to walk to the car unassisted.  He did all these things, and I couldn’t be more proud.

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1- Our last time all together for a week!
2- One last nap, storing up reserves
3,4- Getting all checked in for race day!
5- Lots of melon for the runner
6- When I first spotted Matthew, 9 hours into the race.  I beeped my horn like a crazy woman and cried a bit too.
7- A four-year tradition of sidewalk chalk
8- Servant-friends, helping Matthew through the hardest part of the night
9- An art museum steps walk/talk/prayer time
10- Hot tea, words of encouragement and lots of love
11- Almost there
12- Sleep for a long time
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He ended with a smile.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
2 Timothy 4:7

A Happy Time

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I don’t recall what we were about to do or where we were going to prompt Elsie to say it, but she made me chuckle with this:  I’m going to have a happy time, even if it’s boring!   Now that summer is in full swing, the words “I’m bored” are about as allowed as some other unmentionable words in the urban dictionary.  When they are uttered, a math lesson is swiftly pulled up on the computer, or perhaps the boredom quickly fades as they don a pair of goggles, pull out monopoly, shoot a home-made movie, or delve into the many library books I keep constantly in flow.  DSC_2041

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This week was so full I feel like I’m bursting a little bit.

Any week where we can be altogether for six days in a row is going to be good.  Unfortunately, every kid had a fever sprinkled into the entire week at some point in time.  Thankfully, no throwing up, but a lot of laying low.  Matthew finished my laundry room window, fixed this and that, hung this, moved that… basically filled up my love tank with acts of service mingled with quality time.  I worked on various projects: crocheting a rug out of old sheets, making some chalkboards, beautifying our front porch, and organizing our school room a bit more.
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Next, our dear friends, Ruthie & Jamie, arrived from Ohio to share our vacation time with us.  We enjoyed the front porch, got wet, went to a water/amusement park, and laughed a lot.  One night I even had the privilege of being a doula with an incredibly special couple and their precious baby girl.
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The kids found a turtle and named it Road Runner after they rescued it from trying to cross the street.
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While at the park, I learned how much Betty loves roller-coasters.  If she was a bit taller, she would have gone on everything, but she was content to do the roller coaster her size.  Her smiling face as she swooped down the hill of the coaster was absolutely priceless.  Falling from 148 feet with Jack and Nadine was also a highlight.  I’ve learned that I’m a bit more scared than I used to be of heights in general.  Phone Photos11
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Nadine came down for her breakfast today and was asking me how Matthew made her bagel.  Do you know how Daddy made that bagel yesterday?  Because it was amazing.  It was because there was a hint of Daddy in it.  I know he used butter…  When I asked her how it tasted after she made it, she said,  It wasn’t even close.  Sometimes she takes my breath away.DSC_2462-2 DSC_2460-2
One of my painting projects was a “new” dresser.  I got the dresser for $10 at a yard sale and surprised Nadine with it.

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As all the fevers floated around, I overheard this funny conversation between Elsie and Betty:
I have a headache, said Elsie.
Where? asked Betty.
Right here in my head! said Elsie with a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

When Elsie struck up this conversation with Betty she was just stating a fact, which apparently was missing a very important detail in Betty’s little mind: You were sick, she stated.
No I wasn’t!
You you were!
I were last night!  Of course.  Last night.  She likes to be precise.

Betty is learning her numbers, and I couldn’t help chuckling when she got to twenty-nine and said: Two=dy nine!
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As June turns the page into July, there is more fun in store!  Summer is such a happy time!

Thirteen Is Odd

/ amylynw / 1 Comment

The times I feel odd happen frequently.  Maybe because I’m born on an odd-numbered day.   Sometimes I feel this way because of something I have: You have five children?  People say, as if having any number over four has basically become as astronomical as living on Mars.  Sometimes it’s because of something I do: You homeschool your kids?  I could never do that.  I’m never sure if that statement is supposed to make me feel better or worse than them.  It always makes me feel odd, though.  Sometimes I also feel it because of something I don’t do: You don’t wash your hair?  Ok, I admit, even I thought that was weird a few months ago.  But when one suffers relentlessly from dandruff, one will do almost anything, including the crazy, to be rid of those unwanted snowflakes which aren’t really snowflakes at all.  Plus they never melt.  Maybe I’ll do another post on that one a different day.

Lately, I’ve felt especially odd as I ran through the coldest, snowiest and sometimes most beautiful of days.  Eight weeks ago I wasn’t quite sure about running one mile.  Even the day before yesterday, I wasn’t quite sure about it:

"This is how I'm feeling about tomorrow," I wrote on Saturday.

“This is how I’m feeling about tomorrow,” I wrote on Saturday.

Yesterday, I set out to do 13, with about 10,000 other oddities in the Philly Love Run.  Finally, I’m not odd.  Everyone, a common goal.  Everybody screaming you on to finish.

Miles 1-5 were relatively smooth.
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By mile 6, the rain was pretty heavy.  My friend, Gail, and I ran together.  We would laugh at how the rain pooled up inside our jacket sleeves.  Whenever we straightened out our arms, rivers of water poured out like faucets.  I stopped avoiding puddles and my sneakers spoke a second language, sounding a lot like: squish, squelch, squish, squelch. DSC_1063-2 DSC_1066-2
Around mile 9 my legs felt a more like iron mixed with mush, and less like muscles and tendons.  I was so hungry at mile 10, that when someone handed me a Swedish Fish candy, it tasted like a ten-dollar dessert.  I savored the sugary calories stuck in my teeth for a few minutes.  At mile 11 we ducked under an overpass to stretch one last time.

We snapped our only mid-run photo under the overpass.

We snapped our only mid-run photo under the overpass.

The deluge had turned to drizzle, but the cold was starting to cramp different parts of my legs.  After a minute, we set off to whip those last miles into oblivion.  At mile 12, the welcome sight of Philadelphia’s Boathouse Row came into view.  As we approached mile 13, I had some emotional moments inside my head and heart.  This is what it’s like to finish, I thought.  It hurts.  It’s beautiful.  It’s thrilling.  It’s really, really hard.  For a few seconds I was given a quick glimmer of life’s finish line.  Like an instagram from Heaven.  We will look back and think:  That was so hard.  How did I get through it?  Wow, life was so amazing.  So difficult.  Beautiful.  Rewarding.  Painful.  So worth every second.
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Unlike our eternal finish line when we’re finally Home, the thrill of this finish line was quickly replaced with the need for warmth and sustenance.  We found our husbands, cheering under an umbrella.  Then we squelched through inches of mud to receive our reward: a cool medal and a bag of potato chips (among other snacks, but the chips stood out to me the most).  DSC_1083-2

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It was a grand memory.  I couldn’t have done it without the constant cheering of Matthew and Gail.  Many others encouraged me as well, and you know who you are.  And just like people ask you if you’re ever going to have more kids, the second after your baby pops into the world: YES, I’m going to keep running.  Is that odd?
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Going to Space & Down Here on Earth

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The past two weeks have been so full of life and surprises and furniture renewal.  Matthew bought me a new chair for my birthday.  As I sunk down into its beautiful grey comfort, I stared at my dresser.  Ugly couldn’t describe it fully.

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So, in typical head-long fashion, I set off to remedy this problem.  I’ve been stung by many a bee in my bonnet.  The finished product:DSC_0706
Five birds flying from the nest, represent our five kiddos, with Matthew and I sticking together for life.  The tree has our initials carved in it, reminiscent of the tree at our old house where I carved our initials, about four years before we were even married.
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Soon I will post pictures of how I didn’t stop at just the dresser, because once I saw how clean and new it looked, I thought the walls needed a face-lift as well.  This turned into a full-fledged makeover, which in turn led to another purging throughout the house.  Life multiplies in so many ways.

Our girls are growing up so quickly.
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Last weekend our family went rock-climbing.  The last time we went, those little feet belonging to the orange shoes were inside my belly!
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This time, they scaled the walls!
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A couple of weeks ago we had a medieval feast with some friends from school.  We are finishing up studying medieval times in history.  So we ate chicken and potatoes off of our trenchers, and drank sparkling grape juice out of our goblets.  Wooden bowls, no utensils (except spoons) and costumes made our feast super memorable.
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Other fun school activities included going to the Franklin Institute last week.  Our friend did a great job demonstrating an astronaut’s suit on a budget:
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Elsie was chosen to shoot off a bottle rocket.  Her little self was so cute up there on the stage.
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We had an amazing surprise that afternoon after our field trip.  More on that later.  Someone needs yogurt.  “Seriously, Mom,” she says to me.  (She’s three.)  “Just a little bit?”

Three-Four, Open The Door

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March has a tendency to speed right along, almost as if it’s anticipating spring as much as the rest of us are.  It’s been a super fun-filled month so far.  Exactly three weeks until race day, the trail has seen a lot of my old sneakers.  Between miles there has been much chocolate, a medieval feast with friends (we are studying that period of history together), an Ikea trip with my sister and nieces, furniture painting, cute kids, field trips and birthday celebrations with friends.  There is much between the lines, many memories and blessings.  Lots of words are flying about in my  brain, unsettled as of yet; waiting for the unseen breeze to stop their spinning.  
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But right now, today, thirty-four is shaping up to be fabulous.  

End of February Highlights

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There is no such thing as an empty week in this household.  Snow forts, lots of books, and fun with friends were just some of the highlights.
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The girls are often dressing up… here are a few shots of Elsie twirling.  Her dream is to take ballet soon.
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The ice-caked trees never cease to amaze me with their beauty.  Entombed in glass, one day soon they will come back to life.
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Betty loves to help shovel snow.  Trouble is, there are no shovels her size.  My garden trowel is a good substitute for now.
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Jack had a small run-in with a shovel one night.
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School sometimes includes looking through the dictionary.  It’s not hard to believe how funny they found the word “underpants”.
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This week we also began nature journals.  I love how most of them spoke of spring, while drawing snowflakes.
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Betty enjoys playing the little games I find online.
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The highlight of my week happened on Monday when my dear sweet friend, Sarah (who lives in England), showed up at my front door.  She and I spent a few hours together in the city.   We’ve known each other for over half of our lives.  It’s a beautiful thing when entire continents and years can’t stop friendship from growing.
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Patchwork Tea

/ amylynw / Leave a comment

I crave two things almost equally every day: quality time with people and… chocolate.  When an afternoon of tea with a friend is complimented with chocolate, it is pretty close to perfection. I am convinced if we spent less time stalking people from the comfort of our computer screens and more time actually getting to know them, we would be a much happier people.  Because if you just read my definition of a perfect afternoon and thought how pristine, calm and cozy that sounded, you may have gotten the wrong impression.  If you were here, you would have known how messy, loud and chilly it actually was… what with the mud, glitter, snacks, questions and the constantly opening door to the outside, all going on between sips and words.  My definition of perfect rarely, if ever, equals calm, quiet, neat or tidy.

Not one moment after I poured the tea, hungry child number one came into the kitchen:
Mom?  I’m hungry.
Ok.  Go outside and play for a while, then you can have a snack.  
We sat down, took one sip of tea, and began our conversation.  No sooner has someone heard us swallow before coming in to ask:
Mom?  Can I eat something?
No, go outside with your sibling and play first.  Don’t forget to shut the door!
We continued our conversation, seamlessly blending our last sentence into our next.  The interruption is merely like a breath between words.  Another breath:
Mom?  What can I eat?  I’m hungry!  
Another child walked into the kitchen.  I’m hungry too!
Go outside!  And shut the door behind you!
We entered back into the conversation.  It’s okay if we can’t remember where we left off, because mommy brains are used to forgetting.
Another poor unsuspecting child asks for food.  To me, it’s as if the same child has asked for a snack five times, when in reality it is a different child with the same song, fifth verse.  Mom?  I’m so hungry!  
Go outside!  And shut the door behind you!
A few minutes later, three children were eating apples and yogurt.

The door going outside opened and closed at least fifty-three times over the course of tea.  Thankfully, there is always hot water and good conversation in abundance.  Skinned knees, glitter, and more quests for food rounded out the afternoon.  Not quite like how “tea” is pictured in my head when I say it, but it’s better somehow.  There is no show, just a lot of love.  Conversation is pieced together like a patchwork quilt, all mismatched yet perfect.  Beauty is not in decor but in the person sharing that moment.  There is nothing expensive, but time is priceless.

Hospitality is not something we must perfect before we do it.  Have you ever tried to become perfect at playing the piano without ever practicing first?  The Bible says we are to practice hospitality.  No where does that mean your house has to be of a certain size, status of clean, or must you have matching dishes in order to be hospitable.  It simply means you exude a welcoming spirit into your home and your life.  We have sat on buckets as chairs, yet felt like kings and queens, because of love.  We have also sat on the finest couches and eaten off matching dishes and felt as if we were intruders.  Love opens the china closet and serves the finest wine.  Love makes time and never looks at its watch.  Love is measured not in what you give, so much as in what you hold back.  Until my breath is gone, or the city water supply runs dry, I can always offer a cup of water… preferably hot, poured over a tea bag. DSC_9320

Everything New Today, or ENT

/ amylynw / 1 Comment

As usual, this week has passed about as quickly as the wind that whips my hair through the open windows of the car.  This phone dump is a smattering of what has blown through this week:

My life, in our van, is always noisy.  I admit, I’m jealous of folks who say their kids get sleepy in the car.  Ours tend to go a bit wild.  They tell jokes, do anything and everything to annoy their neighbor, cry, sing, tattle, and do whatever it takes to not fall asleep.  I experienced an almost-flat tire last Saturday.  When I drove into the gas station to check it out, I hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet when a very nice man started to pump up my visibly flat tire.  Turns out there was a screw in there, and was easily fixed later.

A city date with friends did my claustrophobic mommy-heart good.  There are some days when the walls of home and car seem very tight, and the expanse of the city line eases the life-is-closing-in-feeling.  We ate at an Ethiopian restaurant which served stellar samosas, delicious dinner and the most amazing coffee I’ve ever had.  It was so good, that I tried my hand at cooking it at home, with great success and happiness.

Another highlight was our 10-10 at 10:10 date to get Elsie’s cast off her arm!  With a clean bill of health, she is back to speeding across monkey bars.

This week it was an honor seeing my 4th and 5th grade teacher from when I lived in Africa.  When time telescopes like this, I shake my head in wonder at how I have such clear memories of when I was as old as two of my children.

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Other highlights include the fact that I need reading glasses.

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Yesterday, two of my accessory-loving children got into my closet.  It was a much-needed diversion from school.

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Then somehow the outfit helped Jack get through the rest of his work a little easier.

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Cooking is on an upswing for me, after a long bout in non-inspiration land.

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Matthew visited the ENT this week and found out he has a yeast infection in his throat, so he’s on medicine for that now.  His voice continues to be hoarse and he’s trying to rest it as much as possible.  Otherwise, he feels well.  In the next couple of weeks he needs to meet up with the plastic surgeon who did the surgery on his eyes a couple of years ago.  We will need to set up a long-term game plan for possible future reconstructive surgery of his sinus area.   The bridge of his nose is collapsing, and before a situation might become emergent, we need to figure out some possible courses of action.  We would love to stop the medical dates, trips to the pharmacy, and be immune to disease.  Yet, we know Jesus more through trial than through ease.  We grow when the weight is heavy, not light.  This temporary home loses much of its charm when it’s full of trouble, and our heavenly home grows more beautiful.  Knowing every situation is allowed by God who knows and loves us more deeply than we’ll ever understand, gives comfort and peace beyond explanation.  One day ENT will have a new meaning for us: that day when Jesus makes everything new.  Everything New Today… might be today!

 

We Are Glad

/ amylynw / 3 Comments

Sitting in the hospital gives you a lot of time to think.  Matthew has had a pretty good day, after a more scary evening yesterday.  Every moment is such a gift!  Finding joy in God’s word, humor in little things, and I did some push-ups and squats for Matthew.  Not exactly what the cardiac floor is used to, I suppose.  (By the way, his heart is great, it just helps them monitor him better by being on this floor.)
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We miss our babies, but are so thankful for family close by who are taking such good care of them for us.  We love flipping out the nurses by telling them we have five kids.  The boys made cards for Matthew and Elijah’s said, Be brave.

I jotted some funnies down from the past two weeks.

After explaining something to Jack, he said to me, I’ve been growing, and…I have listening ears now… Finally.

 

Betty is becoming more and more vocal.  A few weeks ago we were looking at the birthmark on the back of her arm and she said, I have a birk!  She loves to say, Hey, Mommy!  Hey, Mommy!  Over and over until I respond.  And then she’ll say it again.  She had an awful virus the past 10 days that affected her mouth, but I hear from Grandma that she is eating and talking just like herself now.

Elsie dreams of being a ballerina.  As she donned her ratty tutu and sparkly hello kitty shoes she told me how it all could go: You can put pony tails in my hair, go to the store, get ballerina shoes, and take me to ballerina class!  

As we were driving, I asked her to pray.  So she started praying and it went something like this:  Thank you for this day, thank you for our car… punch-buggy white!  And please help us drive safely…  I love her thought process!  She also is the best at playing punch-buggy!  A very observant little girl.

As we hang out, I’ve reflected over the past couple of weeks in pictures.

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Left to Right, starting from the top, here are some of my favorite memories of the past two weeks:

Reading Pat the Bunny on the front porch five times in a row.  Betty would always kiss the page with Daddy’s scratchy face.
Matthew fixed the over-heating problem we were having with the van!  After hours of grease and sweat, he beat the heat.
Our neighbor gave us their old queen-sized bed.  Around 10 PM the men got stuck half way up the stairs with the box spring.  Not only did they sawzall it to make it work, but then Matthew reconstructed it so we could sleep there that night.  It is SO comfortable and makes me feel like a queen!
Sick little Betty snuggling in aforementioned bed with sick daddy.
On good days, Matthew had been working on our backyard shed!  It looks so nice, and is almost finished!
Mint tea from our garden and God’s word is always a good way to start ones day.
Betty started to feel better and we had a fun little time on the trampoline while we watched Daddy work.
The older 3 kids were at Grandma Weldon’s for a couple of days.  When we went to pick them up, Elsie started laughing and crying all at once with the sheer joy of seeing them again!
Paleo fudge shaped like a heart.  What’s not to love?
Jack and Elsie comparing loose teeth in the car.
Being sick is no fun, but when you can lean on each other, it makes it a bit easier to bear.
A diet of applesauce and yogurt is made more fun when you can eat yogurt with your fingertips.
Free ice-cream and brothers.
Earning free ice-cream from the library for doing many hours of reading!
Riding the tricycle at Grandma’s house is better together!
Jack loves the color orange and his giant Tigger!  He strapped him into a car seat and everything!

My friend came by today and blessed me with this mug.  When I finished drinking my tea, there was my favorite verse written on the bottom of the cup: The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!  Psalm 126:3  He has indeed!

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The Confession of the Pork Sausage

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This past weekend we went camping with our Gateway church family.  We were wholly unprepared, grabbing this and that as we walked out the door.  Our van has been unusable for the past almost two weeks because of cooling problems, so we were up in the air about camping, until a car became available to us.  Long story short, we spent most of our time mooching off of other people’s fires, hot water, & utensils.  I did bring my crock-pot, however.  I also managed to drive half an hour away to fetch ingredients for a soup, only to forget half of them in a bag left at the store.  I didn’t realize this until I arrived back at the camp.  So I had a little cry, then drove all the way back to the store to get the items left behind.  When I arrived, the lady told me they had just taken my things back to the refrigerated section.  This put me back into a foul mood.  In fact, I was so annoyed at the whole situation that I grabbed one extra pack of sausages just to see if they would notice.  Turns out I could have grabbed ten and she wouldn’t have cared.  Nevertheless, I felt pretty guilty about it once I stopped thinking about myself so much.  James 5:16 says to confess your sins to each other.  Have I hit the backspace button numerous times hoping I could erase the fact that I am guilty of stealing?  Why, yes.  And yes, I am a sinner saved by grace and sometimes I still act like a little kid who will do whatever it takes to get what seems fair.  I slept pretty horribly that night too.  Good thing one of the things we grabbed as we walked out the door was an extra piece of foam, or we would have been sleeping on rocks.  But, if we’re talking about getting what’s fair… I should have just rolled right over and slept on the rocks IN the rain as punishment for my awful behavior.

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Thankfully, that’s not how God works.  He disciplines us like a good parent, but He doesn’t hold our sins over our head to see how much guilt we can bear.  I was reminded of God’s grace Saturday afternoon as a group of us filed into the woods towards a small stream bed.  Our friend wanted to show his faith in Jesus Christ by being baptized publicly.  It was a beautiful sight.  Baptism will never get you into Heaven.  It outwardly symbolizes what’s been done on the inside.  Believing in Christ’s death for the forgiveness of our sins.  Believing His resurrection from the dead means we will never die but always belong to God’s family.

Somehow having an organic gathering of God’s kids out in the woods felt perfect.  Church isn’t just something that happens in a building.  It’s not about blue chairs, wooden pews, the color of the carpet or how many guitars, pianos, or drums are playing.  It has nothing to do with our hymnbook, songbook, chorus book, or prayer-book.  Church isn’t even a building.  It’s not about an hour each week to feel good about ourselves and check it off our list or make brownie points with God.  Church is His body on earth, doing what His hands did, and what He died in order for us to do.  Live.  Love.  Forgive.  Church is a group of living and breathing folks who are following Christ’s example of humility and love.  At least that is what it’s supposed to be.

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I get very deeply upset when we start making the church more important than Jesus.  When we put more effort into what’s inside four walls than what’s outside of them.  When we act one way Sunday and a completely different way the other six.  When we nitpick about the minors while the majors get shelved out of fear or embarrassment.  When we get more concerned about saving someone’s soul than we do about loving them right where they are.  I am guilty of this and so much more.  My soul is restless to be all that Jesus has been to me.