Silver Belle

December 23, 2016December 23, 2016 / amylynw / 1 Comment

This past month has been absolutely overflowing. We bought a house. We had a baby. He is one month old.

Oh, and one more big thing happened too.

Matthew told me he would be a little bit late coming home from work on Wednesday night, because of some Christmasy errands he had to do. No questions asked on my part, because I LOVE surprises. He came home with a small box in hand and a note rolled up. I expected him to put it under the tree, but he went into the kitchen (looking back, it was probably to try to calm himself down) then came back into the living room where I was holding Harry on the couch. He sat down next to me, took Harry, and gave me the box. Nadine was standing next to me, recording on her phone. I tilted my head and asked if that was really necessary. Yes. Yes, it was. He told me to read the note first.

My beautiful Amy Lyn,
Just about 15 years ago you married a teenager. What a journey it has been so far! You have had to wait a little while as the boy you married became a man. Haha! You have lovingly stood with me through the most difficult and uncertain times of my life and for that I am extremely thankful. I know I have not always considered the full weight of the responsibility that I have as your husband. There have been times that I have not stepped up as I wish I would have. This Christmas, this anniversary I want to renew my love for you, my commitment to you and express the overwhelming joy that I have each day to work hard for you! With this ring, I want to express my unending love for you and resolve to always consider you. Each time you see it, if we are apart, remember that I am working hard to come home. I love you more than words could ever express. The greatest blessing in my life is the prospect of growing old with you, my bride. Merry Christmas!
I love you!
Matthew

The entire note was interrupted by many sniffles on my part and more snippets of, “Does she really have to be recording this?” And, “Do I really have to read this out loud?” because I kept choking up. When I read, “with this ring,” I got a bit fluttery inside. We had talked about maybe getting a wrap for my engagement ring, to celebrate our anniversary in a couple of weeks. But I knew there were other more pressing needs, so I was NOT expecting that. I gulped and opened the box. There was a silver ring, threaded through a gold-trimmed red ribbon. Underneath all the ribbon, attached to the ring, was a key fob. I just stared at it. “Matthew!” is my favorite thing to exclaim when I’m a bit overcome or excited. He told me to look out the window. This is when the recording by Nadine starts to have a lot of excited movement as everyone rushed to the window. There, on the street, with a big white bow on the hood, was parked a new van.

We had started talking and praying about this need a few months ago. Well, pretty much the day we found out we were having another baby. Oceanus only seats 7. We had more recently been doing a lot of research on this particular make and model. I had spent many hours reading and sending Matthew photos of different vans, all while he worked secretly behind my back to settle on this one. So patient.

The kids immediately settled on naming her “Silver Belle”. We all hopped in and drove to my parents to surprise them.

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We are all completely blown away. Such a lot of change this year. God gave me the word “Freedom” at the beginning of the year, and it has truly been a year of freedom for us. He has set us free from many fears, unhealthy mindsets, and doubts. He has restored things which were broken, and given us courage to ask, knock and seek. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

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Let Freedom Grow

July 1, 2016 / amylynw / Leave a comment

A word which has shaped and defined this year is freedom. I’m seeing it played out in so many ways throughout my every day. For instance. Today my skirt fell off. Under many circumstances, this would have been categorized as one of my most embarrassing moments. Thankfully, I was *only* outside in the front yard, having just walked out to our van to grab something and bring it inside. The mailman wasn’t there. No one was walking by. The neighbors weren’t mowing their lawn. I speedily pulled it together and ran inside. This can be categorized as freedom, though not exactly what I had in mind on January 1st. My box of wrap skirts have taken center stage in my wardrobe. And I will not let a small setback, such as one falling off of me, deter me from wearing them. My twenty-week-belly loves the wrap skirt idea. 2016-06-30 17.31.40 This week the kids have been able to feel baby Chip move so much. Their faces are priceless! Jack sat there with his hand on my tummy for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden his hand shot back and he looked at me with his eyes and mouth about the same width. It was great! As I sit on the front porch this evening after a busy day of mommy-ing, attacking the weeds in my garden, and doing the regular mounds of laundry, I feel some kicking. Baby Chip most certainly had a growth spurt this week, because all of a sudden I make a funny noise when I bend over, forgetting my front has expanded into my ribcage when in that position. That, and I keep stubbing my toes when I walk upstairs. I think it’s because I don’t lift my legs as high right before I take a step. Pretty much on the dot, every night around 11pm the gymnastics starts, and I sit with my hand on my belly, in wonderment at another life bursting with joy inside of me. Freedom.
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For the past six weeks, Elsie has had a cast on her right arm. After about a day of figuring out how to do stuff with a perpetually bent arm, she quickly resumed life with a cast, almost as if she had none. She literally lets nothing hold her back. Even without the use of her thumb, she figured out how to tie her shoes, do monkey bars, climb, ride a bike and even play baseball!
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Monday was a big day for her, when she was liberated from its confines. Freedom. They say a picture is worth a thousand words:
IMG_8590[1] This week I had to say goodbye to a dear, sweet friend. Our husbands met at a spin class about 8 years ago, which was definitely a God-ordained meeting, since I don’t think either of them have been to a spin class ever since. Our kids are the same age, and we’ve watched and prayed eachother through some mutually serious health issues. She is the friend who introduced Plexus to me, and after watching her journey to health and freedom, jumped in to join her. She has been an incredible source of joy and encouragement and wisdom to me the past few years. I love how in Heaven others will truly find out how much impact they’ve had on your life. Thankfully Tennessee isn’t too far, but knowing I can’t just pop over makes me get a little teary. Letting loved ones go and be and do what they’ve been called to is one of the hardest things on earth, I believe. Yet, letting them go gives you more freedom to love stronger and deeper and further than before.
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Once a week Nadine has been getting back into the saddle. It’s the highlight of her week. She gets to ride with one of her best friends as well, which adds all sorts of amazingness to her week. To me, it’s scary. To her, it’s freedom. She continues to be a huge source of help to me around the house and is growing in her babysitting abilities. nrw
Today our not-so-bitty-Betty lost her first tooth! She is growing up, embracing her big sister role already, and is somwhat of an old soul. Sometimes I look at her and wonder on what wavelength she communicates to God. He must tell her things I can’t quite fathom. If you’ve ever had a conversation with her, you might understand what I’m having a hard time putting in to words. Growing up requires a little bit of pain, which usually results in more freedom.
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Speaking of growing up. There are these two characters who live in the attic, who often sound like a small herd of elephants when they come down the stairs. But they are in actuality, boy-men. Boys trapped in bodies which are swiftly becoming men. Boys who dream of motorcycles and ammunition and muscles and big stuff like jobs. Jobs that pay money so Elijah can get his pilot’s license and fly his friends wherever they want to go. It’s fun to listen to their dreams and know that many of them will come true if we never plant seeds of doubt into their fertile minds. Freedom.

Apparently there is a “look back and compare an old picture of you and your spouse to now” thing going on over on facebook. So, for fun I decided to do just that. I practically died when I pulled out this doozy of a photo from nine years ago! Matthew had been sick for about a year and a half, was on high doses of toxic meds, and I was barely surviving as a mom of three. How incredibly blessed and grateful I am for the road we have traveled, and for the way the Lord has helped us navigate the stormy path. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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We don’t even know how many prayers have gone up for us on Matthew’s behalf. So many. There were times we literally felt like there was no way to go on. We praise the Lord for the gift of health. We know we are never guaranteed another breath. But for every breath we are given, we praise Him! Matthew is out running right now, his reflective vest on, heart pumping, lungs breathing, windpipe open. Not something we would have thought about before. It is the storm which has made our love so strong. It is being in the pit which has made the air above so clean and worth savoring. 2016-06-28 23.14.09
We pray for open hands to receive both the sickness and the health. The richer and the poorer. Til death do us part. In doing this, there is great freedom.

Flare-Ups, Squeaky Brakes, and Thankful Hearts

November 26, 2014November 26, 2014 / amylynw / Leave a comment

Fall is doing its steady march toward winter, and Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I know time does not in actuality move any faster each year, but the feeling of it moving extra swiftly is real.

The past month has been full of life. I’ve been staying up late at night, finishing projects that require silence, as silence is hard to come by around here before 10pm. So naturally I’ve been sleeping in a bit later as well. Yesterday, Betty came to snuggle with me. She convinced me it was time to get up, because, “Look! The sunshine is awake!” She has been full of so many funnies, I don’t even write half of them down. Yesterday there was a spider crawling on the ground. Not a normal sight in our house, and she was more freaked out than I thought she would be. After awhile of being on the couch, she starting dancing up and down and said how she had to go potty. She didn’t want to leave the couch because of the spider (which was long gone by now). She even tried to talk herself out of being scared. “Spiders don’t live in houses. They live on spider webs.” It didn’t work. “I’m scared of spiders. I don’t know where to go.” Elsie had the perfect solution: walk on the floor all around the carpet, and don’t touch the carpet where the spider was last seen. Problem solved. Their cute little feet tip-toed all around the carpet and walked to the bathroom. She also loves to sing. Sometimes she pulls out my guitar and sings all about Jesus. At the particular moment one of these was taken, she was singing a song about Jesus and rock-climbing on a mountain.
We were looking at pictures yesterday, and Betty kept thinking photos of Elsie were of her. We determined it was their hair that seemed so similar. She looked at Elsie, stroked her hair and said, “I know. Now your hair is growed up!” I’m not the only one amazed at how time is passing.

This weekend we went to see some friends in a ballet of Snow White. I took the girls, and it was absolutely hilarious sitting next to Betty. She followed the story really well, but her ongoing commentary was a hoot. At one point, she was watching one ballerina, who was supposed to be a bird, doing some flying leaps in the air. She whispered loud enough for everyone around us to hear and chuckle, “How does she do that?! You know, mommy, birds can’t dance. They fly.”

Elsie is an avid reader. Her favorite place to read is the top of the stairs, after everyone has gone to bed. We can hear her voice, drifting down the stairs, and it usually gets louder the longer she reads. She is keeping track of how many hours she reads, and I believe it is up to fourteen hours. She certainly keeps us on our toes. She is my faithful companion when it comes to running errands or tidying the house. She has been reading a book about astronomy, which led us to a discussion about how the earth is floating, and she said in an awed voice, “God is just doing His powers right now!”
Jack is wrestling again. A few weekends ago, Matthew took the boys to a wrestling tournament and Jack got third place. Elijah wrestled as well and got fifth place. Jack has decided to stick with it for the rest of the season, and it’s fun to watch him. He is also becoming more of a reader. He even brought his book to the grocery store last week, and was seen reading in the cart. This was a first. Jack takes up a lot of energy, but his heart is solid.
The blur that is Jack, pretty much sums up how he lives life.

Elijah just turned eleven! While the boys were at the wrestling tournament, the girls, Matt’s mom, and I all worked hard to switch up bedrooms to surprise them. Nadine has her own room again, the girls came downstairs, and the attic is now a boy haven. The exclamation point up there is the drum set we got Elijah for his birthday. He is a gifted musician, and it’s fun to hear him improving on the piano and drums. He is pretty sure his voice is changing, and though it’s scratchy some days, I’m not convinced yet.

Nadine claims she is constantly hungry, which could be the contributing factor to the extra inch in height she has seemed to procure lately. Yes, she is taller than me. She loves to write, and is currently working on a fabulous chapter book for kids. She babysits regularly and gets a lot of practice with her own siblings. She is currently taking a small break from horseback riding, but is excited to get back in the saddle soon. I love her zest for life, though it often makes me feel exhausted. Much of what she says and does makes me chuckle, when I remember how similar I was at twelve.
Matthew had a scare at the beginning of the month, which sent us down to Jefferson Hospital. Turns out it was not as bad as we were thinking, but there was enough inflammation to get our attention. Then this week his voice started to take a downhill turn again. After today’s appointment with his Rheumatologist, it was determined he will begin Rituxan infusions again to see if we can nip this in the bud before it gets to be where he was a year and a half ago. We are thankful. When he talks and I hear his voice catch and sound hoarse, I immediately give my fears back to the God who knows exactly what’s going on inside his body. Every day is so incredibly precious with this man I love.
The snow forecasted for today has started to fall. Our van is in the shop, getting its embarrassingly squeaky brakes fixed. I actually have gotten wide-eyed looks from people as I pull into a parking spot and come to a stop. They look like they would like to throw something at me for the pain I’ve caused their ears. I pretend like I didn’t hear anything. Squeak? What squeak? Last month our friend did some body work on it. I am embarrassed to say, but I backed into a boat trailer one September afternoon. Thankfully, the trailer suffered only a broken tail light. Oceanus was worse for the wear. On top of that, I could barely get gas in the tank because there was a small metal flap that had broken off and was hanging in such a way so the pump nozzle would get stuck. So, one night Matthew was trying to fix it. He had a pencil in his hand to hold up one side of the piece, while he tried to bend it with some pliers. It was dark. He was holding three things with two hands. It happened. He walked in the door and I said, “You did not.” He did. The pencil dropped into the gas tank. It was actually kind of funny. Even more funny was explaining it to our friend. He actually was able to fish it out for us. Now we have a pencil-free and dent-free van. Oh, and hopefully a squeak-free one soon as well.

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There is much to be thankful for today and always. Happy Thanksgiving!

Run Wild With The Hope

September 16, 2014September 16, 2014 / amylynw / Leave a comment

Amazing experiences are like pearls hidden in a shell. Unless you know there is treasure inside, it is just an ugly shell. This weekend may have looked like a crazy-dirty-roll-my-eyes-at-another-race-type-run to most people, but if you can be patient, I hope I can unpack and share with you some treasures I found hidden in the rough.

It started as a team of twelve people I barely knew. Names painted onto a van. It ended very differently.

We had two vans, with six runners per van. Every runner had three legs to complete, so we made check boxes for each of us to fill in as we finished. Art meets brawn. Or something like that.
As second runner, I waited for my first run and tried not to think about how cold I was. I imagined the warmth that would soon be coursing through my blood once I got going. Once Bonnie tagged me, I was off.
I had a two-mile climb before cresting the hill and experiencing an incredible view. The van drove by me to yell through the windows, words of encouragement. And I listened to words of worship and blessing through songs in my ears.

And the single hawk bursts into flight
And in the east the whole horizon is in flames
I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And with the prairies I am calling out Your name…
And there is still a faith
That can make the mountains move
And a love that can make the heavens ring
And I’ve seen love make heaven ring…
From the place where morning gathers
You can look sometimes forever ’til you see
What time may never know
How the Lord takes by its corners this old world
And shakes us forward and shakes us free
To run wild with the hope
The hope that this thirst will not last long
That it will soon drown in the song
Not sung in vain
And I feel thunder in the sky
I see the sky about to rain
And I hear the prairies calling out Your name.

I slowed my pace to catch this view with my phone. It doesn’t do it justice. I felt so free up there, maybe a bit like how a bird feels when he’s flying across the beauty only visible between earth and sky. I could feel the glory of the mountains breaking into song and the trees clapping their hands. I was spectator to the majestic song of praise that is constantly being sung. My feet kept time, I met with my Maker up there, and it felt like holy ground.

At the second exchange, I tagged runner 3, and we were off to encourage him. Sometimes it meant screaming through open van windows, and sometimes it meant using sidewalk chalk along the craziest climb of the race. rr3

Through each exchange, each runner tagged the next.

There was a particularly breath-taking view along the way, right before Matthew’s first run.

Who spoke the Earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life
With the will to trust or run and hide

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breathes in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ

After Matthew ran in to finish leg 1 for our van, we headed to another exchange to wait until van 2 finished their first leg. We slept, refueled, and played Phase 10. It’s always more fun when you win.

I was a bit nervous about running through the night. Donning my headlight, strobe light, and reflective vest, I headed out into the darkness. They weren’t the only things lighting my way.

For all of this life
Your Spirit ignites
A heavenly fire
Untouched by the night

You opened our eyes
Turned death into life
Revealing all truth
There’s no one like You.

In the midst of the darkest night
Let Your love be the shining light
Breaking chains that were holding me
You sent Your Son down and set me free
Everything of this world will fade
I’m pressing on till I see Your face

At a few points during that run, my team pulled over and got out of the van to cheer me on. I’m having a hard time putting into words how that actually made me feel. It was a condensed version of life, really. We all go through dark times, when fears are tangible and light is dim to nonexistent. The second I took my eyes off the light from my headlamp, and darted them into the woods lining the dark road, my heart could feel the darkness. When our eyes are fixed on the light and power that is Jesus Christ, we are truly set free from the fear of darkness. Because darkness is really just the absence of light. Dark times can also be very lonely times. There was literally not a speck of life on some stretches of that road. When those cheering voices came into view, the feeling of loneliness and isolation was immediately overwhelmed by love. Love stands outside on a cold dark night and yells your name until you smile and find more strength in your weary legs.

When we finished our night runs, we were able to rest for a couple of hours at one of the exchanges. The third and final leg began right at dawn. My legs were sore, but quickly the adrenaline gave me an extra boost I didn’t think was possible. We had a few people’s cell phone’s taking pictures along the way. This one is not from my particular leg, but every run had the ever-encouraging “one mile to go” sign posted and blinking. It was pretty exciting to hand off the bracelet one more time, and then revel in the joy of being finished.

Finished running, maybe, but not finished cheering on my team.

When we all completed our legs, we ate a delicious meal before driving to the finish-line in Washington D.C. I even managed to wash my hair and self in the small bathroom sink at Panera. Glory.
The view was gorgeous from the finish line, and then it began to pour. Van 2 team did an amazing job of enduring over very difficult hills, through the night, and in the rain. A few minutes before our last runner crossed the finish line, the sun came out and smiled on our tired but happy team.

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Driving home, the sun kept on shining. Check marks on the windows reminded me of hundreds of miles run. Goals accomplished. Hills conquered. Darkness overwhelmed by light. No longer just names painted on a van. Real souls, with stories of their own. Real hearts that pump blood through their bodies. Bodies capable of more than each of us thought possible at times. Names turned into friends. Friends who made me laugh to my core, and changed me in some intangible way I haven’t quite figured out yet. But I know I’m better because of them.
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I’ve been shaken up a little. Pushed out of my comfort zone a lot. And somewhere out there on the road, I found a part of myself I didn’t know was missing.

When I agreed to this race, I only saw the shell. I was skeptical of the entire idea. Yet through the hard work and grit and grime, a real pearl emerged. It reflects teamwork, laughter, determination, and friendship. Unique and priceless. Press on. You never know where the next road will take you.

Oh I Would Run 3 Miles or More Just To See You Walk Right Through That Door

August 25, 2014August 25, 2014 / amylynw / 2 Comments

Today was our “official” first day of school. Everyone dove in excitedly, and we got everything done that was on our schedule! We waited all day for Matthew to come home, because we knew he was driving home in something pretty special. If you heard the screaming from the West End, those were our children excitedly welcoming their Daddy home from his first day of work at Rittenhouse Builder’s. In his “new” truck, no less.

A few weeks ago, he was offered the position of a project manager at Rittenhouse, and after praying about it the Lord confirmed that this was the right next step to take! He even provided a much-needed new truck for Matthew, and medical benefits. We are incredibly thankful. We were not looking for a new job, but God fit Matthew for this perfectly. I’m so proud of him! Elijah is too, but he was just tired of smiling into the sun.
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As for the teacher of those wild and amazing children… she needed to pound out some miles tonight. So, this is me, after running practically all uphill for 3 miles to go fetch Matthew’s old truck and drive it home. Because that is just something we like to do. Or, it might have something to do with the fact that I’m training for a relay race taking place in three weeks. I am slotted for 15 miles, split into 3 runs over the weekend. I’m pretty excited since Matthew and I will be doing it together with a team from Rittenhouse.

So, that was our day in a nutshell! I’m excited for new beginnings, overcoming challenges, and a gracious Heavenly Father who is holding us through it all. The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad! (Psalm 126:3)

365 Days From Then

August 24, 2014August 24, 2014 / amylynw / 1 Comment

The van is cleaned out, laundry is going, and sand still sticks to the bottom of my bare feet, escaping from every corner of every bag brought home. Our skin is more tan and our hearts are full of good memories. A year ago, our lives looked quite different. I am blown away at God’s mercy and grace to us this year. From sparing Matthew’s life, to getting out of debt, to providing a “new” vehicle for us… the list goes on. Thank you, Father. A year ago, instead of vacation at the beach, we hung out in a hospital room.

This week was quite different! It was sung to the tune of ocean waves and time away as a whole family. We have never had a vacation for a week with just ourselves in all of our married years! A lovely opportunity came up for us to do so, and we gladly accepted the offer. I think the last time I played in the ocean every day for five days in a row was… this week! Like, IN the ocean, not just on the beach watching one of my babies play in the sand. Elijah actually came up to me in the ocean and laughed out loud, “I love seeing you all wet, Mom!” I played with the “biggie board” as Betty calls it, and made an entire city of sandcastles one day!

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Our week was full of front-porch talks, VW van sightings, a ride on the log flume with my two littles, bike rides, “biggie boards”, a visit from dear friends, a visit with family one day, and delicious food. Unfortunately, I forgot to pull out my camera except for a couple of days. I did catch a few extras with my phone, here.

It is hard to see the week come to an end. But new adventures await us as we start school in earnest, and an exciting change is in store for Matthew next week. I will share more about that later.

Cleared To Run

July 16, 2014July 16, 2014 / amylynw / Leave a comment

I’ve always loved to fly. Something about the sound of an airplane being able to go where my finite body can not on its own, simply amazes me. I remember the sound of an airplane coming back to our small station in the middle of Africa. I remember the pilots calling out in French: attention! before starting the propeller for take-off. I remember being in those Cessnas so many times, eagerly spying out Mount Nyankunde, which meant we were home. My sister always had her head buried in her lap, or eyes closed, so I took in all the scenery for her, my stomach never feeling the queasy hers did. Before each flight, the mechanics cleared the plane for flying.

This weekend is a big deal for Matthew. His body has been cleared to run, and we are pumped up to take this 24 hour flight. We, meaning, he is doing all the running, and I will be on the sidelines cheering him on big time. When we think back to a year ago, we didn’t know his esophagus was closing up and the strange loss of his voice meant more trouble was brewing in the near future. It was a really hot weekend, and whether it was truly canceled because of the heat or not, we look at it as a blessing from God. We don’t know what would have happened out there, but I think God preserved his life.

About 95 percent of folks think what he is doing is pretty crazy. They ask, why? Reading through the first year of the race, here, I am revisited by goosebumps. Is it safe? This question makes Matthew laugh. I don’t believe Matthew is stupid, but he also isn’t fearful. Too often we let fear keep us from pushing harder. If you asked him why he runs, his answer always is: I feel closer to the Almighty God when I run. Running strips him bare. He spends a lot of time in prayer while he runs. On the practical side of safety, his doctors have given him an excellent bill of health. However, on the side of safety where most of us dwell… not wanting to be in pain, shying away from inconvenient, and letting fear of difficulty keep us from getting stronger… he is living on the edge. Because it isn’t about safety, this life on earth. It’s about trusting a really big God who isn’t always safe. As C.S. Lewis penned: “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

There are three men we pray for daily, throughout the day. One, Jerry, is a prisoner in Africa, and we are praying for him to be found, released and the darkness to fall. One, Saed, is in a known jail, but illegally being tortured and willingly kept from his home country of the United States. Another is a good friend of ours and he lives in an incredibly dark, hellish environment in one of the most unsafe regions of the world. All three are running an eternal race with eternal significance. We don’t know the end of their stories on earth yet. We know what they are experiencing, both willingly and without choice, is bringing even greater glory to God. When Matthew runs, he enters into the suffering of these men who are running too. Maybe not with their feet, but certainly with their lives. As Elsie keeps asking me about Jerry, she says, Mama? Is he still running? Yes, he is still running. And with all of our breath, so we should be too.

We’ve been cleared to run.

Icy Poetry

February 9, 2014February 9, 2014 / amylynw / Leave a comment

This week was full of challenges, beauty, tears and smiles. And lots and lots of ice.

Great cases of cabin fever produce much creativity.

When the lights flickered off on Tuesday morning, I didn’t think too much of it. Our power-less morning meant walking over to our neighbor’s house and warming ourselves by their wood stove. We had two fevered boys chilling on the couch, and our day felt like it was going in slow motion. Not until later on did we realize just how wide-spread of a disaster the ice-storm created. Overnight, our entire area came to a screeching halt. I only pulled out my phone camera this entire week, but my mind holds the incredible beauty in its memory bank. One shot of an evergreen tree, encased in ice:

On Thursday, we ventured outside of our neighborhood and drove a few miles. Instead of typical scenery, we entered a magical, sparkling world. Glass trees, as far as our eyes could see, covered the landscape. I couldn’t stop exclaiming. Looking at the other-world-like richness, it seemed like my soul sang poetry. Words only meant for the Creator of such splendor. Words I have no ability to write. Now I know why crystal is one of God’s choices for Heaven’s decor.
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Who knew such beauty could wreak such havoc?

Yet amidst the disaster, more beauty. Fellowship with friends who still lacked electricity. Sharing of warmth and coffee. I know it has been a super-challenging week for many folks. However, it’s been such a blessing to be on the giving end of the stick. Sometimes it can be very difficult for people in this country to allow themselves to be showered with love (or water!) in time of need. We are naturally prideful, and it can be cloaked in the tidy words of: “I don’t want to be a bother”. Let me be very clear on this matter: If I don’t want you to come use my shower or accept a cup of hot coffee, then I would not offer! It was beautiful to see and hear stories of different folks bunking out at other people’s houses, or getting clean in other people’s showers, or doing laundry with other people’s washing machines. We should both be quick to offer our help, and quick to receive it when needed. What heaps of joy for those who are on the giving end!

On Friday, Matthew got scoped again to see what’s going on in the subglottic region of his throat. The doctor was pleased with what he saw: nothing worsening; small improvement; no immediate action needing to be taken. He has two weeks until he sees the ear doctor again to see if he will need a new tube put in the one side that has been infected for a couple of months. Afterwards, we sat down at our new favorite cafe in the city: Le Pain Quotidien. The chocolate banana bread with caramelized bananas: amazing.

Then yesterday, it was determined the length of hairs in this house was out of control. Everyone got their hair cut, including mama. At first, Matthew was going to cut my hair. It soon became clear how very different cutting wood and cutting hair can be. After a few snips and exclamations, which clearly indicated he did not know what he was doing… I grabbed the scissors and got acquainted with the mirror.

Now another fresh inch or two of white has fallen from the sky, and I didn’t even notice at first. Snow is no longer shocking, and I’m slowly making friends with it. Underneath each snow-flake, there is dirt and life and growth. Between cold and foggy breaths, there is great anticipation of spring in the air. Like all promises true, it will come. Be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart. Wait on the Lord.

Oscopy, Ontology, Bananafanafofology

November 1, 2013November 1, 2013 / amylynw / Leave a comment

Today was a great day to be in the city. I ran back and forth from the medical building to the parking lot to add more money to the meter, as the doctor’s appointment got longer and longer. A “quick” consult with the ENT surgeon led to seeing yet another specialist at Jefferson hospital in Philly. The first doctor didn’t like what he saw in the subglottic region of Matthew’s windpipe. The second doctor videotaped his way down Matthew’s throat and explained what we were looking at:

See here and here? Those are your vocal chords. They are supposed to be white, not bright red like that. Down beyond this area is where you are having swelling, and which makes it hard for you to breathe. It was fascinating. Like our friend (who is a speech-language pathologist) described his vocal chords, they looked like a butterfly flapping its wings… except this butterfly shouldn’t be red. The real problem lies just under the voice box, and we discussed what our next step needs to be. As the Wegener’s runs its course, it acts somewhat like a roller-coaster: flaring up and then getting back under control. We are hopeful to be on the downward slope right now.

As long as things don’t flare way back up, he is scheduled for a bronchoscopy in four weeks in order to closely examine the extent of the subglottic stenosis and to perform a balloon dilation of his stenotic area. Basically, opening up his airway ever so little and hoping this small dilation will remain open… then doing it again a few weeks later if his body handles it well. He explained it as a two steps forward and one step back operation. He will also be seeing an otologist about his ears… which have some problems again.

As crazy as it is to keep all the doctors in order, we are so incredibly thankful to have access to these remarkable specialists. We are thankful his eye tubes have still held up and look good a couple of years after that surgery. We are thankful for people who have joyfully watched our children so we can go to all these appointments and for kids who come home and report having “the best day ever!” We are thankful for being forced to slow down and recognize what is truly important. It isn’t our car, our house, our clothes, or our status. It is our breath, our relationships, our time and how we use it. We know we belong to the God of the universe, the God who sees. We don’t know when our last breath will be, but we know when it ends on this earth, our life truly begins. Until that day, we want every moment to count.

Flapper girl with my motorcycle man last night.

Everything New Today, or ENT

October 18, 2013 / amylynw / 1 Comment

As usual, this week has passed about as quickly as the wind that whips my hair through the open windows of the car. This phone dump is a smattering of what has blown through this week:

My life, in our van, is always noisy. I admit, I’m jealous of folks who say their kids get sleepy in the car. Ours tend to go a bit wild. They tell jokes, do anything and everything to annoy their neighbor, cry, sing, tattle, and do whatever it takes to not fall asleep. I experienced an almost-flat tire last Saturday. When I drove into the gas station to check it out, I hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet when a very nice man started to pump up my visibly flat tire. Turns out there was a screw in there, and was easily fixed later.

A city date with friends did my claustrophobic mommy-heart good. There are some days when the walls of home and car seem very tight, and the expanse of the city line eases the life-is-closing-in-feeling. We ate at an Ethiopian restaurant which served stellar samosas, delicious dinner and the most amazing coffee I’ve ever had. It was so good, that I tried my hand at cooking it at home, with great success and happiness.

Another highlight was our 10-10 at 10:10 date to get Elsie’s cast off her arm! With a clean bill of health, she is back to speeding across monkey bars.

This week it was an honor seeing my 4th and 5th grade teacher from when I lived in Africa. When time telescopes like this, I shake my head in wonder at how I have such clear memories of when I was as old as two of my children.

Other highlights include the fact that I need reading glasses.

Yesterday, two of my accessory-loving children got into my closet. It was a much-needed diversion from school.

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Then somehow the outfit helped Jack get through the rest of his work a little easier.

Cooking is on an upswing for me, after a long bout in non-inspiration land.

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Matthew visited the ENT this week and found out he has a yeast infection in his throat, so he’s on medicine for that now. His voice continues to be hoarse and he’s trying to rest it as much as possible. Otherwise, he feels well. In the next couple of weeks he needs to meet up with the plastic surgeon who did the surgery on his eyes a couple of years ago. We will need to set up a long-term game plan for possible future reconstructive surgery of his sinus area. The bridge of his nose is collapsing, and before a situation might become emergent, we need to figure out some possible courses of action. We would love to stop the medical dates, trips to the pharmacy, and be immune to disease. Yet, we know Jesus more through trial than through ease. We grow when the weight is heavy, not light. This temporary home loses much of its charm when it’s full of trouble, and our heavenly home grows more beautiful. Knowing every situation is allowed by God who knows and loves us more deeply than we’ll ever understand, gives comfort and peace beyond explanation. One day ENT will have a new meaning for us: that day when Jesus makes everything new. Everything New Today… might be today!

Grow Old With Me

(the story of our life)

matthew

Silver Belle

Let Freedom Grow

Flare-Ups, Squeaky Brakes, and Thankful Hearts

Run Wild With The Hope

Oh I Would Run 3 Miles or More Just To See You Walk Right Through That Door

365 Days From Then

Cleared To Run

Icy Poetry

Oscopy, Ontology, Bananafanafofology

Everything New Today, or ENT

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