With over two weeks of school under our belt, we have so many fun adventures already embedded into our memories. Since Nadine’s broken toe, five weeks ago, we have made several trips to the orthopedic dr. to make sure everything is healing as it should. The plus side to this, is we have been making celebratory stops at Valley Forge and enjoying picnics and fun there together on the way home. We love the history and beauty of the park. A few weeks ago we were at Washington’s Memorial Chapel and acted out Romeo and Juliet. We are learning about Shakespeare in school.
Other things included in our school days are much reading, taking walks, and going places. Notice Betty playing “Dr. Bosler” (that is our chiropractor). Nadine is making quite the impression on her. The injured digit of choice is the toe these days. The boys love to hang out together in their room and “talk”. Jack creams me in Mancala every single time. The score is usually seven to whatever number the pile of stones is on his side. Elijah is obsessed with the microscope. He took pictures of what he saw through the viewfinder, and made a collage of it for me.
Last week, we went to the shore house for the weekend. We played at the park, went to the beach, took naps in the tent, and watched the ferry come in one evening. On our last night there, Nadine stepped on something very sharp with her UNINJURED foot, and sliced the bottom of it open pretty badly. So, Matthew and I spent the next four hours at the ER with her.
At least she was able to get some fun in on the beach before it happened. Now the poor girl has a boot for her right leg, and a special shoe for the stitches on her left. Thankfully, she can put pressure on her broken toe foot now, so she doesn’t have to figure out how to walk without both feet.
This last collage shows just a glimpse of our past week. Another picnic at Valley Forge (more pictures of that later), beautiful sunsets, laughter in the car, many handstands, working on chores, reading, visiting Matthew at work, and how I often feel after a full, busy day of mama-ing these five amazing children!
I hope you enjoyed life from the point of view of my phone camera. Life is indeed beautiful.
romance
A Day to Recharge
Celebrating life, love, and marriage. God blessed us with a whole lot of delight today.
Making More Than Babies & Lunches
There’s a secret between us. Yet it’s no secret at all. It is loudly spoken by the way he looks at me, the notes he leaves me, and most definitely by the five children who grace our lives.
Our love was strong from the start. Yet its strength was like that of a seed: its full potential unknown until put into the right environment. After four years of waiting, we were given perfect freedom, wrapped in holiness, that first night so long ago. What was once forbidden was now ours to hold. Each, the other’s, to have and to hold, til death do us part.
Nine months later, a sweet darling baby blessed us. I struggled with the holding on part, and slowly he grew farther from me. He no longer had all of me. I felt needed and needy, exhilarated by new life and exhausted by it too. I was leaking tears and breast milk, of practically equal amounts. And as I held this child, I didn’t realize he was drifting farther from my arms. Fear gripped my body, mind, and soul and I closed out the very thought of ever experiencing pleasure again. I was forgetting: he was my husband first.
A few months later, the distance was breached. Our secret, though dangerously close to ruin, was restored and renewed. Trust replaced fear. We had become as blue and yellow, independent of each other. Now our bed melded back into a beautiful shade of green. Our discordant solos became one unified symphony again. It took me awhile to truly grasp: children should never replace the love, care and attention we give to our husband. I’m told one day our children grow up, and am starting to believe it. They are not given to make strangers of us or dull us, but rather to sharpen and enhance what has already begun.
Exhaustion is real, I know. It is not an eternal excuse, however. We miss sleep for football games, favorite television shows, another chapter of our book, and an extra cup of coffee. Can we not sacrifice sleep for love?
Often I forget to make our bed. The past couple of days, a little small fairy, with one missing tooth, has secretly been making our bed and tidying our room. I think of her humming little self, smoothing back the covers and fluffing the pillows. Deep in her heart she knows how much we love each other. This messy bed speaks of love and togetherness. Its crumpled sheets hold a secret. I’m never ashamed they should know. The time one of them barged in, because sometimes love has no schedule and can’t wait for candlelight and quiet, I was embarrassed but not ashamed. He declared he was NEVER getting married, and we laughed to ourselves and held on to our secret.
Tired mamas, hold on to your man. Don’t replace him with your baby, your phone, your mother, or your wallet. Nurture him, because he’s hungry too. He’s hungering for you. When you become unavailable until an undisclosed date, he may eventually feed his soul, mind and body at some other source. I know you feel needed every. single. moment. of. every. day. I know you feel about as undesirable as a week-old hoagie. I know you sometimes feel like you don’t belong in your skin. I know you bear the marks of motherhood in so many places and in so many ways. I really get how a hoodie and stretchy pants are the outfit of choice these days. I understand how the thought of making sandwiches crosses your mind much more frequently than the thought of making love. I totally understand.
Yet I implore you to safeguard this secret with your life. Never share it with another. Always, always, whisper it frequently to each other.
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
-Song of Solomon 8:6-7
You’ve Gotta Take Care of Those Kids
This was the other day in Target:
I was pushing that train of a cart, gently bumping into the corners of aisles as it turned its wide arch. I smiled brightly at the mom with one baby in her cart, sitting quietly on a clean cart-cover. Betty held a receipt, which doubles as a “tag” in a pinch, so she can suck her fingers. Elijah likes to hide under the cart. Sometimes even the extra nearly hundred pounds I’m trying to push doesn’t clue me in on where he’s gone, so I start calling his name and he laughs from his hiding spot. Switching seats, spotting sparkly boots, and constant chatter makes our trip the usual exhausting but profitable excursion.
Last night, armed with four very large containers of popcorn and Christmas jammies, we drove to nearby neighborhood to watch a local light show. The lights were choreographed to a radio station, and it was pretty impressive.
Tonight little miss Betty must have gotten bit by the giggle bug. When the boys got home from grocery shopping with Matthew, it was close to 10 o’clock. The little girls were still giggling up in their beds. Jack looked at Matthew and said very seriously: You’ve gotta go take care of those kids. I’m not joking.
Betty keeps us laughing. The other day she was playing with her little baby. She had been tucked into bed for about five seconds before Betty leaned gently over her ear and made a soft rooster sound. Time to wake up, baby! She would say, after cock-a-doodle-doo-ing into her ear.
Once when Betty was trying to get out of the kitchen, Elsie asked, What’s the magic word? Right away she replied: Betty!
Today, Matthew and I were trying to have a little bit of snuggle time on the couch. We literally had five pairs of eyes glued on our every move. There is a small sensor that goes off when we start talking or kissing. Immediately, all bodies are within touching distance of ours, or there is some urgent sentence that must be uttered. In the middle of our hug, Jack came over, put his arms around us and said, Group hug! Which in turn led Betty to pile on some more love. As Elsie would say: There’s room for more in this hug! Once we started to kiss, however, Betty squealed, Let’s get out of here! They’re kissing!
The other day, Elsie was discussing age order. Apparently, Elijah was of a “medium” age. She then told Nadine: I remember you sucking your fingers! When, in actuality, she wasn’t even born yet.
This is the face I get when it’s time for bed.
It is also the face I am giving, because I am not one who loves going to bed. I’ve been enjoying the sewing machine and crochet hooks this month. Super secretive things have been in the works. There is much more on my mind to write… but it will have to wait. Right now I’ve gotta take care of this mama, who needs some serious rest.
Love Letter Home
Today I am thankful for mail. It’s amazing, how the ability to communicate more easily has increased, yet the depth of communication is diminishing. Our little black mailbox has an abundance of white envelopes with shiny plastic windows, almost automatically identifying it as “junk”. Mail has always been important to me. I remember sitting around the table in our Africa home, as my dad put us kids to work folding letters and licking stamps by the hundred, before mailing out our prayer letter. It has always been a part of my life. I remember writing my own “newsletters” as I grew older, reporting things like the weather and the status of our family pet. Once my sister, Sherry, and I made a joint newsletter and mailed them all in handmade envelopes made from magazine pages. This week I got busy making a stack of my own. I almost felt like she was with me, folding them in front of the fireplace at our old house, giddy with excitement over how people would love the surprise of such a colorful envelope in their mailbox.
Matthew and I used to write to each other all the time. Before email, before texting, I got the kind of mail that made my heart skip a beat when I saw the handwriting. This week my heart has skipped a lot of beats. Matthew has taken the time to write me every day and surprised me with real deal mail. Stamp, envelope, everything. No return address, because it would just arrive home anyway. Each letter has blessed me in unspeakable ways. I love my husband more than ever. I’m so thankful for the time he takes to treasure my heart.
Another Day in The Life
It’s pretty awesome when it’s been a few months since something like this has happened, and then it happens when I least expect it. Let’s just say I love surprises. Matthew called me to say that I had to be ready to go out with him at 5:30 tonight. “Wear work-out clothes, but bring something to change into as well.” Oh boy. That is what happens when you go on dates with a personal trainer. SO, thanks to our amazing friend and pastor, Jon, who watched our kids, Matthew and I took off for an evening of fun. I fought the urge to get grumpy about part A of our date. We went to the cross-fit gym and my nerves stopped fidgeting once I got moving. It was hard not to think about anything other than my shaking legs and the uncomfortably close feeling of about to puke. But, like everyone said, after finishing I felt great. It was also pretty cute seeing Matthew’s beaming face when I was all done. Afterwards we grabbed something to eat and enjoyed some uninterrupted conversation.
That, coupled with another sweet friend bringing us dinner, made up for the especially tiring morning I had. After we finished school, I finally caved and went to the grocery store. It is pretty bad when the kids are eating graham crackers for breakfast… and lunch. Despite low blood-sugar levels, everyone was especially energetic it seemed. We were one of those families today at the store. The boys were ninjas who were hungry for everything they saw and pretended to consume each item on every shelf. Then somewhere between when I was paying attention and when I was reading labels on shampoo bottles, Nadine had been chasing Betty down the aisle and fell and skinned her knee on the linoleum floor. It’s pretty hard to skin your knee on linoleum. She started crying and saying she broke her knee, and the next thing I knew, there were people around us and someone fetched us bandaids. She hobbled her way around the rest of the way, but it just seemed to fit the category of crazy-things-that-rarely-happen-while-you’re-shopping.
We also had to go to the dentist to get some cavities filled, (thank you, Grandma for your help!) which added another dose of real-life excitement to our day. Tucked in there were our everyday messes and tears,
along with sweet moments and smiles.
Tomorrow we head to the shore. Hopefully this time we won’t be plagued with the throw-up bug! I am really looking forward to no agenda but family. I was planning on packing tonight, but since I got whisked away by my lover-boy, it can all wait until tomorrow. Good night.
Second Annual Kids’ Day
Our second annual Kid’s Day was a huge success! It began with a breakfast of waffles, chocolate ice-cream and bacon!
Our first stop was the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia!
The kids have been begging to go there for a long time. First, we explored the giant heart!
Nadine and I also rode the “sky bike” high above the atrium! It was scarier than I thought!
Then we sat on the front steps and ate popcorn.
The highlight for me was when Matthew bought me cotton candy! I looked at the street vendor with the same longing as a little kid. Something about never getting it growing up, makes cotton candy, chocolate chips, and m&m’s all things that will never grow old for me. Cotton candy. Oh, my heart.
Our next stop was Grandma Weldon’s where we dropped the little two girls off, since they aren’t super restaurant savvy yet. Then the five of us went to Red Robin for supper! It was delish! Their choice of eats.
Our last stop was a mini-golf place, where the three of them played 18 holes. Elijah was most consistent, and Nadine came in second. Jack was the winner of the most holes-in-one and his first two shots were both a hole-in-one. On the second one, Elijah’s ball actually bumped Jack’s ball, which ricocheted off the edge and then rolled into the hole! It was exciting! 
It was a great day. We’re so thankful for our five amazing blessings. It’s exciting to celebrate our family together and make memories in this way. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
The First Decade
The white dress hung on my closet door, its thick satin hem hugging the floor. The layers of tulle under its skirt made me feel like a princess before I even wore it. There were no shoes waiting for me to slip on Cinderella-style… I was going African-style, barefoot and fancy-free. I closed my eyes for the last time as a single woman and woke up ready to marry the man of my dreams. Ten years ago. I was wrapping flowers in ribbons, and reading over my vows with nervous excitement. I was so ready to embark on this awesome thing called marriage. 
When the time came to walk down the green carpet that I pretended was grass on my bare feet, my dad had tug my arm back a bit to keep me from running down the aisle towards Matthew. The ceremony was so beautiful, and so long, and so short, all at once. Our lips had never touched and I just couldn’t wait to seal our commitment with a kiss never to be forgotten. His face was so young. We never know how we will change. Ten years ago.
We vowed that we would never leave each other until death separated us. We vowed before God and many witnesses. We vowed that we would love one another through sickness and health, good times and bad, in rich times and in poor. We’ve experienced so much in ten years, and we still say “I do”. 
When we fell asleep side by side for the first time, it was the most thrilling thing I have ever experienced. It is still my favorite thing about being married. It is pure, holy, and excellent. The greatest theft from our marriage are those few nights when we have been unable to resolve something before falling asleep, and the closeness of our bed turns from being a blessing into a curse. The foothold that the devil can steal from under us is so great during those times. The flip-side is that when we repent and forgive, the depth of ground regained is even greater than that stolen in the first place. Making up is a beautiful thing.
Ten years of loving, giving, taking, repenting, crying, forgiving, communicating, laughing, babies, toddlers, kids, traveling, trusting, growing, and changing… it has been the best decade of my life. Matthew, let’s get married again!
Romance
Today I am thrilled to write this guest post on my good friend, Jessica’s blog. She is an amazingly creative person. I remember being her staff parent at camp one summer when I was still pregnant with Nadine. She showed me this tiny photo of a guy she liked. Her eyes just shone when she talked about him, and I was so impressed with her level head and strong spirit. I just knew she would marry him one day. She did marry him, and now they have two handsome boys. Jessica is someone I wish was my neighbor, but since we can’t be right now, I enjoy getting to know her more by reading her blog and emailing.
———————–
If we are seen kissing, it is anything but romantic. But it doesn’t stop us. “Eeeeew!” our kids exclaim, while unable to peel their eyes away from our embrace. Ten years ago I was told, “Just you wait.” Dire warnings engulfed us, that this romance thing wouldn’t last. I can’t say my idea of romance has necessarily changed since I was “young and in love”, as much as it’s been simplified and yet expanded.
I have found that romance grows and takes shape when we fill our spouse’s heart with the knowledge of how much we love them. We show it off when we do things we know they will love. I know Matt loves it when I have a little lunch ready for him in the fridge the night before he has to work. I also know that he likes to go to bed with me, not before or after me. He in turn knows that I turn to mush when the house is picked up or if my shoulders start getting massaged. Romance doesn’t just belong under the pretense of candlelight dinners and expensive chocolates. A few weeks ago I woke up to a tired Monday morning, opened the fridge, and found a huge bowl of pancake batter all mixed and ready to go, with the griddle sitting on the counter, ready to accept the challenge of five hungry children. That was more meaningful to my heart than a great many red roses.
Romance, in its pure essence, is really just knowing what the other person loves or needs and making every effort to fulfill those longings or needs. Kids are good at this. They make things that will touch the sweet spot in a person’s heart. Our kids are always giving away their toys to their friends or eachother as an expression of love. They know I love mail, so I will often receive little letters and cards on my pillow, or hand-delivered when it looks like I’m having a rough day. The other night my oldest daughter cleaned the bathroom without being asked… at nine o’clock at night. The next morning it was such fun to secretly unload the dishwasher for her, then say, “Nadine, can you please unload the dishwasher?” I could see the difficulty rise in her eyes as the twinkles grew in my own, but she walked over and opened it anyway. I said, “Surprise!” She broke out in a huge grin. “That was the BEST surprise EVER!” Little things we know will touch and fill up someone’s heart.. that to me is romance. It can be in the form of loving your kids and knowing what makes them smile and feel loved.
Of course if you need inspiration, all you need to do is look to the Creator of romance. He has given us the ultimate example of knowing what our hearts needed and fulfilled that need through Jesus. He knew how deeply we yearn for nearness and peace. He came, died, rose again, and now offers to lift the heaviness of guilt and sin off our shoulders and replace it with peace and joy. He always knows what we need before we ask. He sends us romantic gestures every day by perfuming the world with flowers, touching our skin with breezes, and kissing us to sleep with moonlight. He knows how much I love color and I know He paints the sky and changes the leaves to make me squeal with excitement. He knew how I loved this boy named Matthew, and then He let us get married! He knows my need for humor and so He gave me five kids to keep me laughing every day. He not only knows about me, but He is the one who created all these crazy quirks and needs and loves and longings that I feel every day. He made and knows all about yours too!
I hope your life is full of romance. Not the sappy, chocolaty romance everyone gags over. Rather, the kind that spends a few extra minutes tucking in your children at night, or prepares your love’s favorite meal. It’s making pancakes with extra chocolate chips. It’s filling up her gas tank for the week. For some, it’s making the bed. For others, it’s leaving it messy once in awhile. I, for one, will never stand around and wait for romance to die. I will keep on kissing my man, especially in front of my cootie-loving children.
Grow Old With Me 