Where Is The Happy?

Yesterday, as we celebrated Elsie’s 5th birthday, it marked the end of my birthday week.  I actually thought her birthday was today.  As she went to bed on Sunday night she told me in her sweet little voice, I’m not going to be grumpy anymore!  When I asked why, she told me, Because the day after tomorrow is my birthday!  I was pretty tired and took her word for it.  Not until I woke up yesterday and saw some special birthday emails for her, did I realize that yes, indeed, it was her birthday.  Please tell me something like that has happened to another mom out there.  So, I scrounged in my secret trunk trying to find and hang up the Happy Birthday banner I made for such occasions.  All I came up with was BIRTHDAY.  Where is the HAPPY?!  I kept asking myself.  Before I go into more of her surprise (for me) birthday, let me back up a week and divulge all the fun that was had the past week.

It all started on my birthday, when the three older kids came with Matthew & I on a road trip to NJ.  We drove 3 hours there and 3 hours back, with about 45 mins in NJ total.  It was work-related, so nothing too exciting.  The highlight was hitting the beach for fifteen minutes.

DSC_7205-001 DSC_7235-001 DSC_7258-001 DSC_7265-001 DSC_7321-001 DSC_7339-001 DSC_7340-001 DSC_7344-001 DSC_7350-001

I had some wonderful friends over that night for tea and snacks and a whole lot of fun.  The next day I was served breakfast in bed by my oldest.  She loves to do this.  The rest of the week was full of dentist appointments, Betty learning to put the car windows down with her bare little toes streeetching across her carseat, sweet sleeping children, lincoln log creations, school, tea, and much more.

2013-03-04

Then came Friday.  After dropping off the kids, Matthew and I spent the weekend away.  What a wonderful time.  Becoming disconnected happens so quickly!  As it should be, we have both changed and grown, and sometimes we miss that happening and we look at the other as if they are a stranger we should know, but don’t. It was a treat and a blessing to have this time.

2013-03-08

From the beautiful inns where we stayed, to the memories made, it was a weekend to remember!

DSC_7455

The week was completed with an impromptu meeting with dear, old friends.

DSC_7504-001

There’s the Happy.

 

 

Bright Hope

I can’t shake the chill from my fingers.  This is the umpteenth time I’ve warmed up my daughter’s heart-shaped rice bag and snuggled it close.  Was it really a week ago that my legs were burning as I bushwhacked my way up a thorny hillside to behold a sight so beautiful it made every scratch worth it? DSC_6488 DSC_6516-001 Was it really only a week ago we were on the beautiful Haitian shoreline, snorkeling in the ocean, and crisping under the Caribbean sun? DSC_6582-001 DSC_6597-001 I remember our last night there but it collides with my today so jarringly, I wonder if it really happened?  Ocean breezes collide with winter chill.  Adventure seems to have made way for monotony.  New sights have been replaced by similar surroundings again.  As clichéd as it is, last week feels like a dream.

DSC_6622-001

My body is jet-lagged not from time, but weather.  It’s impossible to write even a summary of our week in Haiti.  I could go through my journal and tell you each thing we did or ate, but I don’t think that would be profitable.  I’d rather reflect on the ways God worked in my heart and showed Himself to me. Before leaving, our entire family was plagued with the great throw-up bug.  In between washing sheets and blankets and every conceivable surface, I attempted to pack.  How it got done is only by God’s grace.  I had pictured myself cleaning our house and leaving it pristine and tidy, with love notes tucked in different places for Matt to find while we were gone.  I left the house a complete mess.  Not one single love note, not even scribbled on the mirror.

One of my worst fears was getting sick while we were in Haiti.  The second our plane landed, Nadine threw up.  The day after we arrived, I was hit with terrible diarrhea.   I prayed for God to take it away and He did, just before we left on our first outing into the village.  The next night I was hit with a fever and went to bed shivering and sweating all night long.  The next day we traveled to the Moringa field where CPR-3 is working.  I was not about to let a fever get in the way of  the day. The moringa tree is literally a miracle from God.  Check out the amazing benefits it provides, here.  Revelation 2:22 paints a little picture of Heaven and describes another miraculous tree:  And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. DSC_5533-001 This verse implanted itself on my mind the entire day we chopped down moringa trees.  I ate their leaves and prayed for healing from the fever.  The whole day was a blessing.  We sweated and learned more about each other, and eventually I did get well.

DSC_5546-001 DSC_5615

DSC_5581-001

God took my worst fear and showed me that His grace is sufficient in our weakness.  I felt His care through my team around us, encouraging and caring for Nadine & me.  There are many fears that throw themselves at us each and every day.  This week I was reminded: you are still here, because God wants you here.  Not that I feel as if I was facing death, but many are, and we never know what tomorrow may bring.  If we rest in God’s promise of now, and do not fear what we can not see, our hearts can be at peace.Haiti Day 6

That is enough to jump for joy and be full of hope.

Strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow;
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand besides.

DSC_6488

 

Touches of Love

Healing as been a recurring theme this week!  It can never come unless there is something unwell!  Throw up on the couch.  On the kitchen floor.  On the bed.  In the bowl.  It’s been everywhere, and is magnified by the number of tummies feeling its effects.  Yet today, I can praise God for healing.  Full suitcases, healed bellies.  He is so good.

My geranium is in full bloom.

DSC_4573

This morning at breakfast Elsie climbed up next to Elijah at the table, laid her head on his shoulder and sweetly said his name.  Ji-jah.  Sometimes we only need to hear our name to know we are loved.  When God says my name and rejoices over me with singing, I know I am loved.

DSC_4543

I love this sweet little girl with hot pink fingernails, who keeps tripping over herself because she has her shoes on the wrong feet.  I will miss my babies this week in a heart-ache kind of way.  Great is our God who watches over His children.

DSC_4568-001

I’ll see you on the other side of Haiti.

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord…

song by Kristian Stanfil that has been on repeat this week in our house.

Empty Suitcases

Recently my prayer has been to change, to grow.  So He challenges me.  He pulls out all the stops until I’m left with nothing but His grace alone.  I’ve come face-to-face with the hard reality that our enemy isn’t after Christians who have everything to lose.  He’s after those who have nothing left to lose because they’ve given it all up for Christ.  Jesus is after total surrender.  I assumed that because we’re traveling to another country this week, God would keep us from sickness.  He is more concerned at honing my trust in Him than He is about keeping me comfortable.   As I washed sheets covered in vomit at dinnertime, then bathed another child reeking in their waste at midnight, I had to praise Him for the strength to do these things.  The water to wash.  The clean sheets to replace.  The comfort I could give.  As my tummy gurgles uncomfortably tonight I have to praise Him.  The other choice isn’t an option, because it will just keep me where I am, and I want to grow and change.

The suitcases sit empty, and I anticipate their filling soon.  As they are filled, I pray I would be emptied of myself so I have nothing but Christ to offer those He puts in my path.suitcase

Christmas Week The First

It’s hard to believe we were getting ready for our big road trip last week.  Now it’s come and gone.  Just like the seemingly endless roads from Pennsylvania to Indiana.  The two older kids came along with us on our thousand-plus mile adventure.  The van felt oddly familiar in an old sort of way.  More than once Matthew and I remarked about how big the kids had become since our last cross-country trip with the two of them in that very space, nine years ago.  We joked at how I didn’t have to hand Elijah a bottle this time, or that we didn’t give Nadine handfuls of Q-tips to keep her hands busy, ripping them apart.  They contented themselves with a kids’ meal toy, books, Odyssey, and talking.  I was a tad miffed that I never won a single round of the Alphabet Game.
DSC_0837-001
We had a marvelous time at our friends’ wedding.
DSC_0940

DSC_0910-001 DSC_0948-001
Then it was back on the road again.  We stopped in Ohio to visit our dear friends.  There is nothing quite like driving through the night, in the snow, on roads the map seems to make up as you go along.  Somehow we made it, with much opening of the windows so the freezing air would keep us alert.  It was an exciting memory!

From Ohio we arrived back home, and happily reunited with the other three kiddos.  We enjoyed a Christmas Eve-Eve with Matthew’s cousins.  There’s nothing quite as precious as a new baby.  Zachary Taylor made a perfect little Santa.
DSC_0973-001 DSC_0971-001

DSC_0980-001

DSC_1035-001

Christmas morning was spent at home by ourselves for the very first time ever.  Matthew’s parents, brother, and sister flew to Italy on Christmas Day to visit his other brother and family who are stationed there right now.  It was strange to be on our own, but special as well.
DSC_1080-001 DSC_1109-001 DSC_1192-001
Then came the snow.  What a delight!  The kids played and played.
DSC_1140-001 DSC_1147-001 DSC_1161-001 DSC_1168-001 DSC_1174 DSC_1176-001
Today was spent doing things which needed doing.  Making laundry soap was so much more fun when I had a cute helper who liked to smile into her reflection on the mixing bowl!DSC_1416-001

Next, an impromptu trip to Chic-Fil-A for the younger three kids to get their faces painted.  DSC_1455-001

DSC_1470-001

Betty sat oh-so-still while the lady painted her face.  Once she finished, it was as hard to keep her still enough for a picture, as it is to keep a butterfly from flitting away.  
DSC_1475-001
She became the butterfly painted on her cheek.
DSC_1490-001

It has been a full week.  Full of miles, brimming with memories, and overflowing with whimsy.  Tomorrow we get to keep our Christmas week going, as we pile into our van once again and trek our way up North for a Christmas weekend with my family.

DSC_1136-001
Merry Christmas!

How To Use A Runaway Truck Ramp

This week I had the privilege of reading a brand new book that just hit the shelves.  Our friends, Shawn & Maile Smucker, are two incredibly talented story-tellers and writers.  They not only dream big dreams, but they live them out, and have beautifully and poignantly shared their latest adventure with us.  I literally felt as if I was another passenger, traveling across the country alongside them and their four children.  I was mesmerized by the scenery and people they encountered along the way.  As I read, each chapter felt like another delicious bite of a feast that I didn’t want to end.  Here is a short excerpt to whet your appetite:

Saturday night we cruised north on I-75. We had spent a few beautiful days at Reed Bingham State Park in Georgia (where Maile’s imaginary mugging took place), and a wonderful afternoon with friends just outside of Atlanta. By the time we left, it was growing dark – our destination was a truck stop close to the Tennessee border. The highway was a sea of red, and rain streaked the brake lights across the bus’s massive windshield in arcs and splashes. But the traffic charged forward, sweeping us along with it.

In the distance, the lights of Atlanta’s skyscrapers rose above the trees like the center of a newly formed galaxy.  

The kids played in the back of the bus, long past their normal bed time.  Maile sat beside me at the front of the bus, her feet up on the dash. We talked about how years change people. How life has made us a little more tired, a little more mature, a touch more cynical, a little less selfish.

Then we entered the city, the lights rising around us. It’s a fascinating feeling, driving through such tall buildings late on a rainy, Saturday night.  The lights reflected off the wet highway, battered the windshield. Passing cars glared into my side view mirrors, then flashed past, making disgruntled sounds in the rain. When I opened the small sliding window beside the driver’s seat, the smell of wet, hot macadam rushed in to where we sat, filling the bus with an early summer.

Lightning flashed. Or was that a streetlight blinking out?

Then a quiet rustling through the curtain beside me. In the far reaches of my peripheral vision, out at the edge of a different galaxy, 2-year-old Sam had quietly walked to the front, pushed through the curtain that separated us from the back, and sat on the step beside my seat. He looked up through those huge pieces of glass, up through the rain, up at the forty- story office buildings with lights just blinking out.  

Like a cricket in the forest looking up at the moon. Was there anything smaller than him in that entire city, looking up at its expanse? For a moment, he seemed like the center of it all.  

Then, in a whisper, he said one word: 

“Uh-mazing.”

A few times my heart beat faster, as I mentally went through some of their stories.  Other times I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and kept reading through the blur.  An adventure like they experienced tugs at me in a way that’s hard to describe.  I encourage you to pull up a seat on their big blue bus named Willie, and get lost in their 10,000 mile adventure.

BookCover
Shawn Smucker is the author of How to Use a Runaway Truck Ramp and Building a Life Out of Words. He lives in Lancaster County, PA with his wife Maile and their four children. You can find him on Twitter and Facebook, and he blogs (almost) daily at shawnsmucker.com.  Maile blogs at mailesmucker.blogspot.com.