Since school is beginning very soon, I thought now would be a good time to do a quick overview of our summer so far. It’s been delightful to say the least! June started out with a half marathon, which I completed with two friends. It was much harder than anticipated, but I finished and was thankful for the challenge!
July was full of some sickness, but was trumped by the ocean, soccer camp, girls’ camp, wrestling camp, and family time.
So far, August has been beautiful. Our dear friends came to visit us from Ohio. Ruthie and I go all the way back to age ten. Lots of front porch talks, a trip to the beach, and seeing our kids play with each other was such a joy. The garden is bursting with color. Matthew made the girls’ room a lot more fun by hanging their bed from the ceiling. It is only accessible via a ladder and monkey bars. Notice, my oldest daughter has to bend over a bit to look like the same height as her mother. Matthew is doing marvelously well health-wise. More on that later.
God has been so faithful and good to us. Summer isn’t over yet, and it’s been grand so far.
joy
Cleared For Take-Off
Since it’s almost been a month since we went down to North Carolina, I thought it was high time to get my pictures together from our trip. Oceanus did well driving down there. We missed one exit, which gave us an extra long and lovely drive. We even touched into Tennessee, which was unexpected.
A few of the highlights of our time with my brother and his family was of course seeing them, and also touring the airport where he works and serves missionary candidates. The ministry he helped to found is called Compass Aviation, and its goal is to give training and experience to pilots and mechanics who are wanting to serve on the foreign mission field. Please, check out their website to learn more and pray about how God can use YOU to get planes flying and pilots and mechanics to their destination. Here is my amazing brother:
It was an honor to hang out with my super-cool nephew (who is also a pilot and mechanic). I watched this young man grow from babyhood on up, and I am thrilled to see him going on strong for the Lord.
One evening, we all headed to the airport for some plane rides. Betty had never been, and was the most excited to fly.
John let Elijah talk over the radio and even let him fly for a bit:
Funny story: when I was in the plane with Elijah & Betty, my brother did a CRAZY swoop during take-off which made all of us scream SO loudly. It was fabulous. Betty loved every second, the thrill-seeker that she is.
She loved it so much, in fact, that this is what she did for most of the time she wasn’t in the airplane:
The evening was filled with beauty and joy and an immense amount of fun.
On Saturday, we celebrated Aaron’s graduation from High School. It was one of the most blessing-filled ceremonies I have ever attended. My brother and sister-in-law homeschooled him, and did a fine job indeed. Our whole family was very inspired.
So proud of you, Aaron! “You are now cleared for take-off!”
It was hard to drive away from our Southern family, but our memories with them are incredibly sweet. I am beyond words of thankfulness for the blessing of our family and all its extensions. At a rest stop on the way home, we stopped to stretch.
Excited to see where these kids will fly in life.
I Just Want A Yes
One thing which bothers me is when one of my children asks me for a snack as I’m cooking dinner. About a week ago, my littlest was doing just that. As I looked at her and firmly told her, “No,” she sat down on the floor, tucked her head in between her knees and cried dramatically: “But I just want a yes!” The outburst stopped me in my tracks. It almost felt like her words were being interpreted from my own heart’s silent prayer to my Heavenly Father. I just want a yes.
This week was a rough one for me. That same particular little girl started having a fever and alarmingly swollen lymph nodes, warranting a doctor’s visit and a round of blood-work. 
Thankfully, the blood-work came back normal, but the next day she developed a scary-looking rash on her forehead/scalp area. To make a long story short, 3 doctor visits later and an incredibly high temp of 105 at one point… she was diagnosed with Lyme’s disease. Lyme’s is a tick borne disease and nothing to take lightly.
This was the point where I began to ask others to pray for us. It was going on five days of constant fever, and Thursday night she was unable to walk up the stairs or move her leg from standing to sitting. She hadn’t really complained yet, despite how wretched she felt, so when she started to cry about her leg hurting so badly, I knew she was in a lot of pain. God promises us tremendous power is made available through a good man’s earnest prayer. (James 5:16) I just wanted a yes, but realized God wouldn’t change in any way if He said no.
We went to bed Thursday night, the only difference being we were completely surrounded by the prayers of so many. It was like a thick blanket or wall, surrounding her on all sides throughout the entire night. It was palpable. On Friday morning, I woke up to a sweet, smiling face in my bed. She had climbed up without any pain or problem and said, “Look at my ear!” (which is where the rash had started). It was completely normal, and there was no rash anywhere. Her fever was gone completely. She was smiling. I’m so thankful He said, “Yes!”
The night before, I had told the Lord again that she was His. I am convinced of God’s goodness and faithfulness not because of what He will or will not do in my life, but because of Who He is. We can not sit on the floor and scream: I just want a yes! If we interpret what He does based on what we think is good, or what we think He should do, we misinterpret His character. Our definition of good is limited by time and space and is tainted by our own selfishness. We can’t see the big picture. Just because I told Betty “no” to having a snack, didn’t equate me as a bad mom. In fact, I said no because there was something even better just ahead if she would just trust me and wait for it. God always acts in accordance with His character and not just according to what we think is good. Having Him take one of my children is something so difficult that I can not even begin to imagine or even dwell on it for one second because of the ache it produces in my heart. However, I was swiftly reminded this week that everything God has given to us can be taken in an instant. Yet, no matter what, God does not change in His goodness, His faithfulness, or His nearness.
Jesus said in John 14:27- I leave behind with you- peace; I give you my own peace and my gift is nothing like the peace of this world. You must not be distressed and you must not be daunted. This verse popped up twice on Thursday. Once, on a crumpled piece of paper that survived an entire heavy duty whirl in the washing machine. (When does paper ever survive a wash?) God knew I needed to hear from Him and be reminded that circumstances don’t change His gift of peace.
The scariness of the situation didn’t shift the truth of God’s nearness. I also read this reminder: Never forget the nearness of your Lord...He is right here with me. Don’t worry over anything whatever. Whenever you pray, tell God every detail of your reeds in thankful prayer, and the peace of God…that peace He knew we so desperately needed, so He left it with us when He went back to Heaven… Which surpasses human understanding… if you’ve experienced it, you know it… Will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus. This peace doesn’t come and go, but is like a sentry over our hearts and minds: keeping worry out and keeping peace in, so we can rest.
2 Months, 1 Amazing Guy, 5 Kids, 1 Rabbit, and 22 Bobby-pins
We stood on the edge of the woods, arms around each other and Nadine started to quietly sing: “Nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey, hey, hey, good-bye.” Matthew and I hugged her close and sang along, our mournful song stretching past the trees and into the May evening with respect and emotion. A pile of stones marks his grave, as this week we said goodbye to our first pet. Toby was Nadine’s rabbit, and she loved and trained him well. I will miss watching her train him on the front porch and take him for walks around the block on his little leash. The words sharpie-d onto his grave-stone say it all:
On a happier note, our school-year is done. We are schooling all year, which basically means we are taking a short break before starting again! This allows for longer breaks during Christmas-time and the dreaded February blues. Today I have an incredibly special place to school-plan. While Matthew works on a side job, this is my view:
I do not take this for granted and have spent most of my morning in awe of the fact that there is no one needing me. In fact, I even managed to go to the bathroom without anyone yelling, “MOM!” Because as every mother knows, the time when every child all of a sudden urgently needs them, is the moment the bathroom door closes.
In the past few months of non-writing, there are mounds of funnies jotted into my phone’s notebook, along with lots of pictures. Our spring has been full of gardening, school, organizing, and purging. Recently, we’ve been going room-by-room throughout the house and deep-cleaning every nook and cranny. This is useful for two things: to get rid of what is not needed, and to find lost things. I don’t know about you, but there are a few items in our home which notoriously get lost throughout the year: bobby-pins, scissors, pencils, pens, hair-ties, hair-brushes, and socks. There is a small list of things of more value and meaning which have also gone missing, and this was another reason for the deep-cleaning. Unfortunately, those things still haven’t been found, but we do have a FULL jar of pencils, pens, and scissors again. As well as this nice array of 22 bobby-pins confiscated from one room alone:
My heart is so full of thankfulness for the five amazing gifts God has given to us. They bless our lives more than words or pictures can express. But I will try to express it anyway.
Nadine has such a huge heart. This was shown so clearly this week when she lost Toby. How she carried him bravely from the accident and stayed with him and didn’t shy away from showing her grief. She has been babysitting and absolutely loves kids. Her passion for horses has not been abated, and she loves to spend her free time writing letters to her amazing friends. She is keeping alive the art of creating home-made envelopes and giving the post office lots of service! She holds the highest record on “bop-it”, which is like a concentration game: 250. I think my record is 21. She sang her first solo and did a beautiful job at their end-of-school play. She is a strong girl, and loves to arm wrestle. I love how she cleans up the kitchen at night for me, when I’m feeling like toast. Her energy is exactly what I need sometimes.
Elijah is growing up, like boys do. Our recent trip to the Franklin Institute to see the “Art of the Brick” Lego display was pretty epic. He and Jack have been building all sorts of things in their spare time, making guns that shoot legos, and vending machines that actually work. It is beyond me. He is often my side-kick in the kitchen. He recently made some chicken curry that was pretty bombdiggity. He did a great job a couple weeks ago, helping Matthew at our church to teach a lesson about lying. He has a gift for music and I absolutely love listening to him jam on the guitar. It is his new passion, and he brings us great joy to hear him play and sing.
Jack finished up his year of wrestling, turned 9, and all sorts of other momentous things in April. At the kids’ end-of-the-year school celebration with their co-op, they performed a musical called, “Rats”. Jack was one of the rats, and I learned something I never knew about him before: that boy can act! He was not afraid on the stage, and he actually hammed it up quite a bit. He is fearless on his bike, which is sometimes not a good thing. He loves to hold hands, and can give the best shoulder massages. When I think of Jack, I think of a strong, tame, hug-gable tiger.
Elsie is a fearless, yet at times, shy girl. She has the most beautiful singing voice, and the ability to pick up songs on the piano naturally. She did a great job at the end-of-the-year play as well. When she has two wheels under her, she becomes very bold. The other day our family went to the skate park together and she was the only girl in the entire park, fearlessly rollerblading between some crazy fast boys on jumps. She prefers to be outside, and has the best imagination. Her end-of-the-year science experiment with flowers and colored water worked out well, and it was fun watch the flowers turn into different colors. She turned 7, got glasses, and seemed to grow up all in a matter of months.
Betty, who is four (which really means “I’m almost five”), tops our charts with hilarity. She adores school, her yellow crocs, and being a part of everything. Like when the kids were all playing “Truth or Dare” in the car. She piped up: “Truth or dare? Truth is, I dare you to jump out of the window!” Elijah calmly answered, “Betty, I’m not going to jump out the window.” She probably crossed her eyes, which is something she does a lot of right now when she’s annoyed. She recently learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, had her first three-legged race, and a host of other firsts that come with being under the age of five. She tells stories which go on for many minutes. The most recent one she told started off like this: “Long ago, when I was three…” She loves “noodle” cookies (snickerdoodles) and “reading”. When we were gardening last week she exclaimed, “There’s a lot of bees in this village!” I must have said, “Sweetheart” to her at some point because she looked at me with a dead-pan face (as she always looks when she says things that crack us up) and said, “Sweetheart?! Why do you always call me sweetheart?” I was so taken aback, I wasn’t sure how to respond! 
Another highlight of our spring was saying hello again to my parents who recently just arrived back from Africa. It was fun house-sitting for them, but much more fun having them back again. You can read all about their trip here.
Meeting our international travelers at the airport. I love hellos!
Matthew has been doing pretty well. I don’t think I could be more thankful for him than I am right now, although I know tomorrow it will be more, because that’s how love is. It grows with time. And though we’re not old, we’re older than we were, and I have time on my side to say without a doubt: It just gets better.
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (In A Nutshell)
The past month has been epic. I forgot my camera for the first big event, but snagged a few of my sisters’ photos. My brother-in-law planned a fabulous surprise birthday for my oldest sister. The day before, my brother hatched a plan to fly up here for a couple of hours to surprise her. It worked. I picked him, my nephew, and niece up from the local airport an hour before the party started. I felt like a little girl, back in the middle of Africa, waiting for him and my sister to fly home from boarding school. My other sister and I would listen for the sound of the small Cessna flying in from where they went to school. First a distant hum, then louder until we could see the plane circling over our station. This was slightly different, since he was the actual pilot this time, and his son was texting me from the airplane. But those distant memories were stirred from the corners of my brain, and I actually jumped up and down and screamed just like I did when I was Betty’s age. From our house, I heard the airplane and saw it coming in for landing. We raced to the van to drive the mile to the airport to pick them up and head over to the surprise party.
Here we are, youngest to oldest. It was such a treat to be together, even if it was only for a couple of hours.
My nephews, the oldest and youngest of my parent’s 18 grand-kids, spanning 18 years apart. So precious.
A few weeks ago, the kids and I took a secret drive to Valley Forge for a Christmas photo shoot. I was excited at the forecast of snow flurries that day, and was imagining their white little selves falling on our noses and eyelashes in picture perfect clarity. What really happened was a lot of this:
Also a lot of shivering and red noses. 
Eventually we came up with a winner, where everyone was looking, no one was doing peace signs behind anyone’s back, no one was saying, “I’m freezing!” and no one was sticking out their tongue.
Although, they’re all pretty fun. We did one more shoot outside because the flurries were starting. Everyone sat down and this happened:
But then this happened, which is pretty sweet. 
Oh, and the flurries stopped once they sat down. Go figure. 
This month there has been a lot of this as well:
The Sunday before Christmas there was another attempted photo shoot of the kids. This one turned out great.
The rest pretty much followed this pattern: 
Christmas Eve was spent at the Weldon’s house with family. After many attempts at getting a picture with Matthew, 99% of them being blurry, like this: 
One finally turned out crisp and clear.
Our yearly tradition of Santa coming to town was a success. All of our kids know it’s really Uncle Jon, but they still play along for the most part.
Christmas was a lovely day here at home. We didn’t have to be anywhere and spent the day at home by ourselves for the first time ever. We had monkey bread for breakfast, but I pretty much left my camera on the shelf for the rest of the day. 
I have some treasured memories of squeals and hugs by appreciative hearts. It was a beautiful day. That evening for supper Matthew’s parents, sister and brother, and my parents came for dinner. 
We enjoyed a fun evening together and the Weldons spent the night.
The next day we went rock climbing. This girl right here is a natural. The boots. The green tights. The pony-tail. I couldn’t stop smiling.
All the girls were smoking it to the top over and over. 
The next day was interesting. We went to Jack’s wrestling tournament. We had expectations of hanging out together for a few hours in the afternoon, cheering him on, then getting home in plenty of time for supper. We can laugh now, but we weren’t laughing then. I had thoughts like this going through my head: “It won’t be long,” he said. “It’ll be fun,” he said. Looking back, it was fun. The kids brought their walkie-talkies, and were able to get lots of fresh air, running around outside and testing them out while we waited for 130 matches until Jack’s first match. The worst part of the day was right before Jack went onto the mat for the last time. I glanced around and couldn’t see Betty anywhere. I got a sickening feeling in my stomach as I looked all around the people-filled gym. We had just walked from another mat to this one, and somewhere along the way, Betty got lost in the shuffle. Jack was up to wrestle. I didn’t want to panic in front of him and mess up his concentration. I grabbed one of the walkie-talkies while Elijah and Nadine grabbed two more and we set off to find her. All in all, it was about five minutes total before I walked down the hallway and saw her huddled behind the door to the gym. She had her little stuffed puppy and was crying. I scooped her up, emotions spilling out of every pore. Jack was wrestling by then, and I just held her and we cried happy tears while we yelled encouragements to Jack. My entire body was shaking. I praise the Lord for watching over Betty. We figured that as we walked to the mat and stopped, she must have kept walking until she got to the hall and didn’t see us anymore. I told her what a good girl she was to stop and wait for me to find her. It was a long day that started and ended about three hours later than we expected. Jack won his matches and got a first place trophy. His eyes said it all:
After getting to bed close to midnight, our plans for the next day somewhat unraveled. We were supposed to leave at ten o’clock in the morning. Around ten thirty, the last of our five sleepy heads stumbled downstairs from their cozy bed. Pancakes started. Someone else desperately needed a shower, especially since they couldn’t remember the last time they did so. At last, everyone was fed, so I headed upstairs for my own shower. On the way, I met a special six-year old girl who was staring at herself in the mirror and said to me in a puzzled voice: “It’s like someone cut my hair!” as she fiddled with her brown silky mop. I was about to just say, “Uh-huh”, but something stopped me in my tracks. “Elsie, why is your hair so short? Did you cut your hair?” Her eyes showed a slight mixture of fear and debate about her answer. The truth won out, and she told me she was just curious about how it would feel to cut it off. I think she found out pretty quickly. So, my shower was delayed for a bit longer while I opened up the hair salon in the bathroom. By noon we were ready to leave, but we didn’t actually leave until one-thirty. And THAT is how we roll some mornings in our house.
We arrived at Matt’s brother’s house a couple of hours late, but enjoyed time together and another visit from Santa. Here’s Elsie with her new haircut:
If I could summarize the entire month of December into one photo collage, it would look like this:
Joyous New Year!
Don’t Forget To Wash Your Hands
December started out with a bang, as I supported an amazingly strong woman through over forty hours of labor. My friend and fellow doula, Sarah, came to spell me for a few hours the last night of November. Then on the evening of December first, another baby girl came into the world. It was an honor to witness such strength and endurance as that mama displayed. I am constantly reminded of the incredible stamina and tenacity we as humans possess.
After that sleepless weekend, we were presented with “the bug”, as my children so fondly have named it. It really began Thanksgiving night with Betty getting sick outside, just as we arrived home from a wonderful day with my family. The bug slowly made its way through all but two of us: Jack & myself. So, after a few days of birth jet-lag and a few days of sickness, we made it to this week, where we have had to reel ourselves back into school again. Our attempts have felt somewhat like crash-landings a few days this week. There’s nothing gentle about reality.
Yesterday we had an adventurous trip to Trader Joe’s, where I was meeting Matthew’s mom who was going to take the kids for the afternoon. Upon arriving, Elsie had to go to the bathroom, so we all trudged into the store. After about five minutes of waiting, it was evident we were going to be there for awhile. So I sent Nadine with the others to look for the stuffed hedgehog and claim the prized lollipop that comes from finding said hedgehog hidden somewhere in the store. Five minutes later they returned, all sucking lollipops, and we hung out to wait for Elsie some more. Others joined the small area, waiting for the bathroom to be free. Then Betty, who really has no filter, put her face to the door and yelled: “Don’t forget to wash your hands after diarrhea!” I quickly tried to shush her, while holding back laughter. Of course Elsie yelled from the recesses of the bathroom: “What?!” So Betty quickly repeated her reminder in the same volume. I just about lost it, standing about ten feet from the eggs and milk section of the store, where busy shoppers were probably only wanting to think about food. I never did make eye contact with the man waiting near us.
Tonight the girls were playing their most recent game of “Holly & Annie”. Usually it begins with them meeting eachother after a long absence, and both of them determining how old the other is.
“Holly!” begins Betty.
“Annie!” Elsie replies, and they hug.
“I’m seven years old!” says Betty. (Elsie whispers: Seventeen) “Seventy!” Betty corrects herself. (No, no! Seventeen, Elsie whispers again.) “Seventeen!”
“Wow! I’m eighteen!” gasps Elsie.
“Wow! I’m almost bigger than you!” exclaims Betty, and so on it goes until they go to Hawaii or some such place. It usually is Hawaii, actually.
Recently, an incredibly sweet young lady approached me with the offer of a lifetime: to come be at our home every week for a few hours to do whatever I need her to do. That right there is an offer money can’t buy. We look forward to our weekly visits from her. Often she helps with school, or sometimes she is just another ear for this tired out mama to talk to and I know my words find acceptance and not judgement. If ever there was opportunity for her to judge, it was last week. She was supposed to come Thursday at 9AM. I woke up at 9:05. Every morning, I always lay in bed to try and remember what day of the week it is, where I need to go, who is coming here, etc. I got to that last thought and sprung out of bed to look out the window. Yep, her car was there. I stumbled downstairs to find one of the kids had woken up before me and welcomed her inside. She looked at me and laughed. This here is what we call: real life. Every day I don’t have it all together. Every day I miss stuff, mess up, fall down, or give in to the pressure of life. It’s important to be vulnerable about one’s humanness. I do not wake up gracefully. It was both humbling and hilarious to welcome a guest into my home with a sleepy voice and crusty eyes. Whatever came out of my mouth, every word was really saying, “I forgot you were coming. Forgive me while I go make some tea and clean up the supper dishes I was going to wash before you got here this morning.” Yes, this real life stuff is just that: real. Not fake or put together.
The same person who saw me in my pajamas and morning hair also offered to help me clean and rearrange my room today. I say this to encourage some of you who may be on one side or the other of this coin of life. If you have time on your side, find a mama who looks tired and worn out, and offer a chunk of time to her out of love and not self-gain. The rewards will be eternal, I guarantee you. If you are a mama and someone offers to help you, take them up on the offer! Nothing baffles me more than when we as women shrug off the need for help because we’re too proud to accept it, we’re too embarrassed to air our dirty homes, or we’re too busy to slow down and let someone into our life. I was embarrassed to my core when she saw every single thing that was under my bed. At the same time, I felt a freedom in letting go of my facade that I’m all put together. Just like you, my clothes, my house, my dishes and my hair all get dirty. If you didn’t know it, now you do. It’s a constant battle, to admit my humanness and my imperfections. I’d much rather have an instagram life, but just as quickly as you glance at that perfect picture, reality smudges the lens again.
All these imperfections make me long for more. Thanks be to God, there is more! There will be a day, where there will be no more sickness, no more pain, no more mess-ups, and no more tears. Excellence and beauty will never be tarnished by sin again. Home will be perfect and complete because Jesus is there. If you know Him personally, one day perfection will be your reality too. Until then, let’s love eachother through the bad breath, messy hair, and clutter. And let’s not forget to wash our hands after diarrhea.
So thankful for these five.
A Crazy-Hair Day
A week ago I wrote this, before being interrupted for another week:
Right now one boy is blaring classical piano music throughout the house. Two kids are playing a board game, and the other two are building with blocks and dancing at intervals. I snuck out to the front porch, literally hiding a brownie in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Just five minutes of peace would be super. It’s been a long afternoon of school, apple-sauce-making, supper-cooking, and I’m not even cleaned up yet. Time for tea and an undisclosed chocolatey snack.
It sounds all too-familiar, like I was about to type the same words now… as I lick the melted chocolate off my spoon and swallow the last sip of afternoon tea. The kids are all in their rooms practicing how to be quiet. I had a long but beautiful day being a doula yesterday, arriving home close to 2AM. Needless to say, I was pretty exhausted. The last thought I had before drifting off to sleep was: I hope I get breakfast in bed. My super amazing daughter must have known (you see, when you pray, the Holy Spirit is listening, and can communicate that need to someone else who is listening to Him). Her sweet self prepared this breakfast for me, and we enjoyed a lovely morning in our PJ’s.
By lunch-time, however, my lack of sleep started to kick in. I started making scrambled eggs and dropped one on the ground. I snapped at the children I loved so much. Then, I stopped and apologized for my grumpy attitude. Everyone suggested maybe I needed a nap. Then Nadine smoothed the air even further with her honest comment, “You know, Mom? Your hair looks CRAZY today!” I burst out laughing. It still looks crazy, by the way.
The text I sent to Matthew, which prompted my apology to the children.
So, Betty and I decided to take a nap, even though she is “never tired”. Like the other day, when she told me, “My tummy hurts. I’m tired of falling asleep.” Then this happened:
Today she told me she wanted to “talk” before we fell asleep. Thus began our conversation: “I have a question.”
“Yes, Betty? What’s your question?”
“When will I be six?”
“After you’re five.”
“Will I always be six?”
“The whole time you’re six, yes.” We then proceeded to practice counting up to six on our fingers. She is dead set on being six.
She says some pretty hilarious things these days. The other night she lamented in a very sorrowful voice, “Everybody makes me so sad.” When I asked her what would make her happy, she replied, “If you make chicken.” She asked me this out-of-the-blue question the other day: “Mom, can I put this rock in my pocket?”
“Um, sure,” I replied, puzzled.
“Just in case I need it for something.” Good to know she’s prepared.
When I asked her if she wanted apple sauce or yogurt for a snack she answered, “Hmmmmmmmm. I think my body wants yogurt.”
Last weekend, Matthew surprised me with one of my favorite date days ever. We were given tickets to Chester County Day, and drove all around the area touring historical homes, barns, and grounds. It was so beautiful, inspiring and refreshing.
I’ve been slightly obsessed with Instagram the past two weeks. The photos aren’t a false impression of my life, so much as they are a bit of an incomplete picture of it. You might see a shot of apple crisp, but in the background you can’t see the piles of dishes I just washed or have to still wash. You might see us reading books on the front porch, but you can’t see the dirt on the ground, or feel the mosquitoes trying to bite us. You might see the photo of a budding piano-player, but only we can hear the same three songs being played hundreds of times on the keyboard. You see the flower, but not the weeds. 
This week’s favorite photos are as follows:
Jack’s ongoing collection of shiny things. A healed bone in Nadine’s big toe. Rock-climbing date with my Elsie Rose. Nadine’s 12th birthday, complete with crepe cake. Love and Daddy. The baby-waiting game. Beautiful clouds that make me wish I was a bird.
The boys just dug out some old CD’s, and we’re rocking out to the Kry, one of my favorite 90’s music memories. The girls are “secretly” rearranging their room (even though I could hear the furniture scooting all around their room from where I lay in bed while attempting to nap). My hair is still crazy. My heart is full.
Memory Lane Colliding With Today
Today I’m feeling nostalgic. Eight years ago, what was going on? Well, Jack was five months old and a crawling maniac. Elijah was into drinking tylenol, and wasn’t quite sure what hospitals were for.
Four years ago, we had recently moved.
Three years ago, we couldn’t imagine life without Betty.
Two years ago I publicly confessed my dislike of showers. I am also reminded that it’s time for another secret invitation soon.
One year ago, a baby was born. The pictures into my children’s personalities are still so similar, it is uncanny.
Today, these five keep me overwhelmed with joy to be their mama.
This year we decided not to do Awanas. The little girls were disappointed, and all on her own, Nadine initiated starting a “girl’s club” with Elsie & Betty, where they will memorize verses, do crafts and study the Bible together. She has it all planned out, and I’m excited to see her organize something like this! Tonight she even sewed a little vest for Elsie to wear during club. She will be starting her first steady babysitting job tomorrow, and is also involved in a Bible study/horse club with girls her age.
Elijah has definitely hit a new phase of life. Between moodiness, possible changes going on in the voice department, and a little more moodiness, he is growing up… and sometimes that can make one unsure of themselves. One thing is for certain: that boy can play the piano! Only three weeks into starting lessons, and he is already grasping it in a remarkable way. I’m really proud of him. His musical talent doesn’t only lie in his fingers. He memorizes songs like no one’s business. In his own words: “I know this song like I’m breathing.” He also knows how to tell jokes and make us laugh.
In looking back at pictures, I noticed that Jack is still wearing the same orange shorts he wore about three years ago. He keeps growing taller, but his waist stays the same. He can more often than not, be found upside-down. Today I gave him a chair to carry out to the trash, since it had broken beyond repair. Not too long after that, I found him, armed with spindles.
Yesterday he came up to me and asked, “Mom, has my voice changed?” I told him, no. He said, “Oh, good.” Then Elijah piped up: “We already talked about that, Jack.” His reply: “I know. But not with Mom.” He also asked me if I could see any hair on his chest yet. I hugged my little boy with the smooth, beautiful face and feet as big as my own, and wanted to bottle up his boyish ways forever. When I asked him to vacuum off the front porch the other day, I noticed the sound of the vacuum was going on for a lot longer than the task required. I peeked outside to see him doing this, using the front door as a mirror:
I love the dirt under his arm-pits and the sweat and grime covering his body. He is one-hundred-and-fifty percent boy.
Elsie still likes shoes, still likes to work hard, and is still enthralled with hair. On Sunday night, she came downstairs after being tucked in and asked if she could “tidy up a bit.” I thought about it for about a half second. She proceeded to pick things off the floor, put them away, sweep the kitchen, wiped this and that, and made a huge difference in the outlook of the downstairs. She voluntarily pulled out each of her baskets and folded all of her clothes just perfectly before putting them all back. This girl is my inspiration for organization and cleanliness. She is also a singer, and often sings Betty to sleep at night.
Betty loves to learn. She can read, “I am Betty.” She often adds an “H” somewhere in her name, because she just loves to write H’s. She can also sing entire songs, and I am amazed at her memory. Don’t be fooled by the frilly shirt and patent leather shoes. This girl can climb. In fact, the entire time she climbed the eight-or-so-foot fence, she sang: “I’m a climber, I’m a climber…” Yes, yes, she is. 
It’s been awhile since I put together a sleepy collage. I love to sneak pictures of my beautiful babies when they’re asleep. Just looking at them is making my eyelids droop. The only one who sleeps pretty much the exact same way every night is Nadine. One morning, Betty came downstairs and giggled, “Mama, Elsie’s head was on my tummy when I woke up!” They are so funny when they sleep.
Run Wild With The Hope
Amazing experiences are like pearls hidden in a shell. Unless you know there is treasure inside, it is just an ugly shell. This weekend may have looked like a crazy-dirty-roll-my-eyes-at-another-race-type-run to most people, but if you can be patient, I hope I can unpack and share with you some treasures I found hidden in the rough.
It started as a team of twelve people I barely knew. Names painted onto a van. It ended very differently.
We had two vans, with six runners per van. Every runner had three legs to complete, so we made check boxes for each of us to fill in as we finished. Art meets brawn. Or something like that.
As second runner, I waited for my first run and tried not to think about how cold I was. I imagined the warmth that would soon be coursing through my blood once I got going. Once Bonnie tagged me, I was off. 
I had a two-mile climb before cresting the hill and experiencing an incredible view. The van drove by me to yell through the windows, words of encouragement. And I listened to words of worship and blessing through songs in my ears.
And the single hawk bursts into flight
And in the east the whole horizon is in flames
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And with the prairies I am calling out Your name…
And there is still a faith
That can make the mountains move
And a love that can make the heavens ring
And I’ve seen love make heaven ring…
From the place where morning gathers
You can look sometimes forever ’til you see
What time may never know
How the Lord takes by its corners this old world
And shakes us forward and shakes us free
To run wild with the hope
The hope that this thirst will not last long
That it will soon drown in the song
Not sung in vain
And I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name.
I slowed my pace to catch this view with my phone. It doesn’t do it justice. I felt so free up there, maybe a bit like how a bird feels when he’s flying across the beauty only visible between earth and sky. I could feel the glory of the mountains breaking into song and the trees clapping their hands. I was spectator to the majestic song of praise that is constantly being sung. My feet kept time, I met with my Maker up there, and it felt like holy ground.
At the second exchange, I tagged runner 3, and we were off to encourage him. Sometimes it meant screaming through open van windows, and sometimes it meant using sidewalk chalk along the craziest climb of the race. 
Through each exchange, each runner tagged the next.
There was a particularly breath-taking view along the way, right before Matthew’s first run.
Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide
I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You
Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breathes in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ
After Matthew ran in to finish leg 1 for our van, we headed to another exchange to wait until van 2 finished their first leg. We slept, refueled, and played Phase 10. It’s always more fun when you win.
I was a bit nervous about running through the night. Donning my headlight, strobe light, and reflective vest, I headed out into the darkness. They weren’t the only things lighting my way.
For all of this life
Your Spirit ignites
A heavenly fire
Untouched by the night
You opened our eyes
Turned death into life
Revealing all truth
There’s no one like You.
In the midst of the darkest night
Let Your love be the shining light
Breaking chains that were holding me
You sent Your Son down and set me free
Everything of this world will fade
I’m pressing on till I see Your face
At a few points during that run, my team pulled over and got out of the van to cheer me on. I’m having a hard time putting into words how that actually made me feel. It was a condensed version of life, really. We all go through dark times, when fears are tangible and light is dim to nonexistent. The second I took my eyes off the light from my headlamp, and darted them into the woods lining the dark road, my heart could feel the darkness. When our eyes are fixed on the light and power that is Jesus Christ, we are truly set free from the fear of darkness. Because darkness is really just the absence of light. Dark times can also be very lonely times. There was literally not a speck of life on some stretches of that road. When those cheering voices came into view, the feeling of loneliness and isolation was immediately overwhelmed by love. Love stands outside on a cold dark night and yells your name until you smile and find more strength in your weary legs.
When we finished our night runs, we were able to rest for a couple of hours at one of the exchanges. The third and final leg began right at dawn. My legs were sore, but quickly the adrenaline gave me an extra boost I didn’t think was possible. We had a few people’s cell phone’s taking pictures along the way. This one is not from my particular leg, but every run had the ever-encouraging “one mile to go” sign posted and blinking. It was pretty exciting to hand off the bracelet one more time, and then revel in the joy of being finished.
Finished running, maybe, but not finished cheering on my team.
When we all completed our legs, we ate a delicious meal before driving to the finish-line in Washington D.C. I even managed to wash my hair and self in the small bathroom sink at Panera. Glory. 
The view was gorgeous from the finish line, and then it began to pour. Van 2 team did an amazing job of enduring over very difficult hills, through the night, and in the rain. A few minutes before our last runner crossed the finish line, the sun came out and smiled on our tired but happy team.
Driving home, the sun kept on shining. Check marks on the windows reminded me of hundreds of miles run. Goals accomplished. Hills conquered. Darkness overwhelmed by light. No longer just names painted on a van. Real souls, with stories of their own. Real hearts that pump blood through their bodies. Bodies capable of more than each of us thought possible at times. Names turned into friends. Friends who made me laugh to my core, and changed me in some intangible way I haven’t quite figured out yet. But I know I’m better because of them.
I’ve been shaken up a little. Pushed out of my comfort zone a lot. And somewhere out there on the road, I found a part of myself I didn’t know was missing.
When I agreed to this race, I only saw the shell. I was skeptical of the entire idea. Yet through the hard work and grit and grime, a real pearl emerged. It reflects teamwork, laughter, determination, and friendship. Unique and priceless. Press on. You never know where the next road will take you.
Home School in High Speed
Have you ever wondered what it is like for our family to homeschool? It is difficult to capture, but I did my best. One morning last month, I secretly set up the camera to record my five diligent students, hard at work. This does not include the living room, where someone else was working for a while, or the mayhem that is also called “lunch”. Yes, I ruffle my hair sometimes when I’m getting tired. Look for it. So, here you have it, in high-speed. ONE day in our life. Every day is different, so maybe I’ll do another video in the future. I hope you enjoy!
Grow Old With Me 