Flare-Ups, Squeaky Brakes, and Thankful Hearts

Fall is doing its steady march toward winter, and Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  I know time does not in actuality move any faster each year, but the feeling of it moving extra swiftly is real.

The past month has been full of life.  I’ve been staying up late at night, finishing projects that require silence, as silence is hard to come by around here before 10pm.  So naturally I’ve been sleeping in a bit later as well.  Yesterday, Betty came to snuggle with me.  She convinced me it was time to get up, because, “Look!  The sunshine is awake!”  She has been full of so many funnies, I don’t even write half of them down.  Yesterday there was a spider crawling on the ground.  Not a normal sight in our house, and she was more freaked out than I thought she would be.  After awhile of being on the couch, she starting dancing up and down and said how she had to go potty.  She didn’t want to leave the couch because of the spider (which was long gone by now).  She even tried to talk herself out of being scared.  “Spiders don’t live in houses.  They live on spider webs.”  It didn’t work.  “I’m scared of spiders.  I don’t know where to go.”  Elsie had the perfect solution: walk on the floor all around the carpet, and don’t touch the carpet where the spider was last seen.  Problem solved.  Their cute little feet tip-toed all around the carpet and walked to the bathroom.  She also loves to sing.  Sometimes she pulls out my guitar and sings all about Jesus.  At the particular moment one of these was taken, she was singing a song about Jesus and rock-climbing on a mountain.  2014-11-16 15.01.54 2014-11-14 18.23.40
We were looking at pictures yesterday, and Betty kept thinking photos of Elsie were of her.  We determined it was their hair that seemed so similar.  She looked at Elsie, stroked her hair and said, “I know.  Now your hair is growed up!”  I’m not the only one amazed at how time is passing.

This weekend we went to see some friends in a ballet of Snow White.  I took the girls, and it was absolutely hilarious sitting next to Betty.  She followed the story really well, but her ongoing commentary was a hoot.  At one point, she was watching one ballerina, who was supposed to be a bird, doing some flying leaps in the air.  She whispered loud enough for everyone around us to hear and chuckle, “How does she do that?!  You know, mommy, birds can’t dance.  They fly.”

Elsie is an avid reader.  Her favorite place to read is the top of the stairs, after everyone has gone to bed.  We can hear her voice, drifting down the stairs, and it usually gets louder the longer she reads.  She is keeping track of how many hours she reads, and I believe it is up to fourteen hours.  She certainly keeps us on our toes.  She is my faithful companion when it comes to running errands or tidying the house.  She has been reading a book about astronomy, which led us to a discussion about how the earth is floating, and she said in an awed voice, “God is just doing His powers right now!” 2014-11-20 14.36.13
Jack is wrestling again.  A few weekends ago, Matthew took the boys to a wrestling tournament and Jack got third place.  Elijah wrestled as well and got fifth place.  Jack has decided to stick with it for the rest of the season, and it’s fun to watch him.  He is also becoming more of a reader.  He even brought his book to the grocery store last week, and was seen reading in the cart.  This was a first.  Jack takes up a lot of energy, but his heart is solid.  2014-11-15 14.50.29
The blur that is Jack, pretty much sums up how he lives life.
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Elijah just turned eleven!  While the boys were at the wrestling tournament, the girls, Matt’s mom, and I all worked hard to switch up bedrooms to surprise them.  Nadine has her own room again, the girls came downstairs, and the attic is now a boy haven.  The exclamation point up there is the drum set we got Elijah for his birthday.  He is a gifted musician, and it’s fun to hear him improving on the piano and drums.  He is pretty sure his voice is changing, and though it’s scratchy some days, I’m not convinced yet.
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Nadine claims she is constantly hungry, which could be the contributing factor to the extra inch in height she has seemed to procure lately.  Yes, she is taller than me.  She loves to write, and is currently working on a fabulous chapter book for kids.  She babysits regularly and gets a lot of practice with her own siblings.  She is currently taking a small break from horseback riding, but is excited to get back in the saddle soon.  I love her zest for life, though it often makes me feel exhausted.  Much of what she says and does makes me chuckle, when I remember how similar I was at twelve.  2014-11-05 12.55.44
Matthew had a scare at the beginning of the month, which sent us down to Jefferson Hospital.  Turns out it was not as bad as we were thinking, but there was enough inflammation to get our attention.  Then this week his voice started to take a downhill turn again.  After today’s appointment with his Rheumatologist, it was determined he will begin Rituxan infusions again to see if we can nip this in the bud before it gets to be where he was a year and a half ago.  We are thankful.  When he talks and I hear his voice catch and sound hoarse, I immediately give my fears back to the God who knows exactly what’s going on inside his body.  Every day is so incredibly precious with this man I love.2014-11-04 16.54.17
The snow forecasted for today has started to fall.  Our van is in the shop, getting its embarrassingly squeaky brakes fixed.  I actually have gotten wide-eyed looks from people as I pull into a parking spot and come to a stop.  They look like they would like to throw something at me for the pain I’ve caused their ears.  I pretend like I didn’t hear anything.  Squeak?  What squeak?  Last month our friend did some body work on it.  I am embarrassed to say, but I backed into a boat trailer one September afternoon.  Thankfully, the trailer suffered only a broken tail light.  Oceanus was worse for the wear.  On top of that, I could barely get gas in the tank because there was a small metal flap that had broken off and was hanging in such a way so the pump nozzle would get stuck.  So, one night Matthew was trying to fix it.  He had a pencil in his hand to hold up one side of the piece, while he tried to bend it with some pliers.  It was dark.  He was holding three things with two hands.  It happened.  He walked in the door and I said, “You did not.”  He did.  The pencil dropped into the gas tank.  It was actually kind of funny.  Even more funny was explaining it to our friend.  He actually was able to fish it out for us.  Now we have a pencil-free and dent-free van.  Oh, and hopefully a squeak-free one soon as well.

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There is much to be thankful for today and always.  Happy Thanksgiving!

A Crazy-Hair Day

A week ago I wrote this, before being interrupted for another week:
Right now one boy is blaring classical piano music throughout the house.  Two kids are playing a board game, and the other two are building with blocks and dancing at intervals.  I snuck out to the front porch, literally hiding a brownie in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.  Just five minutes of peace would be super.  It’s been a long afternoon of school, apple-sauce-making, supper-cooking, and I’m not even cleaned up yet.  Time for tea and an undisclosed chocolatey snack.

It sounds all too-familiar, like I was about to type the same words now… as I lick the melted chocolate off my spoon and swallow the last sip of afternoon tea.  The kids are all in their rooms practicing how to be quiet.  I had a long but beautiful day being a doula yesterday, arriving home close to 2AM.  Needless to say, I was pretty exhausted.  The last thought I had before drifting off to sleep was: I hope I get breakfast in bed.  My super amazing daughter must have known (you see, when you pray, the Holy Spirit is listening, and can communicate that need to someone else who is listening to Him).  Her sweet self prepared this breakfast for me, and we enjoyed a lovely morning in our PJ’s.
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By lunch-time, however, my lack of sleep started to kick in.  I started making scrambled eggs and dropped one on the ground.  I snapped at the children I loved so much.  Then, I stopped and apologized for my grumpy attitude.  Everyone suggested maybe I needed a nap.  Then Nadine smoothed the air even further with her honest comment, “You know, Mom?  Your hair looks CRAZY today!”  I burst out laughing.  It still looks crazy, by the way.

The text I sent to Matthew, which prompted my apology to the children.

The text I sent to Matthew, which prompted my apology to the children.

So, Betty and I decided to take a nap, even though she is “never tired”.  Like the other day, when she told me, “My tummy hurts.  I’m tired of falling asleep.”  Then this happened:2014-10-02 13.08.58

Today she told me she wanted to “talk” before we fell asleep.  Thus began our conversation: “I have a question.”
“Yes, Betty?  What’s your question?”
“When will I be six?”
“After you’re five.”
“Will I always be six?”
“The whole time you’re six, yes.”  We then proceeded to practice counting up to six on our fingers.  She is dead set on being six.
She says some pretty hilarious things these days.  The other night she lamented in a very sorrowful voice, “Everybody makes me so sad.”  When I asked her what would make her happy, she replied, “If you make chicken.”    She asked me this out-of-the-blue question the other day: “Mom, can I put this rock in my pocket?”
“Um, sure,” I replied, puzzled.
“Just in case I need it for something.”  Good to know she’s prepared.
When I asked her if she wanted apple sauce or yogurt for a snack she answered, “Hmmmmmmmm.  I think my body wants yogurt.”

Last weekend, Matthew surprised me with one of my favorite date days ever.  We were given tickets to Chester County Day, and drove all around the area touring historical homes, barns, and grounds.  It was so beautiful, inspiring and refreshing.
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I’ve been slightly obsessed with Instagram the past two weeks.  The photos aren’t a false impression of my life, so much as they are a bit of an incomplete picture of it.  You might see a shot of apple crisp, but in the background you can’t see the piles of dishes I just washed or have to still wash.  You might see us reading books on the front porch, but you can’t see the dirt on the ground, or feel the mosquitoes trying to bite us.  You might see the photo of a budding piano-player, but only we can hear the same three songs being played hundreds of times on the keyboard.  You see the flower, but not the weeds.  October phone photos
This week’s favorite photos are as follows:
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Jack’s ongoing collection of shiny things.  A healed bone in Nadine’s big toe.  Rock-climbing date with my Elsie Rose.  Nadine’s 12th birthday, complete with crepe cake.  Love and Daddy.  The baby-waiting game.  Beautiful clouds that make me wish I was a bird.

The boys just dug out some old CD’s, and we’re rocking out to the Kry, one of my favorite 90’s music memories.  The girls are “secretly” rearranging their room (even though I could hear the furniture scooting all around their room from where I lay in bed while attempting to nap).  My hair is still crazy.  My heart is full.

Memory Lane Colliding With Today

Today I’m feeling nostalgic.  Eight years ago, what was going on?  Well, Jack was five months old and a crawling maniac.  Elijah was into drinking tylenol, and wasn’t quite sure what hospitals were for.

Four years ago, we had recently moved.

Three years ago, we couldn’t imagine life without Betty.

Two years ago I publicly confessed my dislike of showers.  I am also reminded that it’s time for another secret invitation soon.

One year ago, a baby was born.  The pictures into my children’s personalities are still so similar, it is uncanny.

Today, these five keep me overwhelmed with joy to be their mama.

This year we decided not to do Awanas.  The little girls were disappointed, and all on her own, Nadine initiated starting a “girl’s club” with Elsie & Betty, where they will memorize verses, do crafts and study the Bible together.  She has it all planned out, and I’m excited to see her organize something like this!  Tonight she even sewed a little vest for Elsie to wear during club.  She will be starting her first steady babysitting job tomorrow, and is also involved in a Bible study/horse club with girls her age.
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Elijah has definitely hit a new phase of life.  Between moodiness, possible changes going on in the voice department, and a little more moodiness, he is growing up… and sometimes that can make one unsure of themselves.  One thing is for certain: that boy can play the piano!  Only three weeks into starting lessons, and he is already grasping it in a remarkable way.  I’m really proud of him.  His musical talent doesn’t only lie in his fingers.  He memorizes songs like no one’s business.  In his own words: “I know this song like I’m breathing.”  He also knows how to tell jokes and make us laugh.
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In looking back at pictures, I noticed that Jack is still wearing the same orange shorts he wore about three years ago.  He keeps growing taller, but his waist stays the same.  He can more often than not, be found upside-down.  Today I gave him a chair to carry out to the trash, since it had broken beyond repair.  Not too long after that, I found him, armed with spindles.
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Yesterday he came up to me and asked, “Mom, has my voice changed?”  I told him, no.  He said, “Oh, good.”  Then Elijah piped up: “We already talked about that, Jack.”  His reply: “I know. But not with Mom.”  He also asked me if I could see any hair on his chest yet.  I hugged my little boy with the smooth, beautiful face and feet as big as my own, and wanted to bottle up his boyish ways forever.  When I asked him to vacuum off the front porch the other day, I noticed the sound of the vacuum was going on for a lot longer than the task required.  I peeked outside to see him doing this, using the front door as a mirror:
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I love the dirt under his arm-pits and the sweat and grime covering his body.  He is one-hundred-and-fifty percent boy.

Elsie still likes shoes, still likes to work hard, and is still enthralled with hair.  On Sunday night, she came downstairs after being tucked in and asked if she could “tidy up a bit.”  I thought about it for about a half second.  She proceeded to pick things off the floor, put them away, sweep the kitchen, wiped this and that, and made a huge difference in the outlook of the downstairs.  She voluntarily pulled out each of her baskets and folded all of her clothes just perfectly before putting them all back.  This girl is my inspiration for organization and cleanliness.  She is also a singer, and often sings Betty to sleep at night.2014-08-29 17.08.49
Betty loves to learn.  She can read, “I am Betty.”  She often adds an “H” somewhere in her name, because she just loves to write H’s.  She can also sing entire songs, and I am amazed at her memory.  Don’t be fooled by the frilly shirt and patent leather shoes.  This girl can climb.  In fact, the entire time she climbed the eight-or-so-foot fence, she sang: “I’m a climber, I’m a climber…”  Yes, yes, she is.  September Phone Photos1
It’s been awhile since I put together a sleepy collage.  I love to sneak pictures of my beautiful babies when they’re asleep.  Just looking at them is making my eyelids droop.  The only one who sleeps pretty much the exact same way every night is Nadine.  One morning, Betty came downstairs and giggled, “Mama, Elsie’s head was on my tummy when I woke up!”  They are so funny when they sleep.
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200-ish Miles and At Least One Shower

I mean to take showers every day.  Really I do.  But I often tell myself that it will happen after I exercise.  It’s a lovely treat to wash away all the stinky sweat after a good run.  But when I forget to shower… I mean, exercise… I will usually be reminded by my sweet 6-year old.  It’s pretty bad when she looked at me yesterday afternoon as I stretched my arms in the air and said, “Mom!  This is like the fifth time I’ve told you… You need to shave your armpits!”  Oy!  My oldest sister used to remind me to take showers.  Now my daughter does.  As I’ve said before, it’s not my favorite thing to do.

This little girl is the queen of pull-ups!  She can do three dead-hang pull-ups in a row, and at least a dozen times a day I see her going down to the basement to practice yet again.  She is a funny girl.  The other day she said to me, “My life is changing.  Everything I used to like I don’t like anymore.”  I think we were just having a meal she wasn’t too fond of eating, but from her point of view, it was much more dramatic than that.  She loves to sing and dance and do one-handed cartwheels.  She is growing out her hair and can hardly wait until it’s down to her waist.
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“I don’t want my hair in a pony any more,” Betty said to me.  “I want it in my ears.”  I think she meant “behind my ears”, but that’s ok.  I understand her sweet three-year-old vocabulary.  Which is really quite astounding.  She is a precious girl with a lion’s heart.  She can count very fluently until about ten, then she says things like, “Eleventeen, twelve-teen, thirteen…”  But she is improving daily on her school work, and sits for HOURS at her little desk.  She isn’t afraid of bugs.  “Real bugs fly like this!” she told me one time, flapping her arms like a bird.  “I really like ants and lightning bugs.”  Betty reminds me to use special things every day, because every day is special.  Like when she wears her most beautiful dress.  It’s a creamy butter yellow with tulle all around it.  I used to think it should only be worn on very special occasions.  Now it is worn to ride bikes, climb trees, and during sword-fights, because every day is special.

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Our week was short but very full.  The boys find reading much easier dressed in soldier gear.  On Sunday, we had the privilege of meeting Jay, from Kenya!  He was a graduate from Compassion International, and we heard his story last week at the mobile experience.  Nadine has her boot off at last, and this morning the stitches came out too.  She isn’t up to running yet, but not having crutches or a big boot is a huge blessing!  Getting back onto a horse, bareback, was a huge highlight for her this week.
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This weekend, Matthew and I will be running in a 200 mile relay with other people from his work.  I am runner #2 of 12.  Here is a look at my three legs of the race:2014-09-10 15.20.15
I’m a little bit nervous about it, but excited too.   This weekend I got my longest run in that I’ve had since March… so I hope I survive!
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Nadine told me to take lots of pictures of this weekend.  I’m mostly excited to be with Matthew for a a couple of days, even if it is doing something rather crazy.  And in honor of Elsie, I’ll be sure to get at least one shower.

There’s A Small Town In My Living Room

I think I just overheard a voting session going on downstairs, so I walked down to investigate.  Right now the kids are playing a game called “Town”, in which they are all voting unanimously as to which jobs they will each have in the game.  Elijah, who is the president, leads the way.  He just told everyone: “The money will be returned to you post-haste.”  Jack and Elsie are the mail men, Nadine is the store-keeper, and Betty is the pie-maker.  Except for one problem: she doesn’t want to cook right now.  So, Elijah called a town meeting where everyone offered their suggestions as to what she could do.  “Who votes for Betty to be garbage collector?”  Everyone said, “Aye.”  The motion didn’t pass because Betty didn’t want to collect garbage.  It was determined that she will help Nadine with her shop-keeping with jobs like: running to the bank (Elijah) for money, counting it, and putting it in the shop-keeper’s cash register.  The post office is busy writing AND delivering mail.  Mr. President is happily handing out money, calling meetings to order, and keeping things in order.  “I have come to the decision that we need to have a police station and a police man for shooting, stealing and other suing consequences.  Who should be the first annual police man?  If something happens, you call the president and I will call the police.  He shall remain in my jail.”  After going through everyone’s names, and a resounding “Nay” for all to become policeman, except Jack, it looks like Jack is the official “new annual police man.” I think they are swearing him in to office.  I hear:  “Arise.  And sit down.”  No, actually this is court in session now.  Nadine is speaking:  “I am suing Jack Weldon.  When I was sleeping, I saw Jack stealing my helicopter.  It is worth 200 dollars and it is officially stolen.”

Elijah is calling Jack to the stand: “J-A-C-K,” he spells out his name.
Jack tries to defend himself.  “Elijah, I was going to MAIL it to you!”
The questioning continues.  “Is it true that you went into the store and took the helicopter without paying?”
“Yes.”
“Was it a helicopter?”
“Yes.”
“Was it worth 200 dollars?”
“Yes.  Can I say something?  I’m going to pay her 200 dollars when we’re DONE this meeting!”  He gives a big sigh.
Elijah really is a kind soul.  His verdict:  “Since this is the first sue we’ve ever had, I’m giving this as a warning.  You will not have to pay 200 dollars or go to jail or anything.  You will have to pay 20.  Meeting adjourned.”
Then, “I’m officially closed.  I’m sorry I’m closed, but I really have to pee,” says Mr. President.  “Please, hold your thoughts.”

I just might be laughing really hard over here.  I love it when they imagine up games like this.
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In the past week or more, our little “town” has had a ton of adventures.  The biggest one began on the last day of July.

Nadine was running from a bee, her brother, or both, and she tripped going up the concrete steps of our front porch.  I heard  her crying and there was a deeper pain in her cry than a typical hurt, which kept going.  A day and x-ray later showed her big toe to indeed be broken.  So, last Friday we headed to the orthopedic doctor to tell us if there was anything special we should be doing, and to get a better idea of what kind of a break it was.

As we drove to the appointment, Nadine and I were bouncing along in the Eurovan, windows down, enjoying the first day of August.  I glanced down at the dashboard and it dawned on me that the gas was really low.  Like, lower than the really low it was the night BEFORE when we were driving home from somewhere.  I just had driven past my favorite exit for gas.  Two more exits to go until a gas station was nearby.  I wasn’t really nervous, but something inside of me just kept looking down at the dashboard and up at the exit, which all of a sudden seemed much farther than one mile away.  Then it happened.  Our van started to sputter.  I’ve never been in this situation, but I was pretty sure we were running out of gas.  Thankfully, Oceanus has manual transmission, so we coasted off the exit ramp and through one light.  I tried to start her again, and we were able to get enough oomph to go through one more light before she gave up her last puff of fumes and coasted to a stop.  In the left hand turn lane.  Within sight of the gas station.  Nadine was talking to her friend on the phone, and I told her to stay on the line with her until I got back.  So, off I went with the keys, in my sneaks, running across intersections with “no pedestrian crossing” signs everywhere.  After asking a few random strangers in the Wawa parking lot if they happened to have a gas can in their vehicle, I bit the bullet and bought a new can (to add to the three we already have in our basement) and filled it with two gallons of gasoline.  Then a sweet lady drove me back to the van.  Next thing I know, a friend pulled up behind us to see if we needed any help.  It made me feel so much less like a crazy woman having her there with me!

Back on the road again, we filled her up with gas, and made it to the doctor only ten minutes late.  The verdict is she has a fracture right on her joint in a tricky place.  So he gave her a giant nifty boot to keep her foot flat and stable.  She’s also gaining speed on a pair of crutches.  Love her spirit.  This week as a family we have been reading James chapter 1.  She took the “falling into various trials” part very seriously, and now we’re getting all sorts of practice with “counting it all joy”.
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Our week has been full of other things too!  We started school, on a small scale.  It is an opportunity to work out kinks and start slow.  Seeing them eager to start has been encouraging!  Nadine informed me, after just one day, that I have “improved so much as a teacher!”  She makes me chuckle.  On Sunday morning I had the honor of watching a sweet baby be born.  That never gets old.  On Wednesday we went to Marsh Creek with sweet friends to celebrate a wonderful birthday and to watch the sunset over the water.  Beautiful!  On Thursday we made an impromptu road trip to NJ to see more wonderful friends and played on the beach for the first time in years!  I’m still picking sand out of my hair, and I only went knee-deep in the ocean.

I think the small town downstairs will be needing lunch soon, so I better take up the unwanted role of “cook” and whip something together.  Hungry townspeople spells g-r-u-m-p-i-n-e-s-s in our near future.  I hear there is a library now, and the police station is “officially open”.  “Sometimes it’s open, sometimes it’s closed,” says Jack.  Nadine counters with, “I just don’t think anyone is going to be bad!  But, it’s good to have anyway.”  Elsie is protesting her job as the mailman, but after some encouragement she just told the president, “I’ll still be the mailman, but when I get a new job, I won’t.”  My, this is so fun.  In the words of Mr. President, “I’m sorry I have to go.  Please hold your thoughts.”

The Week Heaven Partied

Our three youngest children have been missing their oldest siblings something fierce.  Nadine & Elijah are both at different camps and we haven’t seen them in almost a week.  Before this, everyone was involved in day-camp and Vacation Bible School.  It was a crazy week, full to the brim of excitement, while at the same time draining to my energy levels and gas tank.  It was worth every second, though, especially because of what happened.

Elsie was attending kiddie camp and had come home with some homework.  We sat on the front porch together and got into a discussion about being born again.  She asked the same question Nicodemus asked Jesus in John chapter 3: “How can I be born again?”  She understood it in a new way and wanted to be saved from her sin.  It was her decision, and she prayed on her own to receive Jesus.  That night the angels had a party.

The following week, the three oldest kids had their day camp at the same location.  On Wednesday morning at breakfast, Jack said to me, “Mom, I have something to tell you.”  I asked him what it was, and he said, “Yesterday at camp I became a Christian.”  He grinned.  It was just like Jack, to process it himself for an entire day before telling us.  And the angels had a party on Tuesday.

That night, we were having family devotions.  Nadine said, “Today at camp I became a Christian.”  Elijah kind of rolled his eyes and said, “Again?”  She replied, “No, I don’t think I was a Christian before.  And I don’t remember becoming a Christian.”  I reassured her what a wonderful decision that was.  Sometimes it’s hard to know for sure if you believe because your parents do, or because you do.  Now she knows it’s her own, personal decision.  And the angels partied on Wednesday.

Thursday was the last day they were going to day-camp.  Elijah was in a stormy mood and everything and everyone was wrong.  I picked them up from camp that afternoon and the storm continued.  Eventually I had to send him to his room because the cloudiness and moodiness was getting out of hand.  When it was time to sit down for supper, he came downstairs.  He wanted to talk to me in the living room.  We sat on the couch and with tears rolling out of his eyes he told me, “Mom, I just became a Christian in my room.”  I could hear the party going on in Heaven on Thursday.

Now we pray for sweet Betty to come to know Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior.  She has four little evangelists and their parents aching for her heart to be captured by His love.

What a week.  Revival has hit the Weldons.  When the big kids come home from camp, we are going to follow Heaven’s lead and have a big party!

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Nevertheless He saved them for His name’s sake, that He might make His mighty power known. -Psalm 106:8
“Look to Me, and be saved, All you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.”  -Isaiah 45:22
So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” -Acts 16:31

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.  -3 John 1:4

Cleared To Run

I’ve always loved to fly.  Something about the sound of an airplane being able to go where my finite body can not on its own, simply amazes me.  I remember the sound of an airplane coming back to our small station in the middle of Africa.  I remember the pilots calling out in French: attention! before starting the propeller for take-off.  I remember being in those Cessnas so many times, eagerly spying out Mount Nyankunde, which meant we were home.  My sister always had her head buried in her lap, or eyes closed, so I took in all the scenery for her, my stomach never feeling the queasy hers did.  Before each flight, the mechanics cleared the plane for flying.

This weekend is a big deal for Matthew.  His body has been cleared to run, and we are pumped up to take this 24 hour flight.  We, meaning, he is doing all the running, and I will be on the sidelines cheering him on big time.  When we think back to a year ago, we didn’t know his esophagus was closing up and the strange loss of his voice meant more trouble was brewing in the near future.  It was a really hot weekend, and whether it was truly canceled because of the heat or not, we look at it as a blessing from God.  We don’t know what would have happened out there, but I think God preserved his life.

About 95 percent of folks think what he is doing is pretty crazy.  They ask, why?  Reading through the first year of the race, here, I am revisited by goosebumps.  Is it safe?  This question makes Matthew laugh.  I don’t believe Matthew is stupid, but he also isn’t fearful.  Too often we let fear keep us from pushing harder.  If you asked him why he runs, his answer always is: I  feel closer to the Almighty God when I run.  Running strips him bare.  He spends a lot of time in prayer while he runs.  On the practical side of safety, his doctors have given him an excellent bill of health.  However, on the side of safety where most of us dwell… not wanting to be in pain, shying away from inconvenient, and letting fear of difficulty keep us from getting stronger… he is living on the edge.  Because it isn’t about safety, this life on earth.  It’s about trusting a really big God who isn’t always safe.  As C.S. Lewis penned: “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

There are three men we pray for daily, throughout the day.  One, Jerry, is a prisoner in Africa, and we are praying for him to be found, released and the darkness to fall.  One, Saed, is in a known jail, but illegally being tortured and willingly kept from his home country of the United States.  Another is a good friend of ours and he lives in an incredibly dark, hellish environment in one of the most unsafe regions of the world.  All three are running an eternal race with eternal significance.  We don’t know the end of their stories on earth yet.  We know what they are experiencing, both willingly and without choice, is bringing even greater glory to God.  When Matthew runs, he enters into the suffering of these men who are running too.  Maybe not with their feet, but certainly with their lives.  As Elsie keeps asking me about Jerry, she says, Mama?  Is he still running?  Yes, he is still running.  And with all of our breath, so we should be too.

We’ve been cleared to run.

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A Happy Time

I don’t recall what we were about to do or where we were going to prompt Elsie to say it, but she made me chuckle with this:  I’m going to have a happy time, even if it’s boring!   Now that summer is in full swing, the words “I’m bored” are about as allowed as some other unmentionable words in the urban dictionary.  When they are uttered, a math lesson is swiftly pulled up on the computer, or perhaps the boredom quickly fades as they don a pair of goggles, pull out monopoly, shoot a home-made movie, or delve into the many library books I keep constantly in flow.  DSC_2041

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This week was so full I feel like I’m bursting a little bit.

Any week where we can be altogether for six days in a row is going to be good.  Unfortunately, every kid had a fever sprinkled into the entire week at some point in time.  Thankfully, no throwing up, but a lot of laying low.  Matthew finished my laundry room window, fixed this and that, hung this, moved that… basically filled up my love tank with acts of service mingled with quality time.  I worked on various projects: crocheting a rug out of old sheets, making some chalkboards, beautifying our front porch, and organizing our school room a bit more.
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Next, our dear friends, Ruthie & Jamie, arrived from Ohio to share our vacation time with us.  We enjoyed the front porch, got wet, went to a water/amusement park, and laughed a lot.  One night I even had the privilege of being a doula with an incredibly special couple and their precious baby girl.
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The kids found a turtle and named it Road Runner after they rescued it from trying to cross the street.
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While at the park, I learned how much Betty loves roller-coasters.  If she was a bit taller, she would have gone on everything, but she was content to do the roller coaster her size.  Her smiling face as she swooped down the hill of the coaster was absolutely priceless.  Falling from 148 feet with Jack and Nadine was also a highlight.  I’ve learned that I’m a bit more scared than I used to be of heights in general.  Phone Photos11
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Nadine came down for her breakfast today and was asking me how Matthew made her bagel.  Do you know how Daddy made that bagel yesterday?  Because it was amazing.  It was because there was a hint of Daddy in it.  I know he used butter…  When I asked her how it tasted after she made it, she said,  It wasn’t even close.  Sometimes she takes my breath away.DSC_2462-2 DSC_2460-2
One of my painting projects was a “new” dresser.  I got the dresser for $10 at a yard sale and surprised Nadine with it.

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As all the fevers floated around, I overheard this funny conversation between Elsie and Betty:
I have a headache, said Elsie.
Where? asked Betty.
Right here in my head! said Elsie with a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

When Elsie struck up this conversation with Betty she was just stating a fact, which apparently was missing a very important detail in Betty’s little mind: You were sick, she stated.
No I wasn’t!
You you were!
I were last night!  Of course.  Last night.  She likes to be precise.

Betty is learning her numbers, and I couldn’t help chuckling when she got to twenty-nine and said: Two=dy nine!
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As June turns the page into July, there is more fun in store!  Summer is such a happy time!

The Wind is Blowing Our Faces Into a Smile

There are many lost journal entries this month, as I’ve either been too exhausted to sit down and write, or I’ve been too wiped out by the end of the day.  One of those two.  Starting with tonight and working my way backwards, however, I will attempt to do a brief overview of our May Days.

The weather today has been awesome.  Matthew experienced hail the size of small golf balls where he was working, and we experienced sunshine and dark clouds, changing back and forth all day.  I had to explain to Betty five times tonight where all the snow went.

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Elsie is my helper.  I told her if she wore goggles while she chopped onions, they wouldn’t sting her eyes as much.  The other day when we were driving and smelling cow manure which wafted through the open windows, she said: If I could pop my nose off whenever something is stinky then put it back on when something smells good… Well, that would be great.  Speaking of smelly, Nadine had this descriptive offering of armpit odor: they apparently reeked of rotten chemicals with hotdogs dipped in mayonnaise.  Yum.

Right now my dad is in Africa.  In fact, this week he was able to visit the station where I was born and raised.  Partly because I was feeling especially nostalgic, and partly because the kids have been begging to pop into our “old house”, I decided to do just that.  We stopped in, and it is now a dentist office.  Everything is bright blue from the outside.  The downstairs is completely different, but the upstairs was just the same.  It’s hard to believe I stood on those stairs in my wedding dress over 12 years ago!  In my old bedroom, the inside of my closet door still had the glow-in-the-dark paint signatures of my siblings and friends, from back when I was a teenager.  There were even a set of my nephew’s baby footprints, glowing in the dark when we shut the door and stood inside the closet.  The same day, my same nephew, had just flown his first solo flight!
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School is winding down, with our last week stretching out before us!  I have learned way more than the kids, I’m sure.  Nadine has become a much more confident reader.  Elijah has improved in his math skills.  Jack is reading and writing.  Elsie is also reading and writing.  Betty loves books and can write a few letters of the alphabet.  She told me the other day: I don’t want to take it easy.  I want to take a break.  They love games, and have really improved in so many areas.  I have a nice-sized list of things I am changing for next year.  As my ever-wise husband has told me: this teacher and mama must keep a tight ship.  This week Betty also overcame some of her fear of bugs.  She managed to pick up fuzzy “calipitters” for hours on end with her second cousin, and she also willingly let an ant crawl onto her hand.  She told me very excitedly the other day: Mom!  Mom!  Guess what?  Lady bugs climb on trampolines.
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Besides book work, we are out and about for so many activities.  Nadine’s horse club has been a huge blessing for her.  Elsie & Jack have even gotten a turn to ride when we pick her up at the end of the day.  Field trips, archery, friends, blowing bubbles, picking flowers, and riding bikes leaves mama pretty exhausted some days.  I am no longer the endless source of energy that I see in my children.  I remember having it.  I know it once existed.  But it has been sucked out of my veins and into their own.  So now they just borrow my phone to take pictures of their tired mama.Phone Photos4
We do have a lot of fun around here.  The beautiful moments of this month I think can be summed up in this one picture of Jack:Phone Photos5

Our windows are down.  The wind is blowing our faces into a smile.  Summer is just around the corner.

When It Comes to Five

Maybe it’s the way her hair curls to beautifully, or the way her smile has always been exceptionally bright.  Maybe it’s her ability to make people feel special.  Maybe it’s a little girl trapped inside a woman’s body, that comes out when she’s excited or playing a game.  Nadine loves creatures with fur, especially the ones that neigh.  She has friends she calls on the phone, can clean a kitchen well, and loves to write letters.  A woman of habit, she sleeps in the exact same position every night.  Her little sisters adore her, and the other day Nadine said something funny to Betty: You know English fully now, don’t you?  When we were eating bacon the other day, Nadine discovered she actually liked it and said, I think I’m finally coming to my senses about it.  You got that right!  Today she started back doing a special homeschool girls’ horse club with a few girls her age.  She proudly donned her helmet she’s been dying to wear since Christmas, and I left her happily basking in the environment where she thrives.DSC_1469-2
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Maybe it’s the way his bright blue eyes haven’t changed since he was a baby.  Maybe it’s the way his body is swiftly changing into a young man.  Maybe it’s the way I look at my phone and see a note from him telling me I’m the best mom ever… usually on a day when I’m feeling anything but good.  Maybe it’s the way we both connect through music.  The other day he walked into the kitchen and “Don’t Stop Believin'” was playing on the sound dock.  He sighed and said, I love Journey.  His peace-loving soul hates conflict and strives for resolution.  Right now he is taking archery lessons and is one of the best shots in his class.  He is counting the days until he can drive a car, and I have to remind him how awesome it is to be a kid.  His feet are bigger than his mama’s.  Today he was looking for the peanut butter in the cupboard.  He poked around a bit then said, Maybe you can see it, because you’re taller.  He paused and looked at me, then added, Well, not that much taller, and chuckled.  He is a good observer.  Once he saw how Elsie had dressed herself.  I don’t remember the exact outfit, but generally it has to do with stripes, polka dots and flowers combined.  He said, Mom, I always thought Elsie would be  good trend-setter.  When I asked the boys why they had their shirts off the other day (when it wasn’t hot outside) Elijah said, Because it makes us stronger!
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Maybe it’s the way he is always catching up to his growing body.  Maybe it’s the way his giant puppy paw hands will one day match the rest of his muscular body.  Maybe it’s the way he leaps over three stairs at a time in his roller-blades and makes this mama’s heart beat very fast.  Maybe it’s the way his heart tips the scales of my own when he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me.  Maybe it’s in his smile that’s so big it makes his eyes squint closed.  For Jack, an umbrella becomes a parachute, taking him to another world where there are things to fight and conquer.  He is okay with going to the store wearing a button-down shirt, soccer shorts, boots with no laces, a holster with gun, and a cowboy hat.  The other day said something very funny: Mom, I just have a question.  If you pick your nose at night do you need to brush your teeth again?  Today we reviewed our neglected chore charts.  Orange marker in hand, Jack checked things off one-by-one.  A few minutes later, I heard someone mowing, which is still a rare sound, after such a winter.   For the longest time I thought it was our neighbor, then I poked my head outside to check on the boys.  There was Jack, in his pajama pants, clip-on “pirate” earring, and flip-flops, mowing the grass for the first time this year.  I didn’t even know if the mower would start.  Elijah was right behind him, weed-whacking.  They took the “yard work” part of their charts very seriously, and I think we’ll be keeping those chore charts handier. DSC_1424-2 

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Maybe it’s the way she likes two little strands of hair un-tucked from her ponytail, so she can smooth them behind her ears.  Maybe it’s the way she wears stripes with polka-dots on most days.  Maybe it’s the gaping hole in her smile where her tooth was knocked out last year.  There’s something about Elsie that makes me chuckle whenever she walks into the room.  She loves friends, changing outfits, and monkey-bars.  If all three are included on any given day, it’s pretty much the best day ever.  She loves to sleep with her stuffed bunny under her head, just so.  Phone Photos
She also sleeps in a different position every night.  She likes to do her own hair these days, and she likes to “babysit” Betty.  She’s a terrific helper and does things almost always with a cheerful heart.  Currently, she is wearing a purple shirt, red vest, shorts, striped socks up to her knees, and sparkly shoes.  She sings hymns and songs and says the books of the Bible with lightening speed.
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Maybe it’s the way she cocks her head and smiles.  Maybe it’s the way she says, Bless you! whenever she sneezes.  Maybe it’s the way her hair is still uneven from the perfect haircut she gave herself many months ago.  Maybe it’s the way her brown eyes pull me in with their sweet chocolaty-ness.  There’s something about Betty that makes me scoop her up and cover her in kisses whenever she walks into the room.  She loves her dollies, taking care of people who are hurt, baby spoons, and the color yellow.  To emphasize something of great importance she will say, “So bad”.  For instance, I want to button my shirt so bad!  I need a banana so bad!  Sometimes she will say, Mom!  I have a secret!  Then she’ll whisper in a voice loud enough to hear all around, Please, I want a chocolate chip!  I mean three chocolate chips!  She still loves receipts as “taggies” to hold while she sucks her fingers. The other day she exclaimed: I found them all!  Seriously!  After finding a pile of receipts in her little purse.  Seriously.  Her vocabulary is hilarious.  There aren’t always darling moments, but there are many funny ones.  Like today, when I laid her down for her nap… for the fifth time.  Without a word, I carried her back upstairs, put her in her  bed, tucked her covers around her and walked out.  She cried behind my retreating back: I’m not a baby!  I’m not a baby!  To which I chuckle.  In fact, you are.  You’re my baby.  When she’s not a baby, she is doing her own schoolwork, and already knows how to make an H, B, and E.  You’re still my baby, Betty.

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Maybe it’s a combination of five hearts, all with their own special places in my own.  Whatever it is, I love these beautiful children.  Seriously.