lessons

ER Date

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Please, God, just let us stay at home tonight, I kept praying.  Matthew went to bed at 8 o’clock, looking feverish and limping into bed.  A two-week-old gash on his leg changed from a sore that looked like it was healing, to an angry, swollen, sore leg.  Infection was swiftly making its home in his blood, taking up residence where it has no right to belong.  So, here we sit in Hallway Bed A.  Emergencies all around us, requiring us to take a hallway bed.

Thank you, Lord for his leg.  In a different century, that might not be.

We see how frail our bodies are.  How quickly a small trip up can lead to more serious consequences.  It was just a wooden box.  It was just a little wound.   How can it wreak such havoc?  One thing leads to another.

We see people we know.  A friend of theirs rushed here by ambulance because of an overdose.  One choice ravages a life.  One thing leads to another.

The red creeps past the black marker.

………………………………………………………………….

It’s been awhile now.  Antibiotics are surging into his bloodstream.  Picking a fight with the nasty bad guys we can’t see.  The red stops creeping.

Fear collides with peace.  We will keep our eyes on You.  

Going home for the rest of the night.  We’ve had fun on our ER date.  It’s been awhile since we had one of those.  Prayers all over the globe were answered on our behalf in a lavished-on grace-full way.  Home tonight.  We eat popcorn in our bed, fully aware that God is good.

We will keep our eyes on You.

World’s Toughest Mudder Experience

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Our tendency is to shy away from pain and discomfort.  This weekend I came face to face with over a thousand people who thought otherwise.  My husband was one of them.  Matthew competed in the World’s Toughest Mudder in New Jersey.  Nadine and I went to support and cheer him on.  If I could recap everything in a couple of words, I would choose: Muddy, Cold, and Stinking Hard.  Willingly, they began a 24-hour race stretching 10 miles, dotted with 32 obstacles.  The goal: get through as many laps as you could in 24-hours.  It started out as quite fun.  Beautiful weather, warm gloves, french fries and treats made our spectator spot quite appealing.

Some friends sent us off with a package of treats which we enjoyed immensely   Another friend mailed me a package with 24 gifts to open at each hour.  We lined them up on the dashboard of our van, and I took a picture of most of them, but once it got dark I put my camera away.  I appreciated the toothbrush and toothpaste for when my mouth got “woolly”, and the glow sticks at 9pm were a great hit.  The handwarmers at midnight were a lifesaver!  Books to pass the time, and other gifts to simply make me smile and take my mind off the shivers.  Thank you! 
Matthew’s “tent” site, without a tent.  Simply a blanket, chair and box of ice-tea and food… everything that wasn’t consumed was frozen solid by night.


My wonderful daughter who kept me company and helped my spirit tremendously throughout the day.

Coming off Everest.  One side they slid down, then on the other side of the lap they had to scale it again.
Our favorite guy.

Once the sun started dipping over the horizon, however, things took quite a different turn.  The temperature dropped so low that everything wet started to freeze.  That basically meant every single surface, since there was mud and water everywhere.  My boots no longer kept my feet warm, and I wondered at the wet sneakers of each runner, and how their toes weren’t falling off.  I won’t give you a breakdown of every hour, but between the hours of 10pm and 1am, I was at my lowest.   The hat and gloves Matthew was wearing didn’t fit him correctly, so he had taken them off,  which later made matters worse.  His hands were so cold.  This was in the back of my mind while Nadine and I warmed ourselves in the van.  She eventually fell asleep and I set off to try to find Matthew since we had lost contact with him for 3 hours.   At midnight I walked the now familiar mile to the 29th obstacle, to see if I could find him.  I did.  He was the best muddy sight I have ever seen.  Holding back my tears, and while my feet froze in my dry boots, I watched him go through icy cold water and then through some electroshock “therapy”.  We walked the last frigid mile together.  When we split up, he told me he would see if he could warm his hands and feet.  I went to our van to close my eyes for a bit, and the next thing I knew, he was knocking on the window, bags in hand.  His body felt physically able to continue, but the cold dominated.  He completed 40 miles total.

I’m so incredibly proud of his determination, his courage to face very difficult situations, his stamina, and his wisdom to know when enough is enough.  I’m so thankful for the people who rallied around us during this weekend.  I’m so thankful that Matthew didn’t suffer any injuries, and that we were able to grow closer to each other through this experience.

Love Does

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One of my favorite books is by Bob Goff, called Love Does.  Today my life felt like a chapter in that book.  This morning I woke up to the beeping of my phone and this text from a friend: Dear Weldons, would you like to come spend the day with us?  We will make you a pancake breakfast, we will get your laundry started, and then we’ll get to work on school stuff.  We would love to have you!  I went to bed wondering what the day would hold.  I woke up so incredibly touched by this practical invitation.  Love does.  Today at lunch, at a full table of a dozen children and two mommies, Nadine thanked the Lord that our water was off so we could enjoy the day with our friends!  I’m also thankful that I can run over to another friend’s house and go to the bathroom at any hour.  I’m thankful for the offers of showers and baths.  Sometimes we think about how we could help others, instead of just doing it.  Being on the receiving end of love in action is incredible, but not even as much as being on the giving end.  He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.  Prov. 11:25  Getting outside our comfort zone is awkward sometimes.  It might involve having some un-bathed family raid your house and cupboards.  It might not even be that dramatic.  But when we love practically and specifically, we bless in eternal measures.  Pressed down, shaken together, running over kind of blessings.

Seventy-Four Miles

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Today was seeped in tears and thick emotion.  A let down, I suppose, of the hefty weekend.  My tears were last night.  The kids’ were today.

I really, really hope that people realize that when I admit to feeling sad, frustrated, disappointed, etc. (normal human emotions) this does not equate that I hate my life, my circumstances, nor wish things upon myself that can not be.  I truly love my life.  But I am not always happy, cheerful, well-groomed (stop by today and you’ll see!), nor eager.  This weekend tested my every last bit of endurance.  As I hugged Matthew last night, though, I was sincere as I whispered, “I would do it again tomorrow if I could.”  I love and support my husband and we’re a team.

The race started with an ok sleep the night before (not good, when you’re anticipating being up for the next 24 hours).  The morning unfolded with a leisurely cup of hot tea and yummy breakfast outside Lloyd Hall on Boathouse Row in Philadelphia.  The rain was coming down since 4am, which added an aspect of dreariness and well, dampness..  We really didn’t prepare for rain.  But, at 10AM the shout was given, and the 24-hour race commenced.

Matthew looked good for the first 16 miles before hitting an unexpected early wall.  It took another 16+ miles of climbing to get over it, and finally by the afternoon he was feeling much better.  The rain stopped.  Things looked sunny.  After puddle-running for most of the day, his feet were complete prunes, so he switched shoes and clothes and then kept going.

Around 1AM things got worse when I offered to run with him and couldn’t keep up.  We’ve hashed through this now, so I can write about it.  I truly thought he needed someone with him,  and he didn’t know how to gently say that I would hold him back.  So I ran the 8th loop.  Sort of.  Actually, I had not run 8 miles since his race last year.  It messed with his concentration, as he felt the need to take care of the one who was supposed to be taking care of him.  On the next, the ninth loop, things went from bad to worse.  Two miles from the finish line a biker patrol found him sitting down, and since he was a bit slow to respond, called in to the medics who called in to me.  We met at the medical tent where he was fine, just exhausted.  By the time he had checked out fine with the doc, his mental game was toast and his body just started to shut down.  It’s amazing how far your body can push when your mind is still telling it that it’s fine to keep going.  Once that voice clicks off, the body literally stops.  It believes the words, “I can’t,” unless they’re not uttered.

So, around 4AM, he had run 74 miles and was finished.  It is mind-blowing, really.  I drove 74 miles last week.  The disappointment came from not finishing 100+miles, and stopping before 24-hours.  It was a hard hit for both of us.  I am so proud of him.  We could have let a root of bitterness build up between us.  I could blame myself and so could he, but we both chose to move on, learn, and grow from this experience.  He inspires me and so many others with his determination, drive, and seemingly crazy goals.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Law of Disorder

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It’s inevitable.  The messes.  The laundry piles.  The law of physics which says that even when things are left perfectly alone, they will eventually deteriorate.  Order must always decrease.  It should be called the law of home-making.  This is a typical laundry day in our house:

That doesn’t include sheets that have been accidentally wet during the night.  Thankfully those sheets and blankets were already on the laundry room floor when I heard Elijah frantically yelling, “Mom!  Mom!  The sink is doing it again!” The sheets were quick to soak up some of the gallons of water rushing out of our small sink in the bathroom, but the flood was pretty extreme.  The plug will sometimes fall into ‘closed’ position and is very difficult to pull back up again.  Unfortunately, the water was left running at the same time.  So… an extra little mopping was done here today.  Ah, entropy.

Speaking of things being left alone… yesterday we had somewhat of a scare.  Again, I heard a rather desperate call for me from upstairs.  Betty was in the bathroom with the door closed (she can do that too) and she had reached the lock with her little hands and locked the door.  The lock is only able to be opened from the outside of the door with a skeleton key, as the doorknobs are those old-fashioned giant diamonds.  I immediately freaked out and called Matthew.  I needed the skeleton key, which both of us saw recently but couldn’t remember where, or a locksmith.  With visions of disaster speeding through my head, I prayed and then did the only reasonable thing I could think of doing quickly: climb onto the roof.  So, out the boys’ bedroom window I crawled, walking carefully to the adjacent bathroom window, the hot slanted rooftop toasty under my sandals.  I pried open the screen of the bathroom window and gave Betty a startle when I called her name.  She was sitting in front of the door, playing with the other kids’ fingers under the door, looking unfazed by the whole ordeal.  I unlocked the door and everyone cheered.  Jack said, “Mom, that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen you do!”  I really, really hope that I never have to climb out on the roof again.  The kids all had a crash course on why putting Betty in the bathroom is NOT a good idea, and we are on the lookout for our skeleton key in case anything like that happens again.  Thankfully it was such a warm day, so the windows were all open!

My fourth load of wash is on the clothesline, school happened, and we have laughed entropy in the face by all of our vacuuming and putting away.  I’m desperately hoping to do better than cereal for supper tonight.  Cooking is one thing that does not fall into any law of physics.  This is called the second law of home-making: supper, if left completely alone, will not just happen.

Broken Tulip and a Road Trip

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This tulip was accidently smooshed the other day.  I thought it really had died, but with a little love it now sits happily in a vase on my kitchen table.  I’m thankful it got broken, because now I can enjoy its beauty whenever I walk into the kitchen!  It’s brokenness forced me to embrace its loveliness and not miss out on it while it grew in the garden where I looked maybe once a day.  So much like our own lives.  Sometimes we have to be broken in order for the beauty of Christ to shine brighter.   Sometimes we are moved to the kitchen table to bring more blessing and joy to others than if we had remained where we were more comfortable.  Now that it’s in a vase of water, it is actually growing more, because tulips never stop growing, even after they’re picked.  Brokenness leads to growth.

Easter was a special day with family.  Betty was in on the action this year.

Cousins always add an element of delight to any day!

I’m not sure what Betty was doing.  It seemed like she didn’t want to touch the grass with her knees.  Nope, she’s still not walking.  Just doing yoga.

This weekend I’m super duper excited to drive away to Syracuse with my sister and enjoy a weekend away!  We will be relishing time with my other sister and 3 friends we grew up with in Africa… I can already feel my stomach hurting from the laughter, my eyes stinging from the tears, and my heart filling up with once-a-year-maybe-more kind of memories.  What amazing husbands we have to happily let us go and enjoy time with our sisters!  It’s going to be grand.  Happy Friday!  May it be beautiful.

A Growth-full Week

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It’s been the inevitable low after the high.  A great weekend, followed by some real-life hard times.  What better way to break up the monotony than taking a field trip to a local farm/veterinary clinic?  So, yesterday we headed out to some friends’ farm for some animal fun.

Nadine was in her glory, feeding the baby goats and petting the horses.  Betty wasn’t as sure about the goats at first, but soon warmed up to them.  She also got licked many time by one of the dogs until she giggled.  It was so adorable.

 

 

Jack was super brave to ride the horse bare-back in his crocs.  He’s brave in other ways too.  The other day I was watching him from the bathroom window.  He was outside, tying a karate belt to a tree branch.  Next, he climbed the tree and tied the other end to a higher branch.  Then he jumped down and grabbed hold of the loop he just made.  After a quick tug to make sure it was tight, he confidently hoisted himself about four off the ground and started to pull himself up by the rope.  All of a sudden, one end came untied and he fell flat on his back with a thud.  I expected tears, but he lay there for a second before brushing himself off and standing up.  I came outside to make sure he was okay, and before I could ask him, he said, “Mom!  Guess what?  I just made a trap and it works!”  Pause.  “I tested it.”  Oh, my.

I know the Lord has great plans for that boy.  When he’s not being tough, he is super sweet.  He’s been diligently working on his letters and numbers.  I found that counting to a hundred while pulling out a measuring tape is right up his alley.

Betty has been changing so much this month!  She still gives us “the look” with wrinkled nose, furrowed eyebrows and a loud squawking sound to accompany it.  We are working on our manners and today she learned how to give high fives.  Her favorite thing outside is to collect rocks, put them into something and give a high five after each rock.  She’s sporting seven teeth, with more popping through very soon.  She loves to talk with her hands and tell stories with much inflection.  Perhaps a linguist?

There is something satisfying about watching boys whack things with sticks.  Their language isn’t with words, but rather with loud noises and a mutual understanding of sounds and war-like cries.

They are very different than girls.


Girls are pretty and sweet.  Even with a drooly mouth, this one still looks beautiful.

So, even though I’ve been challenged to my core this week on wife-hood and mother-hood, I’m so thankful for the rewards each day.  Hugs, forgiveness, love, smiles, and little glimpses of growth in hearts and minds.

The Open Book Test

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“If I give you all the answers, then you’ll never learn!”  I said in a more exasperated voice than I meant to towards my daughter.  The statement turned around, looked me in the face and seemed to echo back to my ears: say what?

I’ve been thinking about it ever since.  Sometimes things pop out of my mouth, then backfire in a way that make me a little uncomfortable.  I feel a bit silly.  Those oh-so-wise-sounding words are like boomerangs sailing from my mouth back to my heart.  Trust me.  Be nice.  Be patient.  Oh, and stop yelling, for crying out loud!  Oops.


Artwork by Jack.  Sometimes I feel like the one on the left.  Or the right.

Honestly, I’m going through a ton of learning right now.  No answers are  being shelled out to me.  Real life questions, like how & why, are prevalent in my every day.  They are like English lesson 53 is to my daughter.  She cries out for answers, yet to give in to her  pleads would be to rob her of really mastering that bit of education put before her.  In the same way,  I cry out for the answers.  His voice answers in a very familiar way, telling me that I’ll never learn if He just tells me all the answers.  Trust is imperative to obedience.  The how’s, why’s and when’s will work themselves out as we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts.

I was reading in James last week, and on Sunday heard a sermon on James chapter 1.  The similarities to what I have been thinking about and going through were so striking.  The tests God gives us are to see if we have learned anything.  He knows us so deeply, and He deems us ready to take the very test we are experiencing.  Sometimes He tests us because He wants to hear from us.  I know that is something I need to improve upon: my communication with Him.

There is a ton of learning yet to be done.  I hope that I can guide my children towards the truth without giving them all the answers.  I pray that they will use God’s word to seek out all of the answers to life’s questions.  It’s an Open-Book test every single day.  How thankful I am that He gently leads those with young… because I have five young, and I need leading.

Snap-O

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Today, after a wonderful morning with my kids, unexpectedly meeting delightful friends in a parking lot, and filling our fridge with much-needed food… something went snap.  Was it the thirtieth time of stepping over that puzzle on the dining room floor?  Maybe the crunch under my feet of the seventh goldfish meeting it’s demise.  Perhaps it was the picking of the the lock in the front door with a jack knife.  No, I bet it was that last time someone said they were hungry, even though they just ate eleven minutes ago.  Whatever the case, this mama went “SNAP-O!”  Snap-O.  Sounds like a fun game!  It’s not.  It’s dreadful, really.  It’s when your mouth opens and things rather loudly come out that aren’t nice.  It often leads to tears.  It must be followed up by apologies, or snap-o becomes contagious.

A wonderful admonition came when I was talking on the phone to Matthew and he reminded me (again) that they are children.  I thought maybe I got that by now.  Sometimes I forget, though.  Sometimes I expect so much out of them or myself and before I know it, “SNAP-O” comes flying at me like a deck of cards being released and I stand there blinking and confused.  I get tired of picking up the cards again, but thankfully forgiveness deals me another turn.  God is so gracious.

Then there was rollerblading through the kitchen,  a crying baby who wanted to be held, and multiple requests for food.  Relief came when Matthew walked in the door and offered to take the kids to the park so I could finish making supper.  I didn’t realize how much I needed that break until it came.  Peace reigned supreme as he called from the front door, “I have all of them!”  Even Betty?  Even Betty.  Twenty minutes later they came back with rosy cheeks and Betty was all smiles.  She knows she’s hot stuff doing big girl things like playing at the park with her brothers and sisters.  Her grin couldn’t be erased.

This weekend was fun and relaxing at the Weldon’s.  We enjoyed a walk, good food, and being together.Outside, the sidewalk chalk scrawled out just one request: snow, please.
The snowman lights echoed the request.

Cozy warmth beckoned me back inside, where the sound of Adele filled the kitchen and the sight of busy little chefs were hard at work.Elsewhere, the boys found things which their hearts enjoy.


Family is so incredibly special to me.  I have to focus in on these amazing moments of love…especially when I feel the Snap about to fly.

What on Earth???

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The other day Elsie said something so funny, yet so profound.  Matthew was working on something and instead of asking him, “What on earth are you doing?” she asked, “What are you doing on the earth!”  It is a valid question, you know.  One that we all should answer.  What am I doing?  Besides the obvious course of survival mode we all habitually travel to remain alive?  There have been definite days in my life where I barely survive.  Days with little feeling of hope, excitement, or feelings of fulfillment.  What am I doing on this earth?  Is my purpose far-reaching, even eternal?  Was I merely put on this earth to wipe babies’ bottoms and cook one-thousand-and-ninety-five meals a year?  Or is there a deeper purpose for my existence?

Yesterday was one of those days when it was pretty hard not to feel the breath of heaven wash over my soul.  I know that sixty-two degrees in January, in Pennsylvania, is not normal or to be expected.  I also know it is fleeting.  My entire being craved the sunshine and warm air so intensely that I feel like it was a gift from my Father sent to bless me personally.  I also know it blessed many other people as well!  I had the privilege of sharing the afternoon with some friends from church, and we took a nature walk through a near-by park.  The outdoors called our names and we just hollered right back, “Coming!”  And we went.


Betty was so cute with her little friend, Will.  She is one month older and liked trying to hold his hand.  They were so sweet together!


We explored the water and soaked in our fill of Vitamin D.

This is one reason I’m on this earth: to love these amazing kids who love life and the God who made them.

Oh to see more clearly that when I love them… what I am doing on this earth is making a difference in eternity.

I am so thankful for every moment on this earth.  There are glimpses of glory and heaven when the sunshine kisses my skin.  Then there are glimpses of how temporary our time on this earth is.  On our way home from the park we were almost hit head-on by someone speeding around the corner of a tight turn.  A flash of how fleeting and wonderful each moment we are given flew through my mind in an instant.


This morning when I got up, the kids had been awake for a little while and told me they had a surprise that I would really like.  Yesterday they had made me breakfast, so I was pretty curious what they had up their pajama sleeves this morning.  I shuffled downstairs to my chipper children who had finished two subjects of school already.  Neatly and correctly.  This has never happened before!  It touches my heart when they think of these kinds of things on their own.  It gives me hope to counter attack the doubt that sneaks into my thoughts sometimes.  My kids are messy, loud, and don’t always make the right choices.  Guess what?  Neither do I.  But they are also growing, learning, and come up with the most brilliant ideas!  I learn from them every day, and even though I love them so much, I need to tell them so better.  Hug them often.  Say, “You’re so smart!” more.  I can’t take it for granted that they’re alive!  I believe God created them to do unique and awesome things while they’re here.  Somehow He entrusted me with this crazy huge job called Mothering.

So, what are you doing on earth?