When It Comes to Five

Maybe it’s the way her hair curls to beautifully, or the way her smile has always been exceptionally bright.  Maybe it’s her ability to make people feel special.  Maybe it’s a little girl trapped inside a woman’s body, that comes out when she’s excited or playing a game.  Nadine loves creatures with fur, especially the ones that neigh.  She has friends she calls on the phone, can clean a kitchen well, and loves to write letters.  A woman of habit, she sleeps in the exact same position every night.  Her little sisters adore her, and the other day Nadine said something funny to Betty: You know English fully now, don’t you?  When we were eating bacon the other day, Nadine discovered she actually liked it and said, I think I’m finally coming to my senses about it.  You got that right!  Today she started back doing a special homeschool girls’ horse club with a few girls her age.  She proudly donned her helmet she’s been dying to wear since Christmas, and I left her happily basking in the environment where she thrives.DSC_1469-2
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Maybe it’s the way his bright blue eyes haven’t changed since he was a baby.  Maybe it’s the way his body is swiftly changing into a young man.  Maybe it’s the way I look at my phone and see a note from him telling me I’m the best mom ever… usually on a day when I’m feeling anything but good.  Maybe it’s the way we both connect through music.  The other day he walked into the kitchen and “Don’t Stop Believin'” was playing on the sound dock.  He sighed and said, I love Journey.  His peace-loving soul hates conflict and strives for resolution.  Right now he is taking archery lessons and is one of the best shots in his class.  He is counting the days until he can drive a car, and I have to remind him how awesome it is to be a kid.  His feet are bigger than his mama’s.  Today he was looking for the peanut butter in the cupboard.  He poked around a bit then said, Maybe you can see it, because you’re taller.  He paused and looked at me, then added, Well, not that much taller, and chuckled.  He is a good observer.  Once he saw how Elsie had dressed herself.  I don’t remember the exact outfit, but generally it has to do with stripes, polka dots and flowers combined.  He said, Mom, I always thought Elsie would be  good trend-setter.  When I asked the boys why they had their shirts off the other day (when it wasn’t hot outside) Elijah said, Because it makes us stronger!
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Maybe it’s the way he is always catching up to his growing body.  Maybe it’s the way his giant puppy paw hands will one day match the rest of his muscular body.  Maybe it’s the way he leaps over three stairs at a time in his roller-blades and makes this mama’s heart beat very fast.  Maybe it’s the way his heart tips the scales of my own when he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me.  Maybe it’s in his smile that’s so big it makes his eyes squint closed.  For Jack, an umbrella becomes a parachute, taking him to another world where there are things to fight and conquer.  He is okay with going to the store wearing a button-down shirt, soccer shorts, boots with no laces, a holster with gun, and a cowboy hat.  The other day said something very funny: Mom, I just have a question.  If you pick your nose at night do you need to brush your teeth again?  Today we reviewed our neglected chore charts.  Orange marker in hand, Jack checked things off one-by-one.  A few minutes later, I heard someone mowing, which is still a rare sound, after such a winter.   For the longest time I thought it was our neighbor, then I poked my head outside to check on the boys.  There was Jack, in his pajama pants, clip-on “pirate” earring, and flip-flops, mowing the grass for the first time this year.  I didn’t even know if the mower would start.  Elijah was right behind him, weed-whacking.  They took the “yard work” part of their charts very seriously, and I think we’ll be keeping those chore charts handier. DSC_1424-2 

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Maybe it’s the way she likes two little strands of hair un-tucked from her ponytail, so she can smooth them behind her ears.  Maybe it’s the way she wears stripes with polka-dots on most days.  Maybe it’s the gaping hole in her smile where her tooth was knocked out last year.  There’s something about Elsie that makes me chuckle whenever she walks into the room.  She loves friends, changing outfits, and monkey-bars.  If all three are included on any given day, it’s pretty much the best day ever.  She loves to sleep with her stuffed bunny under her head, just so.  Phone Photos
She also sleeps in a different position every night.  She likes to do her own hair these days, and she likes to “babysit” Betty.  She’s a terrific helper and does things almost always with a cheerful heart.  Currently, she is wearing a purple shirt, red vest, shorts, striped socks up to her knees, and sparkly shoes.  She sings hymns and songs and says the books of the Bible with lightening speed.
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Maybe it’s the way she cocks her head and smiles.  Maybe it’s the way she says, Bless you! whenever she sneezes.  Maybe it’s the way her hair is still uneven from the perfect haircut she gave herself many months ago.  Maybe it’s the way her brown eyes pull me in with their sweet chocolaty-ness.  There’s something about Betty that makes me scoop her up and cover her in kisses whenever she walks into the room.  She loves her dollies, taking care of people who are hurt, baby spoons, and the color yellow.  To emphasize something of great importance she will say, “So bad”.  For instance, I want to button my shirt so bad!  I need a banana so bad!  Sometimes she will say, Mom!  I have a secret!  Then she’ll whisper in a voice loud enough to hear all around, Please, I want a chocolate chip!  I mean three chocolate chips!  She still loves receipts as “taggies” to hold while she sucks her fingers. The other day she exclaimed: I found them all!  Seriously!  After finding a pile of receipts in her little purse.  Seriously.  Her vocabulary is hilarious.  There aren’t always darling moments, but there are many funny ones.  Like today, when I laid her down for her nap… for the fifth time.  Without a word, I carried her back upstairs, put her in her  bed, tucked her covers around her and walked out.  She cried behind my retreating back: I’m not a baby!  I’m not a baby!  To which I chuckle.  In fact, you are.  You’re my baby.  When she’s not a baby, she is doing her own schoolwork, and already knows how to make an H, B, and E.  You’re still my baby, Betty.

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Maybe it’s a combination of five hearts, all with their own special places in my own.  Whatever it is, I love these beautiful children.  Seriously.

Hippy At Last

Yesterday two pretty momentous things happened.  First, it was Jack’s eighth birthday!  Everything about the day was exactly how it was eight years ago: the blue skies, spring flowers blooming everywhere, and excitement in the air.  Yesterday we also welcomed a new member into our family.  Please, meet Oceanus, named by the kids this morning.  Our bright blue happy van!  (Oceanus was the name of the baby who was born on the Mayflower when the Pilgrims came to America.  They like that story, plus the color reminds them of the ocean.)  We are so very thankful for this blessing from our Father above, who cares about every detail of our lives.  We are excited to make many memories and road-trips this summer, bouncing along in Oceanus.

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La Famiglia

Before more time goes by, here are the closing remarks via photo, from our special family fortnight.
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A rose among thorns, Heidi between her brothers.
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We had a “see who can hang the longest from these freezing cold monkey bars” contest.  Jack was the one to beat, and his daddy rose to the challenge and won.
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My ever-present comedian.
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The series of these photos was hilarious.  We had a photo-bomber named Jack darting in and out from behind us.  Among the lot, there is not one of all three coupes kissing.  We tried.  The middle couple were pretty oblivious to all the crazies.  So cute!
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The cousin shot didn’t work out too well.  It was cold.  Betty was sad.  Elsie was silly.  That’s life!
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Sisters by love, not blood.
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So blessed.

Italian Surprises

Surprises are the spice of life.
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We had a surprise brewing for a few weeks now.  I kept it from the kids, excitement building in my own heart.  It had been almost three years ago since we saw these sweet faces, flown straight from Italian soil to our side of the ocean!
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One night previous, Elsie had just been in tears for her cousin, Hannah.  She missed her so badly.
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Few words are needed.  It was a blessed week and a half.  So thankful we were able to see them a few times and cousins were able to connect over dress-ups, dance-parties, and sidewalk chalk.
In the between days when we weren’t at Matthew’s parents house visiting, we kept busy with the usual school and business of life.  Soon I will post pictures of our entire family together.  What a beautiful week it’s been.
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Three-Four, Open The Door

March has a tendency to speed right along, almost as if it’s anticipating spring as much as the rest of us are.  It’s been a super fun-filled month so far.  Exactly three weeks until race day, the trail has seen a lot of my old sneakers.  Between miles there has been much chocolate, a medieval feast with friends (we are studying that period of history together), an Ikea trip with my sister and nieces, furniture painting, cute kids, field trips and birthday celebrations with friends.  There is much between the lines, many memories and blessings.  Lots of words are flying about in my  brain, unsettled as of yet; waiting for the unseen breeze to stop their spinning.  
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But right now, today, thirty-four is shaping up to be fabulous.  

Thoughts From Mt Everest

We have windows facing the north, east, and south of our house.  Every morning for about five minutes, I get to see part of the sunshine as it creeps up past our neighbor’s brick wall and sneaks into my window before it rises higher, becoming indirect light for the rest of the day.  There is another small slice of time when it shines full force into the laundry room downstairs and bathroom upstairs.  During those times, if I’m able, I practically paste myself to the glass pane while it shines its bright happiness on my white and wintry face.  Growing up with access to full sunshine every day it didn’t rain, makes its absence more intense some days.  Yesterday, I even climbed the Himalayas for it.
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Ok, so it wasn’t the actual Himalayas.  It happened to be this ginormous seven-foot snow-pile in our front yard, with a tiny corner of sunshine right at the top calling my name.  For a few minutes I disappeared into a world dripping with vitamin D and vast expanses.

My fellow arctic sojourner.

My fellow arctic sojourner.

 

 

Practically the North Pole.

Practically the North Pole.

Then Betty started crying because she couldn’t get up from the deep snow where she had fallen.

Yesterday was Valentine’s day.  We generally don’t make a huge fuss about it.  If it truly is commemorating an amazing man who was martyred because of his faith in Christ, and who helped to secretly marry Christians who were being persecuted for their faith, because he believed so strongly in the institution of marriage before God, then I think we’ve cheapened it immensely.  Passing out messily-written notes out of obligation isn’t exactly how I imagine we should memorialize love.  Not to say I dislike Valentines Day, or I didn’t immensely enjoy seeing so many fun and creative ideas floating around yesterday.  I mostly dislike the mandatory feeling placed upon so many, when love should never be forced.  We have fallen prey to this just as much as anyone else.  I MADE my children create valentines for their classmates.  It was an assignment, though, not a freewill offering on their part.  There is something beautiful about love given when you don’t ask for it, and love received when you know it wasn’t coerced.

When Matthew was on his way home from work, I asked him to stop at the store for a couple of items we needed for supper that night.  I ended with, “Don’t buy me flowers!”  He replied, “I wasn’t going to!”  Then we both laughed.  That’s how we work.  Don’t buy me flowers when they’ll be jacked up in price to more than is ethically possible.  Don’t buy me flowers out of obligation because every other guy is doing it.  Buy me flowers (better yet, pick them for me when they’re free and fresh from the garden!) when I least expect it and because YOUR heart told you to do so, not some looming expectation from society is practically forcing it upon you.

Giving out of guilt is one of my biggest pet peeves.  It was one of Paul’s too, in the Bible.  This is in the context of money, not valentines:
Each of you must make up your own mind about how much to give. But don’t feel sorry that you must give and don’t feel that you are forced to give. God loves people who love to give.
(2 Corinthians 9:7)  God loves a cheerful giver: one whose heart is in the giving.

We can not force people to give.  Actually, sadly, we can, but we most certainly can not make people’s hearts love to give.  Nothing feels less loving than conditional love.  Nothing feels less generous than compulsory giving.  Nothing produces less blessing than forced and guilt-driven gifts.  This goes way beyond Valentines day.  The joy of giving is actually stolen when it becomes no longer voluntary but because someone is begging for it.  Don’t steal my joy or reward by forcing upon me a dollar amount, a percentage, or a suggested amount.  Giving should not be packaged like a vitamin, with its Recommended Daily Allowance to go along with it.  It is incredibly personal and no one’s business.

The only consistent amount of money, time or services we are instructed to give can be summed up in a few words.  Give secretly.  Give willingly.  Give until it hurts.  Give your best.  Give your all.

As I look outside, it appears as if a few more inches are being added to our Mount Everest.  We may have a few more climbs before the weekend is over.

Patchwork Tea

I crave two things almost equally every day: quality time with people and… chocolate.  When an afternoon of tea with a friend is complimented with chocolate, it is pretty close to perfection. I am convinced if we spent less time stalking people from the comfort of our computer screens and more time actually getting to know them, we would be a much happier people.  Because if you just read my definition of a perfect afternoon and thought how pristine, calm and cozy that sounded, you may have gotten the wrong impression.  If you were here, you would have known how messy, loud and chilly it actually was… what with the mud, glitter, snacks, questions and the constantly opening door to the outside, all going on between sips and words.  My definition of perfect rarely, if ever, equals calm, quiet, neat or tidy.

Not one moment after I poured the tea, hungry child number one came into the kitchen:
Mom?  I’m hungry.
Ok.  Go outside and play for a while, then you can have a snack.  
We sat down, took one sip of tea, and began our conversation.  No sooner has someone heard us swallow before coming in to ask:
Mom?  Can I eat something?
No, go outside with your sibling and play first.  Don’t forget to shut the door!
We continued our conversation, seamlessly blending our last sentence into our next.  The interruption is merely like a breath between words.  Another breath:
Mom?  What can I eat?  I’m hungry!  
Another child walked into the kitchen.  I’m hungry too!
Go outside!  And shut the door behind you!
We entered back into the conversation.  It’s okay if we can’t remember where we left off, because mommy brains are used to forgetting.
Another poor unsuspecting child asks for food.  To me, it’s as if the same child has asked for a snack five times, when in reality it is a different child with the same song, fifth verse.  Mom?  I’m so hungry!  
Go outside!  And shut the door behind you!
A few minutes later, three children were eating apples and yogurt.

The door going outside opened and closed at least fifty-three times over the course of tea.  Thankfully, there is always hot water and good conversation in abundance.  Skinned knees, glitter, and more quests for food rounded out the afternoon.  Not quite like how “tea” is pictured in my head when I say it, but it’s better somehow.  There is no show, just a lot of love.  Conversation is pieced together like a patchwork quilt, all mismatched yet perfect.  Beauty is not in decor but in the person sharing that moment.  There is nothing expensive, but time is priceless.

Hospitality is not something we must perfect before we do it.  Have you ever tried to become perfect at playing the piano without ever practicing first?  The Bible says we are to practice hospitality.  No where does that mean your house has to be of a certain size, status of clean, or must you have matching dishes in order to be hospitable.  It simply means you exude a welcoming spirit into your home and your life.  We have sat on buckets as chairs, yet felt like kings and queens, because of love.  We have also sat on the finest couches and eaten off matching dishes and felt as if we were intruders.  Love opens the china closet and serves the finest wine.  Love makes time and never looks at its watch.  Love is measured not in what you give, so much as in what you hold back.  Until my breath is gone, or the city water supply runs dry, I can always offer a cup of water… preferably hot, poured over a tea bag. DSC_9320

Forever Young

Once in a while I am privy to the children’s imaginary games.  The other day Elsie was blocking the kitchen doorway so Jack couldn’t enter.  Apparently, there was certain criteria for one to enter the kitchen.  She began the interrogation:
How old are you?
One-hundred.
Do you have any children?
Yes.
Where is your mother?
At home.
And finally, the kicker.  The most important requirement for entering the kitchen: Do you have a grandma?
Yes.
You may pass through.

The other night they requested classical music and danced ball-room style.  They carefully choreographed the swing and spin.  It was fabulous.  DSC_7543
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When they were looking through old photo albums, both received major brownie points for their observations.
Mom, you  look so young now, said Jack.
She’s always young, Elsie countered, making my heart feel forever young.
  Betty also has her own specific interpretive dance.  First, with Elephant:
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Next, she likes to close her eyes… almost… and squint while her hands slowly raise into the air and she spins very slowly and purposefully.  A little toe raise here and there for good effect.DSC_7600-2 DSC_7604
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Then, when the audience starts to touch the rug one too many times, the entire dance is ruined and little ballerina melts into her own arms.DSC_7610
Everyone has been enjoying the new snow.  There have been snowmen and sledding galore!
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We had a marvelous Thanksgiving weekend with Matthew’s family, and then in New York with my entire family.  There were cousins, fun, and… of course, Grandmas.  I’ll save those pictures for another post soon.  I’ve been secretly working on surprises which have taken every waking minute.  And even when I have things to make and things to finish, somehow people still get hungry around here and their clothes still get dirty.  As I speak, the pizza is out of the oven, and we are ready to eat while the snow falls outside.

Flying From The Croup

I woke up at 9:00 this morning with a start, disproving the myth that moms can never again sleep in.  Take heart, mamas of young ones, it will happen again.  The sniffle and cough bug that’s been floating around our house took its toll on Matthew and I as well.  Since Matthew was feeling pretty sick for a few weeks now, he went to the doctor yesterday (who also happens to be our amazing brother-in-law) and he has what seems to be croup!  After a year and a half without being on prednisone, he is taking it for a week to see if it helps relieve the inflammation in his airways.  So far he is already feeling better and his regular voice is coming back.  It’s amazing how tired you can be when you aren’t breathing properly!

Roller-blades and skateboards have been the thing to do this week.  Monday they played some hockey with Daddy and yesterday they seamlessly played together like a real team.  Today has been another story, but it is encouraging to have days where the sibling glue is tight and strong and full of love.

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As I walked away from taking pictures of them, I overheard Elijah calling a “sports meeting” to order.  He really took Elsie under his wing and they teamed up on the skateboards.  Apparently she knows all sorts of tricks now from him, and she told him how much she enjoys playing with her nine-year-old brother.  He said he felt so honored.  The Bible isn’t lying when it paints up a picture of brothers and sisters living together in unity:  How good and pleasant it is!  

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We’ve recovered from Elsie’s knocked out tooth, and she got a good report from the dentist.  The croupy cough from Betty has improved greatly, though she kindly shared it with Jack, who shared it with me.  Thankful for many things this morning, though.  Another day to live, fresh promises that never grow old, new life, and strength for today.  Especially when teamwork needs a little encouragement.

Phone Dump:

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Ushering in July

Mommy, I love you.  Mommy, I kiss you.  Mommy, I will not be afraid.  These are just a few of the sweet things Betty said to me as I tucked her in tonight.  Her vocabulary, personality, and fine motor skills are fairly exploding.  She’s like a burst of colorful fireworks.  I don’t know how she will express herself next, but I know it’s going to be bold, bright, and beautiful.  She makes an impression on me every day and leaves her special mark on my heart that only her smile and dark brown eyes can do.

The last week has been full of strawberry picking, rain, new flowers showing their happy faces, rain, gorgeous sunsets, rain, old friends, rain, reading during quiet hour, more rain, and lots of games.

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I’ve been working on rearranging furniture and purging.  We actually got rid of about 75% of our movies.  I love how the kids were right on board with the idea of filling a laundry basket with videos and dvd’s. Out they went, along with the TV, and no one has complained once.  We can still watch movies on the computer, and each child has a preset 30 minute allotment on the computer each day.  Their account will automatically shut down after 30 minutes, which makes it easy for me and it has just about completely eliminated computer whining on their part and nagging on my part.

I also painted this reminder on the wall by our front door:

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Elsie has had an incredibly loose tooth for the past week.  Tonight I overheard this conversation between her and the boys:

Elijah: Elsie, if it falls out of your mouth while you’re sleep, you’re gonna die.
<Big pause> Then, on a lighter note, Elijah says: When you wake up and just look under your pillow, there’s a dollar.  Right, Jack?
Jack:  Mhm.
Elijah:  Yeah, it’s like a fairy.  She’s invisible.
Jack: It’s actually… an angel.
Elijah:  I could get the pliers and pull it out and there actually will be no pain at all.
This is about the time Elsie came down with a very worried look on her face, and the idea that maybe we should just use our fingers to pull it out came into play.  The tooth remains, and I certainly hope she doesn’t swallow it in her sleep.  Our kids have been known to swallow their teeth, but never while sleeping.

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So far our summer has been pretty swell.  I think this last picture captures my sentiments spot on perfectly:

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Happy July!